RECREATION AND RELAXATION
Two salient and established characteristics of the Shari’ah are flexibility and simplicity. These two qualities help the Muslim in his worship and dealings.
(And that it is He [Allah] Who makes [whom He wills] laugh, and makes [whom He wills] weep) (Quran 53: 43)
The Messenger of Allah (bpuh) would both laugh and joke, but he would speak nothing but truth. He ran races against ‘A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) and he explicitly forbade affectation, artificiality, and rigidity. He (bpuh) informed us that, when a person makes the religion too stringent and harsh, it will overwhelm him. In another hadith, we are informed that the Religion is solid and that we should delve into it gently. We are also informed that every worshipper has a level of vitality and that a person who is too harsh will inevitably and eventually snap. He snaps because he only looks at present circumstances and is blind to the different situations that he might find himself to be in at a future time. He forgets about the long-term effects of his attitude and about the boredom caused by over rigidity.
Wiser is he who has a minimum level of deeds that he performs continually no matter what the circumstance. lf he happens to be more enthusiastic on any given day, he does more. But if he weakens, he at least still performs those deeds that are a part of his daily routine. Perhaps this is the meaning of the saying that is attributed to some of the Companions:
“The soul comes forth at times and draws back at other times. Take advantage of the times that it draws forth and leave it alone when it draws back.”
I have seen many people who had good intentions when they performed an inordinate amount of voluntary prayers and when they went to extremes in their application of the Religion. Eventually, however, they returned to a weaker state than the one they were in prior to the surge of enthusiasm they experienced.
What many overlook is that the Religion primarily came to bring prosperity and happiness to people.
(We have not sent down the Qur’an unto you [O’ Muhammad] to cause you distress.) (Qur’an 20: 2)
Allah reproached those who overtaxed themselves by doing more than they were capable of —- those. Who as a result of withdrawing themselves from the real world, ended up reneging on their previously made commitments.
(But the Monasticism which they invented for themselves, we did not prescribe for them, but [they sought it] only to please Allah therewith, but that they did not observe it with the right observance) (Qur’an 57: 27)
Islam distinguishes itself from other religions by being moderate, by being easy to follow, by caring for the soul and the body, by catering for this life and the Hereafter, by consisting of beliefs that are innately acceptable to all.
(That is the right religion…) (Quran 9: 36)
Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) related the following:
“A Desert Arab came to the Messenger of Allah (bpuh) and asked, ‘O’ Messenger of Allah, who from the people is best?’
He replied:
‘The believer who struggles with his self and his wealth in the way of Allah. Next is the man who isolates himself in a valley in order to worship his Lord.”’
In another narration, he (bpuh) said:
“The one who fears Allah and leaves people to be safe from his harm.”
Abu Sa’eed (may Allah be pleased with him) also narrated the following hadith:
“The time is near when the most valuable property of the Muslim will be sheep, with which he will follow pastures in mountains and places of rain; he will be fleeing with his religion from trials.” (Bukhari)
‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
“Take your fair share of isolation.”
And in the well-put words of Al-Junayd:
“Enduring isolation is easier than enduring the whims and flattery involved in mixing with others.”
Al-Khattabi said:
“If isolation only meant being safe from backbiting and away from seeing evil that is beyond your ability to change, then it would still be something that had great benefits.”
This last saying is similar in meaning to the hadith found in Al- Haakim, narrated by Abu Dhar (may Allah be pleased with him):
“Seclusion is better than sitting with someone who is a bad influence” This hadith has a good chain.
Al-Khattabi explained that, in our Religion, the ruling for seclusion and socializing depends upon the circumstances. From revealed texts, we are encouraged to mix and gather with others for specific purposes: to follow the people of knowledge and to unite with the community for religious matters. As for other gatherings, then the person who is self-sufficient in preserving his religion and in earning his wealth is better off by mixing with others only when necessary or when good deeds are involved. Nevertheless, he must still fulfill his obligations, such as praying with the community, returning greetings of peace, visiting the sick, attending funerals, and so on. What is required, then, is to not socialize to an excessive degree, since doing so results in wasting time and neglecting more important matters. Mixing with others is akin to the body’s need for food and drink. In both cases, one should limit his intake to only what is needed. This is purer for the body and the heart; and Allah knows best.
In his dissertation on the topic of isolation, Al-Qushayree said that the one who seeks seclusion should feel that he is doing so in order to protect people from his evil and not the opposite. This is because the former breeds a modest opinion of one’s self, which is required in the Religion. The latter thinking, however, means that one is attesting to one’s superiority over others, which is not acceptable in the character of a believer.
In this matter people can be classified into three groups: two of them are opposites while the third is at a middle point between them. The first group isolates itself from people to the extent of not attending Friday prayers, congregational prayers, and gatherings that spread goodness. The people from this group have obviously erred.
Those from the second group are social to the point that they even participate in evil or wasteful gatherings, wherein falsehood, rumors, and wastage of time prevail: they too have erred. Those from the middle group associate with others in matters of worship that must be carried out in congregation. They participate with others in spreading righteousness, in earning rewards, and more generally, in pleasing Allah. They avoid those gatherings that are dominated by evil, falsehood, and extravagance.
(Thus we have made [true believers], a just (and the best) nation) (Qur’an 2: 143)
PAUSE TO REFLECT
‘Ubadah ibn Saamit related that he heard the Messenger of Allah (Blessings and Peace be upon him) say:
“Persist in fighting in the way of Allah, for it is among the doors of Paradise. Through it, Allah removes anxiety and worry.”
The effect that fighting in the way of Allah has upon a person is something that we might not accept, but it is something that our conscience accepts. Whenever the soul avoids combating evil, its level of fear and anxiety increase. But if it fights for the sake of Allah, Allah will transform fear and anxiety into happiness, strength, and vigor.
(Fight against them so that Allah will punish them by your hands and disgrace them and give you victory over them and heal the breasts of a believing people, and remove the anger of their [believers’] hearts.) (Qur’an 9: l4-l5)
Therefore fighting in the way of Allah is one of the most potent remedies for combating anxiety, grief, and worry; and to Allah do we turn for help.
CONTEMPLATE THE UNIVERSE
Look around and contemplate the signs that are present in the creation. The brook, the tree, the flower, the mountain, the earth and the sky, the sun and the moon, the day and the night — they will all remind you of the Creator of all things. Thus your faith will increase and so will your degree of righteousness.
(Then take admonition, O’ you with eyes (to see).) (Qur’an 59: 2)
A philosopher who embraced Islam said:
“Whenever I was beset by doubts, I would look at the book of creation, the letters of which spoke of miracles and ultimate skill. Then my faith would not only return to normal, but it would increase as well.”
FOLLOW A STUDIED PLAN
Ash-Shaukani said:
“Some scholars advised me that I should never give up writing, even if that meant writing only two lines every day. I acted in accordance with this advice and I reaped its fruits.”
And this is the meaning of the hadith:
“The best deed is the one that a person continues to do, even if it is something small.”
And it is said that if you add enough drops of water, a flood will be the result.
When we want to do everything all at once, confusion results. These will then follow: boredom, fatigue, and worst of all, abandonment of action. If we do our work one step at a time, distributing it in stages, we will achieve so much more. Contemplate the prayer. We are ordered to perform it at five different times during the course of any given day. The intervals between the prayers allow for other activities and there is just sufficient time between one prayer and the next so that the worshipper returns enthusiastically for another prayer. However, if the prayers had been combined for one time, the worshipper would have become bored. The meaning of one particular hadith is that a person who pushes his horse to sprint during the course of a long journey will not only have wasted away his mount, but will also not arrive at his destination. Through the experiences of many. The following holds true: the one who works
Consistently for set periods of time achieves more than the one who tries to do everything at once.
That the prayer makes us organized in our time is a lesson that I learned from the people of knowledge and that has benefited me in my life. It is a lesson that is inferred from the verse:
(Verily the prayer is enjoined on the believers at fixed hours.)
(Qur’an 4: 103)
lf a person were to distribute his worldly and religious duties around each prayer, he would find his time to be blessed.
For example, if a student of Islam were to allot the time after the morning prayer for memorizing, the time after the noon prayer for reading or attending study circles, the time after the afternoon prayer for researching issues, the time after Maghrib prayer for visiting people or relaxing, and the time after the evening prayer for reading up on contemporary issues and for sitting with family, he would achieve much.
(O’ you who believe! Lf you obey and fear Allah, He will grant you Furqaan a criterion [to judge between right and wrong], or [Makhraj, i. e. making a way for you to get out from every difficulty], and will expiate for you your sins, and forgive you, and Allah is the Owner of the Great Bounty.)
(Quran 8: 29)
DO NOT BE DISORDERLY: IN YOUR AFFAIRS
Debt, financial responsibilities, and bills to pay can play a major role in causing sadness and anxiety. There are three principles regarding this issue that we must both understand and apply:
The one who is prudent will not become dependent upon others. Whoever spends prudently by spending only when necessary and not by wasting will find help from Allah.
(Verily, spendthrifts are brothers of the devils.) (Qur’an 17: 27)
(And those, who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly; but hold a medium [way] between those [extremes].) (Qur’an 25: 67)
Seek to derive your sustenance through lawful means, for Allah is At-Tayyib (noble, pure, and good) and does not accept other than what is noble, pure and good. And Allah does not bless an income that is earned through unlawful means.
(…even though the abundance of evil may please you)
(Qur’an 5: 100)
Work diligently to earn wealth lawfully and stop being inactive and lazy. When Ibn ‘Auf (may Allah be pleased with him) migrated to Madeenah, he took nothing with him. One of the Helpers of Madeenah offered him half of his wealth because the Prophet (bpuh) established a brotherly bond between him and Ibn ‘Auf Ibn ‘Auf declined the generous offer and simply replied, “Direct me to the marketplace”
(Then when the [Friday] prayer is finished, you may disperse through the land, and seek the Bounty of Allah [by working, etc.], and remember Allah much, that you may be successful) (Qur’an 62: 10)
YOUR VALUE IS DETERMINED BY YOUR FAITH AND CHARACTER
He was poor and wan and weak. He wore a tom garment with many patches on it. He was barefoot and hungry. Along with his having an obscure lineage, he possessed neither status nor wealth nor family. Without a roof to shelter him, he would sleep in the mosque and drink from public fountains. His pillow was his own arm and his mattress was the uneven, rough ground beneath him. But he always remembered his Lord and he was constantly reciting the verses of Allah’s Book. He would not be absent from the first row in prayer or from the front lines of battle. One day he met the Messenger of Allah (bpuh), who upon seeing him, called him by his name, “O’ Julaybeeb, will you not marry?” “And who would give me their daughter?” was his meek reply. He (may Allah be pleased with him) passed by two others who asked the same question, to which he gave a similar reply. The Messenger of Allah (bpuh) said to him, “O’ Jualaybeeb, go to so and so, the Ansari, and say to him, ‘The Messenger of Allah sends his greetings of peace to you and he requests you to many me your daughter. “’ This particular Ansari was from a noble and esteemed household. When Julaybeeb carried out the Prophet’s order, the Ansari replied, “And peace be upon the Messenger of Allah. O’ Julaybeeb, how can I marry you my daughter when you have neither wealth nor status?” His wife heard of the news, and she exclaimed in astonishment, “Julaybeeb! He who has neither wealth nor status!” But their believing daughter heard the words of Julaybeeb, words that to her, contained the message of the Messenger of Allah. She said to her parents, “Do you turn down the request of the Messenger of Allah? By Allah, no!” Forthwith, the blessed wedding took place. When their first night came, a caller was in the streets announcing a forthcoming battle. Julaybeeb responded without delay and set out for the battleground. With his own hands, he managed to kill seven disbelievers, and then he himself became martyred. He embraced death pleased with Allah and His Messenger, and pleased with the morals for which he sacrificed his own life.
After the battle, the Messenger of Allah was asking about those who were martyred. The people began to inform him of those who died, but they forgot to mention Julaybeeb because of his obscurity. Nevertheless, the Messenger of Allah (bpuh) remembered him, and he said, “But I have lost Julaybeeb.” He (bpuh) then found .Iulaybeeb’s corpse, the face of which was covered in dust. He shook off the dust from his face and said, “You killed seven and then you were killed! You are from me and I am from you…” And the Messenger of Allah (bpuh) repeated the second part of that statement three times. This medal of distinction from the Messenger of Allah (bpuh) is by itself an ample reward and prize.
The value of Julaybeeb was his faith and his love for the Messenger of Allah, along with the principles for which he died. His humble circumstances and obscure family name did not prevent him from the great honor that was bestowed upon him. With his meager resources he achieved martyrdom, contentment, and happiness for this world and the Hereafter.
(They rejoice in what Allah has bestowed upon them of His Bounty, rejoicing for the sake of those who have not yet joined them, but are left behind [not yet martyred] that on them no fear shall come, nor shall they grieve) (Qur’an 3: 170)
So remember, it is your principles and your character that determine your value. Poverty has never stood immovable in the way of distinction and the achievement of higher aims.
THE BLISS OF THE COMPANIONS (MAY ALLAH BE PLEASED WITH THEM)
Among the many ways in which they were blessed, the Companions were informed of their ranking through revelation. This verse was revealed about Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him):
(And Al-Muttaqoon [the pious and righteous] will be far removed from it [Hell]. He who spends his wealth for increase in self-purification.) (Qur’an 92: 17-I8)
‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was given glad tidings in this hadith:
“l saw a white castle in Paradise. l asked who it belonged to, and l was told that it belonged to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab.”
ln the case of ‘Uthmaan (may Allah be pleased with him), the Messenger of Allah (bpuh) made this supplication:
“O’ Allah, forgive ‘Uthmaan for his past and future sins.”
The Messenger of Allah (bpuh) described ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) with the following:
“(He is) a man who loves Allah and His Messenger, and Allah and His Messenger love him.”
Concerning Sa’ad ibn Mu’aadh (may Allah be pleased with him), the Messenger of Allah (bpuh) said:
“The Throne of the Most-Merciful quaked for him.”
And he said of Handhalah (may Allah be pleased with him) after he died:
“The angels of the Most-Merciful washed him.”
The wretchedness of the disbelievers
As for Fir’aun (Pharaoh):
The Fire; they are exposed to it, morning and afternoons. (Qur’an 40: 46)
As for Qaaroon (Korah):
(We caused the earth to swallow him and his dwelling place.) (Qur’an 28: 81)
As for Al-Waleed ibn al-Mughirah:
(I shall oblige him to [climb a slippery mountain in the Hellfire called As-Sa’ood, or to] face a severe torment) (Qur’an 74: 17)
As for ‘Umayyah ibn Khalaf:
(Woe to every slanderer and hackbiter.) (Qur’an 104: 1)
As for Abu-Lahab:
(Perish the two hands of Abu Lahab [an uncle of the Prophet], and perish he!) (Qur’an 111: 1)
And as for Al-‘Aas ibn Waa’il;
(Nay! We shall record what he says, and we shall increase his torment [in the Hell].) (Qur’an 19: 79)
PAUSE TO REFLECT
Consider the following ill-effects of sinning and of being heedless to the remembrance of Allah: loneliness, not having your prayers answered, developing a hard heart, a lack of blessings in wealth and health, being prevented from knowledge, humiliation, anxiety, and being tested by evil companions who pollute your heart. The above-mentioned results follow sinning just as plants grow after being watered.
If these then are the effects of sinning, the remedy lies only in repentance.
Be gentle with womenfolk
(And live with them honorably) (Qur’an 4: l 9)
(And He has put between you affection and mercy.) ( Qur’an 30: 21)
The Messenger of Allah (bpuh) said:
“Take care and be good to women, for they are restrained (and bound) to you.”
“The best of you is the one who is best with his family, and l am the best of you to his family.”
The happy family is replete with love, contentment, and the fear of Allah, the Exalted:
(Is it then he, who laid the foundation of his building on piety to Allah and His Good Pleasure, better; or he who laid the foundation of his building on an undetermined brink of a precipice ready to crumble down, so that it crumbled to pieces with him into the Fire of Hell. And Allah guides not the people who are the Zaalimoon (cruel, violent, proud, polytheist and wrong-doer).) (Qur’an 9: 109)
A SMILE EVERY MORNING
To get off to a good start every day, a husband should smile when he meets his wife and vice versa. This smile is an introductory announcement of agreement and compromise.
“A smile in your brother’s face is charity.”
And the Messenger of Allah (bpuh) always wore a smile on his face.
(Greet one another with a greeting from Allah [i.e. say: As-Salaamu ‘Alaykum] blessed and good) (Qur’an 24: 6l)
(When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it or (at least) return it equally) (Qur’an 4: 86)
Also, upon resuming one’s domestic life, by which I mean, upon entering one’s home, one should always make the prescribed supplication:
“O’ Allah, I ask you for the best of entries and the best of exits. By Allah’s name do we enter and by Allah’s name do we exit. And upon Allah, our Lord, do we place our trust.”
To speak in a friendly tone also breeds understanding in the home:
(And say to my slaves [i. e. the true believers of islamic Monotheism] that they should (only) say those words that are the best.) (Quran 17: 53)
Would that both husband and wife remember the good points of the other, forgetting the negative ones. When a husband keeps the positive aspects of his wife in his mind while forgetting (or at least blocking out) her defects, he will find peace and happiness.
An Arab poet said:
“Who is the one who has never erred? And who is the possessor of pure good?”
(And had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allah purifies [guides to [slam] whom He wills, and Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower) (Qur’an 24: 2l)
Minor and trifling matters are the causes of most domestic problems, and l myself have witnessed many marriages that ended in divorce, not because of irreconcilable differences, but because of something small and unimportant. One such domestic strife began because the house was not clean; another resulted because dinner was not cooked on time; the cause of yet another was the woman’s objection to the inordinate number of guests coming to see her husband. A list of these and other problems can end up tearing a family apart, leaving children without a father or a mother.
It is incumbent upon us to live in a world of reality (especially as regards to our spouses) and not to dream up a utopia, one that has to be realized in the home. We as humans can become angry and irritable, weak and erring. Therefore, when we speak about or search for domestic bliss, we should keep the concept of relative happiness in mind, and not total happiness.
The agreeable nature and good companionship of Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal deserves mention here. He said after the death of his wife, “She has been my companion for forty years, and in that span of time, I never had a disagreement with her.”
The husband must remain quiet when his wife becomes angry and vice versa, at least until the anger subsides and the storm abates. Ibn al-Jawzi said in Sayd al-Khaatir:
“When your companion becomes angry and says something that is unwanted, you should not take it too hard. His situation is that of a drunken person who is not aware of what is taking place. Instead, be patient, even if it means only for a little while. If you reciprocate his words with harsh words of your own, you become like the sane person who seeks revenge on a madman, or the conscious person who seeks retribution from an unconscious one. Look at him with a merciful eye and pity him for his actions.”
Know that as soon as he awakes from this state, he will feet regretful for what happened, and he will come to recognize your value because of your patience. You should especially be patient if the angry person is either a spouse or a parent. Let them say whatever they want until they calm down and do not hold them accountable for their words. Whenever the angry person is met with anger, his anger will fail to subside, even after he has revived from his state of drunkenness.
AN OBSESSION FOR REVENGE IS POISON THAT FLOWS THROUGH A DISEASED SOUL
The Crucified Ones in History is a book full of stories about revenge-seekers who inflicted harsh punishments on their enemies. What one realizes as one reads this book (which is probably what the author wants us to realize) is that killing their enemies was not enough to quench their thirst for revenge. The irony that the author conveys is that the crucified person, for instance, ceases to feel pain after his soul departs from his body. Meanwhile, the revenge-seeking killer will never find peace or happiness because the fire of revenge has engrossed, or rather taken over, his entire being.
The book relates the lives of some of the leaders of Banu ‘Abbaas; they missed the opportunity of killing their rivals from Banu ‘Umayya simply because the latter group died before the former group took hold of office. Still enraged, one of them would remove the corpse of his enemy from the grave and whip it or crucify it and then burn it. So understand this: the seeker of revenge will always feel more pain and misery than the object of his revenge because he has lost both peace and serenity.
“Enemies do not afflict the ignorant person near as much as the ignorant person afflicts himself.”
(And when they meet you, they say, ‘We believe.’But when they are alone, they bite the tips of their fingers at you in rage. Say: ‘Perish in your rages it (Qur’an 3: 119)
Source: Islam Basics By Aaidh ibn Abdullah Al-Qarnee
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