HADITH TWENTY TWO : LOVE OTHERS AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «I swear by the One in Whose Hand is my soul, one of you does not believe until they love good for their brother as they love it for themselves.»
Reported by Ahmad (13146), al-Bukhari (13), and Muslim (45). The wording is that of Ahmad.
Commentary
Iman moves us to love others and want the best for them. The absence of this love is a sign of a weak Iman and a soul obsessed with the world.
Iman is incomplete without love
We cannot live without love. It is impossible to exist without experiencing this emotion. Even the most selfish of humans love themselves. As the most basic and primary motivation, all human effort relies on it. We have seen that love is the religious beginning and end. Worshipping Allah is based on loving Him, and the goal of this worship is to gain His love. The purpose of all Islamic injunctions is to make Allah the ultimate love in our hearts. What this Hadith adds is that our Iman is incomplete until we love other humans.
It is easy to understand why. If one truly loves Allah, they will naturally love what He loves. We do this all the time with other lovers. If you have a spouse, child, or parent that you love dearly, you will be drawn to the things they love simply because they love it. You may not be personally interested in your child’s favourite toy or your spouse’s favourite food, but if you were apart for a while and saw what they liked, it would put a big smile on your face. You will be drawn to it and feel a flood of emotions overtaking you. Your love for them flows to what they love. It is the same with Allah’s love except that the love of Allah is the greatest and most intense of all loves. If we truly love Him,
what He loves will be the dearest thing to us.
We can unpack this a little more. When you think about it, you will come to realise that Allah created this world because— as discussed previously—He loved for it to exist. Every single second, Allah cares for it and its inhabitants: He feeds, protects, and guides all to what benefits them. And anyone who loves Allah should care for it too. Something that Allah made and is taking care of should be precious to us. Our love for Allah flows to it. So, how can we go against our Beloved and destroy what He loves? Those who pollute the earth, hurt animals, and abuse people are straying far away from Allah’s love, for Allah did not put His creation on earth to be harmed. Allah did not
create them for us to abuse and torment. If you see humans, especially the believers, as precious to Allah, it will be easy to extend the love we have for Allah to them. Even a sinner will elicit compassion in us as one of Allah’s special creations. One of the pious men from the early generations said:
Those who love Allah see with the aid of Allah’s light and have compassion for the sinners. They hate their actions but care about them so they can rescue them from their deeds with reminders, and they fear for their bodies to be put in Hell.
Jami‘ al-‘Ulum wa al-Hikam (vol. 1, p. 308)
This is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to agonise over people refusing Islam. Allah had to remind him in the Quran on more than one occasion not to be disturbed by their rejection: his role is only to convey and Allah guides. But he cared. And caring for someone is based on love for them and their wellbeing. So, we should love and care for all creation in so far as Allah is the One behind it. Yes, humans can act in ways to reduce this love. And the believers ultimately follow Allah’s wishes and not their own.
If Allah declared that He hates an act or a person, who are they to oppose Him? Our will follows His, and our love is all for Him. The mistake that some Muslims made historically is to equate everything Allah created and allowed with what He loves. So,
they used to look at some common sins in society and fail to fight them, thinking that they are there because Allah must like it. But Allah creates and allows at times what He hates because of a greater good that it brings, and our task is to hate sin and combat it. We love in every person the fact that Allah made them and cares for them, and we love in them the potential to be pleasing to Him. Every sinner and disbeliever has this potential, and it does us no good if they suffer in Hell. We hate to see them sad or in pain, and we want to protect them from all harm. This is loving for everyone what we love for ourselves. And it is there because of our Creator.
Love is incomplete without Iman
Iman needs love. But does love need Iman? Love is a neutral force, neither good nor bad. As we saw previously, everything moves in this world because of love, even crimes are committed out of love: love of self, love of money, or illicit love. What Iman does is protect love from misdirection and exaggeration. Iman tells us what to love, what not to love, and the proper limits of our emotions. But Iman does something else that is very significant: it elevates love to heights unreachable without it.
The Hadith of this chapter is evidence of it. It declares loving others a religious duty. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«A Muslim owes another Muslim six acts of virtue: greets them with Salam when they meet, says Yarhamuka Allah when they sneeze, visits them when they are sick, accepts their invitation, attends their funeral, loves for them what they love for themselves, and desires the best for them in their absence.»
Reported by Ahmad (673) and Shu‘ayb al-Arna’ut declared it hasan lighayrihi
It is not simply loving them but loving for them what we love for ourselves. When any believer hears this, they know that their Iman, which is their highest priority, is deficient without love. It becomes their greatest motivation to strive to love. Love becomes their mission, an act of worship that they do for Allah’s sake, regardless of how others reciprocate. They continue to nurture it—despite difficulty—as they nurture any act of worship, knowing that it takes them closer to Allah.
Loving for others what we love for ourselves is an obligation. Its absence is a sin, and it weakens Iman. The one who lacks it has not reached Iman’s reality, its heights, and its fullness, and this is what was negated in the Hadith. The weaker this love is, the weaker their Iman is. This sheds light on a common contradiction. Some love Allah and are constant in their worship but are not kind to others. Conversely, some are great socially
but neglect their worship. Both possess weak Iman. Loving Allah means worshipping Him, and loving what Allah loves means treating others as we treat ourselves. It is insufficient to emphasise one side and ignore the other. My Salah, Zakah, and fasting should increase the love I have for Allah and move me to share this love. And I cannot claim to be a good person without the worship that Allah loves the most. If there is an imbalance, then my love of Allah itself is weak. Or at least misinformed.
How can we love the same for others?
Is it possible to love for someone else what I love for myself? The love we have for ourselves is the strongest and most intense love we experience. We are the centre of our existence, constantly obsessed with our needs and wants. And this life is rife with competition over limited resources. How can I compete in school or the job market and yet wish the same good fortune for my competitors? Is my success not someone else’s failure? So, is it still possible?
It would be impossible if this level of love was the first thing we ask of ourselves. Love is the pinnacle of Iman. Anyone who did not cultivate their love for Allah and did not strive to purify their soul cannot put this Hadith to practice. The first thing one has to do is combat envy, greed, and hatred in their heart. Selfishness (excessive self-love) is in us all and feeds the rest of our bad traits. Because of it, we seek more than what we need, hate it when others are blessed, and commit haram to be on top. It is a severe attachment to this world and the self, and one suffering under this affliction cannot fathom loving the best for others. No, a process of self-purification must come first, where the love of Allah gradually displaces the love of this world and selfishness. When one loves Allah and knows Him well, it would be easier for them to share this world. Allah becomes their goal, not this world. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«Love for people what you love for yourself, and you will be a believer. And be a good neighbor, and you will be a Muslim.»
Al-Albani declared it sahih (Sahih al-Jami‘, 4580)
When they hear this hadith, they know that their Islam and Iman are contingent on how they feel towards others and behave with them. So, seeking this love is not a luxury but a necessity of Iman. When we have this love, we will understand that Allah is the Bestower, and it is insolent to question His judgement out of envy. He knows whom He gives and why. Jealousy is a shortsighted objection to Allah’s decision, a sentiment of mistrust. If I love Allah, I believe that He gives me what is best for me and gives others what is best for them. If I love Allah, I trust His judgement more than mine. And why should I harbour greed? Chasing after the world is like running after a mirage.
None of it lasts. But if I allow myself to love Allah, His love will save me from my worldly obsessions. If I have Allah, worldly glitter will not impress me. Why should it tempt me if I know it is going to perish? If I have Allah, I have it all. But if I never taste Allah’s love because I was obsessed with this world, my life would be wasted. Have we been breaking our backs chasing a mirage?
The Hadith is not asking us to put others ahead of ourselves. It is asking that we wish them the good that we want for ourselves. If I am blessed, I wish everyone to receive similar blessings. And if another is blessed, I feel joy for their good fortune and ask Allah to bless me too. I love the best for them because Allah loves it. I care about their wellbeing because Allah cares about them. If I see them as Allah’s creation, I cannot wish harm to what Allah created. I am happy for their happiness, and I am saddened by their sadness.
The bitter feelings that competition generates (e.g. envy, sadness) are an illusion. If I know that Allah’s gifts are limitless, there is room for us all to be blessed. And if someone has what I do not, I know that Allah gave me (or will give me) what they
do not have. But if I think of others as members of my family, where we support each other, there will be no need for competition. This takes a good deal of wisdom and worldly detachment. Above all, it needs the love of Allah to eliminate our negative impulses. When I know that Allah loves the believers and wants the best for them, I will not go against His wishes. I will love for them what He does and consider their pain mine. And if I suffer any worldly loss, I will not allow it to make me bitter. I will take my grief to Allah and ask Him to mend my heart. I do not need any help from anyone else. I will ask Him to grant me from His favours and fill my heart with content. Someone’s misfortune cannot conceivably make me feel better. This world is too trivial to fight over. Someone’s happiness does not diminish mine, and I gain nothing from their sadness.
If we achieve this, we can climb higher to putting others before ourselves. Allah described the Ansar in the Quran as:
And they harbour no desire in their hearts for what has been given to the Muhajirin. They prefer them over themselves, even if they are in need. And those who are saved from their souls’ greed are the successful.
Al-Hashr (Q59:9)
This is a recommended state where we put others before ourselves. It can only happen when the love of this world has left the heart, and the love of Allah and the Hereafter has taken its place. At that point, the coming and going of the world are irrelevant. What is relevant is the pleasure of Allah, even at the cost of losing this world.
If all this seems like fiction or extremely far-fetched, it is not. Start putting this Hadith to practise, and you will slowly change. You will start to understand the beauty and peace that loving the best for others gives. And you would never want to return to the torment of envy, hatred, and unending greed. As you practice, you will love Allah more. And as your love increases, your practice will flourish too.
There remains one point to discuss before moving forward: is “loving for their brother” in the Hadith a reference to Muslims only, or does it cover non-Muslims as well? In other words, is the Hadith obligating that we love for non-Muslims what we love for ourselves? Some scholars restrict the brotherhood in the Hadith to Muslims (religious brotherhood), while others expand it to mean all humans (human brotherhood). Scholars who support the second interpretation cite evidence like the alternate narration of the Hadith reported in Muslim that states:
«…until they love for their neighbour what they love for themselves.»
Reported by Muslim (45)
They explained that “neighbour” is inclusive of non-Muslims. In another hadith, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«One of you does not believe until they love for people what they love for themselves, and until they love someone only for Allah.»
Reported by Ahmad (13875) and Shu‘ayb al-Arna’ut declared its chain sahih
Again, “people” is inclusive of Muslims and non-Muslims. Even if we were to say that the Hadith is specific to Muslims, this does not exclude loving the best for non-Muslims (see Appendix III for more).
The effects of this love
It would be a different world if we all followed the Hadith. We would trust each other.
Muhammad ibn Wasi‘ was selling his donkey in the market in Merv. A man asked him, “O Abu Abdillah, would you be satisfied with this donkey for me?” He replied, “If I were satisfied with it, I would not sell it.”
Tarikh Dimashq (vol. 56, p. 166)
He did not lie nor hide the truth. If it is not good enough for me, it is not good enough for my brother/sister. We will not lie to others because we would not like it if they lied to us. Allah is the Witness and Provider, and honesty is not going to make us poor; deception will.
If we followed the Hadith, we would also worry about others and not only ourselves. We would treat people well and protect them from what we hate. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«Consider what you love that people would do to you, and do so to them. And consider what you hate that they would do to you, and do not do so to them.»
Albani declared it sahih (al-Silsilah al-Sahihah, 3508)
If we followed the hadith, we would help those in need without any expectation or reward. We would excuse others when they make mistakes, and conceal their faults to allow them to repent. We would help people overcome their weaknesses and be happy when they prosper. If we receive good fortune, we will want all to have the same. And if we encounter a misfortune, we pray that Allah protects all from it. Our hearts would be gentle, moved by the suffering of others. We spring to help as we would like others to be quick in helping us. We would not look for self-glory or recognition, but the mere benefit and happiness of others. We would know that the real reward for what we do is with Allah, not with people. Whatever people give will vanish. So, we only seek Him and are only happy with Him. People’s fascination with the world seems childish to us. We would compete for the life to come because worldly concerns seem petty. We would become selfless because we feel the nearness of Allah. And it brings us immense satisfaction and contentment. Listen to Ibn ‘Abbas L express this when he said:
When I read an ayah from the Book of Allah, I wish that all people knew what I know about it.
Jami‘ al-‘Ulum wa al-Hikam (vol. 1, p. 308)
There is no pursuit of glory or need for recognition. There is no selfish need to know more than others. It is a pure desire for all to learn and be blessed. Al-Shafi‘i expressed the same ideals when he said:
I wish that all people would learn this knowledge of mine and none of it would be attributed to me.
Jami‘ al-‘Ulum wa al-Hikam (vol. 1, p. 308)
Imagine reaching the stage where you have this invaluable knowledge, for which you could be super famous, and desire none of the fame? All you wish for is the betterment of people. His was a selfless and generous soul, a soul that desired the best for others and expected nothing from them. Such a soul can help others because it is not in need anymore. It has been filled with Allah’s love and His gifts, so there is no room in it for people’s gifts. It gives because it only sees Allah’s favours, and nothing less than that impresses it. Consider this generous spirit:
When ‘Utbah al-Ghulam wanted to break his fast, he would say to some of his brothers who were privy to his affairs, “Give me some water or dates to break my fast on so that you will have a reward similar to mine.”
Jami‘ al-‘Ulum wa al-Hikam (vol. 1, p. 308)
What an inspiring generosity. He loved for others to have what he had, so he shared the reward of his fast. When you bring a blessing to your brother, Allah blesses you too. There is no need for us to compete. The more we give, the more Allah will give us back.
When we become more religious, our love for Allah will grow. And when we feel more of Allah’s love, we have to spread more of it. You cannot have Iman without spreading love.
DR. ALI ALBARGHOUTHI
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