TREATMENT OF RELATIVES
Most people suffer from the failing that when they marry and set up house for themselves, they begin to neglect their parents. The Holy Prophetsa, therefore, laid great stress upon the meritoriousness of serving one’s parents and treating them with kindness and consideration. Abu Hurairara relates: “A man came to the Holy Prophetsa and asked to be told who was most deserving of kind treatment at his hands. The Prophetsa replied: ‘Your mother’. The man asked ‘And next to her?’ The Prophetsa repeated, ‘Again thy mother’.
The man asked a third time, ‘And after my mother?’ and the Prophetsa again replied, Still thy mother’, and when the man asked him a fourth time, he said: ‘After her thy father and after him thy nearest relatives and after them thy more remote relatives.’ “The Prophet’ssa own parents and grand parents had died while he was still a child. The parents of some of his wives were, however, alive and he always treated them with great consideration and deference. On the occasion of the surrender of Mecca when the Holy Prophetsa entered the town as a victorious general, Abu Bakrra brought his father to meet him.
He said to Abu Bakrra: “Why did you trouble your father to come to me? I would gladly have gone to him myself” (Halbiyya, Vol. 3, p. 99). One of his sayings was: “Unlucky is the man whose parents live to old age and he fails to earn Paradise even then”, meaning that the service of one’s parents particularly when they reach old age attracts the grace and favour of God and, therefore, a person to whom is afforded the opportunity of serving his aged parents and who avails himself of the opportunity to the full is bound to become confirmed in righteous ways and a recipient of the grace of God.
A man once complained to the Holy Prophetsa that the more benevolence he exercised towards his relations the more hostile they became towards him; and that the more he treated them with kindness the more they persecuted him; and the more he demonstrated affection towards them the more they frowned upon him. The Prophetsa said: “If what you say is true you are very fortunate, for you will ever be the recipient of God’s succour” (Muslim, Kitabul Birr Was Sila). On one occasion when the Holy Prophetsa was exhorting people to give alms and charity one of his Companions, Abu Talha Ansarira, came to him and offered to dedicate an orchard for charitable purposes.
The Prophetsa was very pleased and exclaimed, “What an excellent charity! What an excellent charity! What an excellent charity!” and added: “Having dedicated this orchard to the service of the poor, I want you now to divide it among your poor relatives” (Bukhari, Kitabut Tafsir). A man came to him on one occasion and said: “O Messenger of Allahsa! I am prepared to make a covenant of Hijrat and I am prepared to make a covenant to take part in the holy war, for I am anxious to win the pleasure of God.” The Holy Prophetsa inquired whether either of his parents was alive and the man told him that both were alive. He then asked: “Are you indeed anxious to win the pleasure of God?” and on the man replying in the affirmative the Prophetsa said: “Then go back to your parents and serve them and serve them well.” He pointed out that one’s non-Muslim relations were equally entitled to be treated kindly and with consideration along with one’s Muslim relations. One of Abu Bakr’sra wives, who was a nonMuslim, visited her daughter Asma’ra and the latter inquired of the Holy Prophetsa whether she might serve her and make presents to her, to which the Holy Prophetsa replied: “Certainly, for she is thy mother” (Bukhari, Kitabul Adab).
He treated not only his near relatives but even remote ones and anybody connected with them with great consideration. Whenever he sacrificed an animal he would send a portion of the meat to the friends of Khadijara (his deceased wife) and told his wives never to overlook them on such occasions. Many years after Khadija’sra death when he was sitting with some of his Companions, Khadija’sra sister, Halahra, came to see him and asked permission to enter. Her voice sounded in the Prophet’ssa ears very much like that of Khadijara and when he heard it he said: “Oh Lord! This is Halahra, Khadija’sra sister.” Indeed, true affection always manifests itself thus that one becomes fond of and considerate towards all those who may be connected with a person whom one loves or holds in high esteem.
Anas bin Malikra relates that during the course of a journey he found himself in the company of Jarir bin ‘Abdullahra and observed that the latter busied himself in looking after him as a servant looks after his master. As Jarir bin ‘Abdullahra was older than Anasra, the latter was embarrassed and protested that Jarirra should not put himself out on his account. Jarirra replied: “I used to observe how devotedly the Ansar served the Holy Prophetsa and, being impressed with their devotion to and love for the Holy Prophetsa, I had resolved in my mind that if I ever happened to be in the company of an Ansari, I would serve him like a servant. I am, therefore, only carrying out my resolve and you should not seek to dissuade me” (Muslim).
This incident affirms that where one person truly loves another, his affection extends also to those who sincerely serve the object of his attachment. In the same way those who truly honour their parents are always deferential and considerate towards those who may be connected with their parents through bonds of affection or relationship. On one occasion the Holy Prophetsa stressed it as the highest virtue for a man to honour the friends of his father. Among the persons addressed was ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umarra. Many years after, while proceeding on Pilgrimage, he met a Bedouin and he made over to him his own mount and also presented him with his turban. One of his companions observed that he had been overgenerous as a Bedouin would be pleased with very little. ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umarra said: “This man’s father was a friend of my father’s and I have heard the Holy Prophetsa say that it is one of the highest virtues for a man to honour his father’s friends.”
(Source: Life of Muhammad(pbuh) by Hadrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmud Ahmad)
Comments
John Doe
23/3/2019Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
John Doe
23/3/2019Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
John Doe
23/3/2019Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.