CHAPTER 2: WIVES – PART 6
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was keen on cleaning his teeth and mouth when waking up:
‘A’ishah narrated: “Never did the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sleep, whether during the day or at night, and wake, but that he would use Siwaak (to clean his teeth) before he performed ablution.” (Reported by Abu Dawood (57).)
Al-Qurtubi (a scholar) said: “This is evidence that it is recommended to use Siwaak frequently, because one’s mouth smell changes (to become bad) for different reasons during the day.” (Al-Mufhim (136/3).)
Ibn Al-Qayyim said: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, liked the use of Siwaak, and would use it whenever he woke up, at the time he performed ablution, before he started his prayer, and whenever he entered his house. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used Siwaak taken from Arak trees.” (Zaad Al-Ma’ad (167/1).)
This is a very important matter, namely paying great attention to one’s personal hygiene and body odour because many problems arise due to the negligence of husbands to this issue.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was keen on smelling pleasant all the time:
‘A’ishah narrated: “The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,
would be very upset if he had a bad odour emitting from him.”(Reported by Al-Bukhaari (6972) and Muslim (1474).) In another narration on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas (a Companion), “The thing which would upset the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, the most was if a bad odour emitted from him.” (Reported by At-Tabaraani in his book Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsat (8764).)
Of his known qualities is that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to like perfume and would use it frequently. Anas ibn Maalik narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The things which were endeared to me the most of your worldly matters are two: perfumes and women, and the delight of my eye was placed in [performing] the prayer.” (Reported by An-Nasa’i (3939).)
In fact, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, abandoned some permissible things because they give the mouth a bad smell, like garlic and onions.
Compare this to smokers who enter their house with the filthy smell of cigarettes emitting from them, while his wife had adorned herself for him and put on nice perfumes to receive him in the best appearance, he walks in on her with this bad odour of cigarettes.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, adorned himself for his wives and would command people to do so:
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “He who has hair should honour it.” (Reported by Abu Dawood (4163) on the authority of Abu Hurayrah.)
Al-’Atheem Abaadi said: “Meaning, let him clean it, oil it, comb it and not leave it dishevelled, because cleanliness and a nice appearance is something which people like to see.” (‘Awn Al-Ma’bood (1183/9).)
A husband must adorn himself for his wife and maintain cleanliness for her, as Ibn ‘Abbas said: “I like to adorn myself for my wife, just as I like her to adorn herself for me, because Allah Says (what means): «And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected to them, according to what is reasonable.»(The wife has specific rights upon her husband, just as the husband has rights upon her.) [Quran: 2:228]” (Tafseer Ibn Jareer At-Tabari (532/4).)
Sahl ibn Sa’d Al-Ansaari (a Companion) narrated: “One day a man looked into the room of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and saw him holding a comb in his hand and combing his hair with it.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (5924) and Muslim (2156).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would let one of his wives comb his hair and wash it:
‘A’ishah narrated: “When the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was in I’tikaaf, he inclined his head towards me and I combed his hair. (The window of her room overlooked the mosque, and thus it was easy for him to incline his head to her through the window.)”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (2029) and Muslim (297).)
‘A’ishah narrated: “I used to wash the hair of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, while I had my menses.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (301) and Muslim (297).)
It is evident from the biography of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that he attached great importance to different aspects of keeping a neat appearance and cleanliness. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, encouraged his Nation to do so as well so that people maintain themselves in the best form and the best appearance.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, honoured their requests so long as it did not include anything impermissible:
When describing the pilgrimage of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah (a Companion) narrated the incident of ‘Aa’ishah getting her menses and that she was unable to perform ‘Umrah before Hajj and was crying. Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah said: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was an easy man to deal with and very well mannered, and whenever she (his wife) wished to do something, he would allow her to do it.” (Reported by Muslim (1213).)
Another example is the story of ‘Aa’ishah; She narrated: “One day the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was sitting with me, when we heard loud voices, so he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, got up to see what was happening, and found out it was only some Ethiopian boys playing with their spears, so he said to me: “O ‘A’ishah, do you want to come and watch them play?” So I went and placed my chin on his shoulder, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and watched them play. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked me: “Have you had enough [of watching]?” I continued to say no in order to see my status with him (to see how long he would tolerate standing like that).” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi (3691). The narration was originally reported by Al-Bukhaari (455) and Muslim (892).)
Ibn Battaal (a scholar) said: “It proves the noble manners he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, possessed and that one should favour what makes his wife rejoice over his own comfort, so long as the matter does not include any prohibition.”(The explanation of Ibn Battaal on the book of Al-Bukhari (548/2))
Another narration reads, “I continued to watch them until I was the one to stop and get up and leave.” (Reported by Muslim (892))
Ibn Battaal said: “It proves that the husband should endure his wife’s behaviour
even if he dislikes what she is doing, as long as it is not a prohibited matter.”(The explanation of Ibn Battaal on the book of Al-Bukhari (298/7).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not mind his wives listening to permissible rhymes:
‘A’ishah narrated: “ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came (to my room) while there were two girls with me singing what the two tribe of the Ansaar (Al-Aws and Al-Khazraj) recited to one another at the Battle of Buath. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, lay down on the bed and turned his face away. Then Abu Bakr came and he scolded me and said: ‘The wind instruments of Satan in the house of the Messenger of Allah (referring to their singing)!’ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, turned towards him and said: “Leave them alone.” And when he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, became inattentive, I gestured to them and they went out, and it was the day of ‘Eed.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (950) and Muslim (892).)
Ibn Hajar said: “This narration proves that it is recommended for one to make his family enjoy ‘Eid days’ by doing different things that would cause them to rejoice and relax after having performed an act of worship (fasting and praying long hours at night during Ramadhan). It also proves that one should be lenient and soft with women and foster her love.” (Fat-h Al-Baari (443/2).)
Ibn Rajab (a scholar) also said: The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, allowed his wives to enjoy themselves during ‘Eid and wedding events by reciting poems without musical instruments except that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, allowed them to play the tambour.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, allowed young girls to come and play with ‘A’ishah:
‘A’ishah narrated: “I used to play with dolls in the presence of the Prophet
of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and my girlfriends also used to play with
me. When the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, entered (my
room) they would hide themselves, but the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi
wa sallam, would call them to join and play with me.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (6130) and Muslim (2440).)
An-Nawawi said: “This is a sign of his kindness and good treatment to his wife.” (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (205/10).)
‘Aa’ishah narrated: “When the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, arrived after the expedition to Tabuk or Khaybar (the narrator is doubtful), the wind raised an end of a curtain which was hung in front of her storeroom, revealing some dolls which belonged to her.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked: “What is this?” She replied: ‘My dolls.’ Among them he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saw a horse with wings made of rags, and asked: “What is this I see among them?” She replied: ‘A horse.’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked: “What is this that it has on it?” She replied: ‘Two wings.’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked: “A horse with two wings?” She replied: ‘Have you not heard that Solomon had horses with wings?’ Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, laughed so heartily that I could see his molar teeth.” (Reported by Abu Dawood (4932).)
Playing and joking between the spouses fills their hearts with joy, harmony and love. This strengthens the marital bond, and deepens compassion and love between them.
Al-Qaasimi (a scholar) said: “Joking and being playful is something which delights women’s hearts.”(Maw’ithat Al-Mu’mineen (page 168).)
Ad-Daynoori (a scholar) said: “Despite how firm he was, ‘Umar used to say, “A man should act (as playful) as a child with his wife, but acts like a real man when the need arises (outside his house).” (Al-Mujaalasah Wa JAwaahir Al-’Ilm (430/3).)
Many men smile and laugh with their friends and colleagues but once they enter their house, the smile disappears and they put on a frown.
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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