HADITH TWENTY SEVEN: IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, LET THEM KNOW
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «If a man loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him.»
Reported by Abu Dawud (5124) and al-Tirmidhi (2392). Al-Albani declared it sahih (al-Silsilah al-Sahihah, 417)
Commentary
Loving another for Allah’s sake is a precious gift. Sharing it is a remarkable blessing. It cements love and rescues us from the loneliness of modern life.
Spreading love
Islam promotes all that spreads love between the believers and eliminates hate. We have seen a demonstration of it in Hadith Twenty-Three, and we will see another in Hadith Twenty-Eight. In this Hadith, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم recommended another act that strengthens love: telling others when you love them that you do.
But how do I know when I love someone for Allah’s sake? The telltale sign is that this love stems from loving Allah. When one loves Allah, they view the world with a different lens. What is popular and faddish in the world is not necessarily popular and faddish with them. They love what Allah loves, and they see the way Allah wants them to see (more on that in Hadith Forty-One). When they see a person, they do not see ethnicity, citizenship, wealth, education, age, or any other worldly distinction. All people are equal to them in these matters. What they see first and what captures most of their attention later is how close this person is to Allah. If they find them to be close (i.e.
their life reflects Taqwa), they become dear to them. And the pleasure of Allah remains the scaffold that supports this love. The more this person is pleasing to Allah, the more they love them. And their love for them decreases when they move away from Allah. This is how we know. When we see that our love for another rises and dips because of Allah—and not because of personal reasons or gain—then that is love for Allah’s sake.
Now, why should we tell others that we love them? It may be awkward for some of us. Or, it may seem too trivial to mention. But sharing feelings of love serves many benefits. It will delight the recipient when they hear that someone loves them. And what should particularly please them is viewing this announcement as a sign of Allah’s love for them (more on that in Hadith Twenty-Nine). Hearing, in a single statement, that someone loves you and that Allah may indeed love you will spike the Iman of any believer. This blessed testament of love—a few kind words that take seconds to say—brings considerable joy to a Muslim, removes their sadness, and bolsters their Iman. Consequently, love between the two will grow. And when this declaration of love becomes common practice, the bonds of brotherhood/sisterhood will be stronger in society as a whole.
Another valuable outcome is that people will be more inclined to accept advice from each other. The reason that many of us are averse to advice is our suspicion that it is an attack disguised as advice. No one likes to be criticized. And we especially hate it from someone who hates you. But advice will be better received when coming from someone who cares for you: we are more likely to heed the advice of those who love us. Additionally, strong love foils the plots of Shaytan. At the onset of an argument or the possibility of discord, lovers know how to preserve their love: they remain humble, they respect each other, forgive each other, and support each other. They know that love for Allah’s sake is more significant than any minor disagreement, definitely bigger than their egos. They place this love above their interests because they please Allah before themselves.
Spreading love also has the advantage of combating many of the diseases of the heart. We are often plagued with envy, pride, and greed. At the core of it all, we are selfish; this is why we fight most of the time. But when you know that someone loves you and wants nothing back from you for this love, your heart will change. You will find it harder to envy them, harder to be angry with them. You are more likely to wish them well, to be nicer to them, and to think of them and not only yourself. When we know that someone loves us, and sincerely desires the best for us, we will not be in direct competition with them. This is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم urged that man to let the other know how he felt. It is advice for all of us to let others know, for we will be changing ourselves and society when we do. We would be performing an act of worship that brings us both—I and the one I love—closer to Allah.
Sharing your feelings
It may be hard to share your feelings, but it is important that you do. We are living today in a love-deprived world. When everything got mechanized, automated, and digitized, we lost human interaction and warmth. Moreover, the commercialization of
society has reduced our value to what we generate—dollars and profit. We became obsessed with artificial and ephemeral outward glamor. And the globalization of consumerism has turned us into fierce competitors with a winner-take-all attitude. For the sake of this competition—and because of other societal pressures—we separate from our families and loved ones and settle into a lonelier existence. And so, we feel anxious and unloved. And we desperately need to hear that someone loves us. Sincere love, not transactional. Not because they can profit from us, or because they need a favor. It is not about beauty that will fade one day or wealth that I may lose the next day. No. They love us because we deserve this love, because of something in us. When you hear that someone loves for Allah, you will know that they do not want anything back from you. They love you for you. And you will feel closer to them and closer to Allah who made this love possible. This is how we can restore love to a world that has lost it and does not know how to get it back.
Our best example in spreading love is the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. He did not hesitate to express his emotions. He announced his love, and by that he made people love Allah.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم once held the hand of Mu‘adh and said, «O Mu‘adh, by Allah I love you.» Mu‘adh said, “You are dearer to me than my mother and father, by Allah I love you.” So, he said, «O Mu‘adh, I am advising you. Do not neglect to say
after each Salah, “O Allah, help me to remember you, thank you, and worship you well.”»
Reported by Abu Dawud (1522) and Ibn Hibban (2020) and the wording of the hadith is the latter’s. Al-Albani declared it sahih (al-Ta‘liqat al-Hisan, 2017)
Consider the warm introduction that paved the way for this vital teaching. Mu‘adh probably remembered this advice and practiced it for the rest of his life. Why? Because he heard before it that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loved him, and he taught him this because he loved him. It is one thing to give advice but another to tell people that you care about them. If they know you care, it is easier to receive advice and accept it.
In another hadith, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم expressed his love to a group from the Ansar.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم went out one day while he had wrapped his head. He was received by the children and servants of the Ansar—they were not their dignitaries. He said to them, «By the One who has my soul in His Hand, I love you [he said it twice or thrice].»
Reported by Ibn Hibban (7266). Al-Albani declared it sahih (al-Ta‘liqat al-Hisan, 7222)
Noting that they were not the dignitaries of the Ansar is telling us that it was not done for any worldly consideration. When you say to the least powerful in society that you love them, you are not expecting something back from them. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loved the Ansar, and when he saw their children and servants, he did not hide his affection. It is the weakest and most vulnerable—the ones with broken hearts—who need to hear this the most.
When someone tells you that they love you for Allah’s sake, the Sunnah is to make du’a for them to receive Allah’s love.
A man was next to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as another man passed them. The first man said, “O Messenger of Allah, I love that man.” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked him, «Did you let him know?» He said, “No.” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «Let him know.» So, he caught up with him and said, “I love you for Allah’s sake.” He said back
to him, “May the One for whom you loved me love you.”
Reported by Abu Dawud (5125) and al-Albani declared it sahih (Sahih Abi Dawud, 5125)
This is what we all want. We love what Allah loves so Allah would love us. And when you receive this du‘a, you know why it was worth it to tell someone that you love them. The warmth of that moment is indescribable, and the shared joy is among the best moments we will experience. This is what the love of Allah does. And we need to have more of these experiences and moments in our lives. If you love someone for Allah’s sake, let them know.
DR. ALI ALBARGHOUTHI
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