CHAPTER 5: YOUNGSTERS – PART 2
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to kiss children
‘Aa’ishah narrated: “Some Bedouins came to see the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said: ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “Yes.” Thereupon they said: ‘By Allah, we never do.’ At this, the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “What can I say if mercy has been lifted from your hearts?”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (5998) and Muslim (2317).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would give children gifts:
Gifts leave a deep effect on hearts and have a great impact on them, more so in the case of children. This is why the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to give children gifts.
Abu Hurayrah narrated: “When the people saw the first fruit (of the season or of plantation) they brought it to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. When he received it, he said: “O Allah, bless us in our fruits; and bless us in our city [Madinah]; and bless us in our Saa’ and bless us in our Mudd [two measures of weight].” He would then call the youngest child in the gathering and give him these fruits.”(Reported by Muslim (1373).)
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was keen on teaching children and nurturing them:
It was reported from ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abbas that he said:
“I was behind the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, one day when he said:’O boy! I will teach you words [of advice]: observe the rights of Allah and He will protect you. Observe His rights upon you and you will find Him before you. [Adhere to the commands of Allah in times of ease and prosperity, and He will help you in times of adversity]. If you ask, then ask Allah, and when you seek aid, seek aid from Allah. Know that if the entire creation were to gather together to do something to benefit you, you would never get any benefit except that which Allah had written for you. And if they were to gather to do something to harm you, you would never be harmed except that which Allah had written for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have been dried [i.e. decree have been recorded and finalised]. And know that, in having patience over what you dislike, there is a lot of good, and that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and hardship with ease.’”(Reported by At-Tirmidhi (2516) and Ahmad (2800).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would teach them the Quran, faith and good behaviour:
It was reported from Jundub ibn ‘Abdullaah (a Companion) that he said: “We were with the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and we were youths close to puberty, so we learned faith before we learned the Quran, then we learned the Quran and our faith increased thereby.”(Reported by Ibn Majah (61).)
His treatment of young children did not stop at playing with them, treating them pleasantly and affectionately, but went on to instil the values of beneficial upbringing and sound instruction.
Teaching the child the etiquette of eating:
It is reported from `Umar ibn Abu Salamah (a Companion) that he said: “I was a boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah’s and my hand used to go around the dish [while I was eating]. So the Messenger of Allah said to me: ‘O boy, mention the Name of Allah [before eating] and eat with your right hand, and eat of the dish what is nearer to you.’ Since then I have applied those instructions when eating.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (5376) and Muslim (2022).)
In this narration we see that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was not too self-important to eat with a child, but if he saw a violation of etiquette from them he would advise and guide them.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, guided those who made mistakes with gentleness and leniency:
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would deal with their mistakes in an instructive, judicious manner which suited the child’s young age.
It was reported from Abu Raafi’ ibn ‘Amr Al-Ghifaari (a Companion) that he said: “I was throwing stones at date-palms belonging to [some of] the Ansaar. They took me along with them to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: ‘O boy, why were you throwing stones at their date-palm?’ I said: ‘[Out of] hunger, O Messenger of Allah!’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: ‘Do not throw stones at them; and eat what falls beneath them.’” Then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, ran his hand over my head and said: “May Allah fill you and quench your thirst.”(Reported by At-Tirmidhi (1288) and Ahmad (19830).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used soft words when talking to them, in order to incline their hearts towards him:
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would call the child by the best of names, or by his nickname, or by a good quality in him.
In one instance, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, calls the young boy saying: “O boy, I am teaching you certain words” and “O boy, say the Name of Allah, and eat with your right hand.” In another narration, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, calls him saying: “O my son”, as he said to Anas when the verse of Hijab (women’s dress) was revealed and Anas attempted to enter the house of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, (as he used to do before) but he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, stopped him and said: “O son wait, do not enter unless you are granted permission.”(Reported by Ahmad (11958).) And he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would call them by their nickname, as he said to the young child: “O Abu ‘Umayr.” How does this compare with the callous, harsh treatment that so many young children receive today?
Making children used to shouldering responsibilities:
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would make them used to shouldering responsibilities from a young age, because they are the men of tomorrow. Anas says: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came to me as I was playing with some young boys. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, greeted us and sent me on a task, and I was slow in returning to my mother. When I came to her she asked: ‘What kept you?’ I said: ‘The Messenger of Allah sent me on an errand.’ She said: ‘What was the purpose [of the errand]?’ I said: ‘It is secret.’ She said: ‘Do not [then] divulge the secret of the Messenger of Allah to anyone.”’
After a period, when one of his companions asked him what the secret was, Anas said: “By Allah, if I were to divulge it to anyone, then, O Thaabit, I would have divulged it to you.” (Reported by Muslim (2482).)And in another narration, Anas said: “The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, confided a secret to me, so I did not inform anyone about it, and Umm Sulaym [Anas’ mother] asked me [about it], but I did not tell her.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (6289).)
Al-’Uthaymeen (a scholar) said commenting on these narrations: “The good manners and character of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his great humbleness; despite his status and the honourable position he occupied, he greeted the boys with Salaam as they were playing in the streets.”(Sharh Riyaadh As-Saliheen (41-44/4).)
Appreciating the personality of the child:
This is one of the most important things that a child is always in need of, and that many parents frequently do not heed.
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would make youngsters feel appreciated and appreciative of themselves, and that they were, in many of their issues, like grown-ups, with rights that are to be observed.
It was reported from Sahl ibn Sa’d As-Saa’idi (a Companion) that a drink was brought to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, while a boy was sitting on his right side and elder men were sitting on his left side. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, drank and asked the boy: “Will you allow me to give it to these (elder people)?” The boy said: “No, by Allah, I will not give up my right to drink (directly) after you.” Then the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, put the bowl in the boy’s hand. (Reported by Al-Bukhari (2451) and Muslim (2031).)
Respecting a child’s personality increases his independence, composure and develops his talents, while belittling him and lowering his status could give him psychological complexes and a feeling of internal turmoil and inferiority.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would assert the importance of being truthful with them and not lying to them:
It was reported from ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Aamir that he said: “My mother called me one day when the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was sitting in our house. She said: ‘Come here and I shall give you something.’ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked her: ‘What did you intend to give him?’ She replied: ‘To give him some dates.’ Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: ‘If you were not to give him anything, a lie would have been recorded against you.’”(Reported by Abu Dawood (4991).)
Al-’Atheem Abaadi (a scholar) said: “From this narration we learn that what some people say to children, for example when they are crying, by promising them something or frightening them, is unlawful and enters the category of lying.”(‘Awn Al-Ma’bud (229/13).)
Lying to a child destroys his trust in his parents, so he will stop listening to them and may imitate them in lying, because he observes the behaviour of his elders and copies it.
One must be truthful when trying to pacify children, trying to make them laugh or telling them stories; lying is one of the ugliest of traits but one of the easiest to acquire and the hardest to get rid of.
One last word on the issue of children, dealing with them tenderly and leniently, in addition to respecting and appreciating them makes them stable adults accustomed to independence, and nurtures in them love of others, living in harmony and brotherhood with them, and treating others with the compassion and mercy that they have known in their childhood.
Conclusion:
These are just a few examples of the Prophet’s gentleness, mercy, and respect towards elderly and children. These examples, and many others, translate the sublime Islamic code of ethics for treating the most vulnerable sections of society and provide generation after generation with a practical model that they should follow. Such care is in line with the Islamic principle of the dignity of the human being and with the spirit of solidarity and mercy that ought to spread throughout society.
While reading these glimpses of the dealings of Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, we come to a better understanding of his extraordinary mission and personality. It is in understanding this reality that perhaps we can better appreciate his moral strength.
We see in Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, a merciful and compassionate person who, whether witnessing pain or hope in others, responded with love and tenderness. When we consider him in this context his extraordinary talents, wisdom and humble ways enable us to see the value in modelling ourselves after him as we go about our daily activities.
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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