HADITH TWENTY EIGHT: GIVE TO SPREAD LOVE
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «Give presents to each other and you will love each other.»
Reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad (594) and by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubra (11946). Al-Albani declared it hasan (Sahih al-Adab al-Mufrad, 594)
Commentary
Giving, in the form of gifts or charity, benefits both the giver and the recipient. One of its most significant consequences is removing hatred and selfishness from the hearts, paving the way for more love and mercy.
The gift of love
A gift may seem like a small gesture, but its impact is great. We have a natural desire for this world. And if it is not excessive and does not distract from Allah, it is blameless. With this in mind, it is natural for us to like gifts and to like those who give them.
We also love kindness and those who show it. Gifts delight us because they express goodwill and reveal someone’s care for us. It is also pleasing to receive something new, even a mere trifle.
The benefits of gifting extend to both gifter and giftee. The gift-recipient feels appreciated and loved. The gift may also be something they need, helping to alleviate their hardship and enhance their life. The gift-giver, on their end, is rewarded for the practice of the Sunnah, the worship of spreading love, bringing joy to a fellow Muslim, and helping them in times of need. This worship also combats the stinginess in the self.
When we develop gift-giving into a habit, we become used to thinking about others, valuing them more than money, and working for their benefit. As love grows between gifter and giftee, there will be less room for envy, suspicion, backbiting, and enmity. Society as a whole improves from the practice of this seemingly small Sunnah.
Gifts have the incredible effect of changing feelings. Safwan ibn Umayyah I accepted Islam after years of opposition to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. As could be expected, years of conflict had left their mark on his heart, and he could not easily move beyond
the hatred of the past. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم understood this well, and he softened his heart with gifts. This changed him. Safwan said:
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم gave me on the day of Hunayn while he was the most hated person to me. And he continued to give me until he became the most beloved person to me.
Reported by Muslim (2313) and al-Tirmidhi (666) and the wording is that of al-Tirmidhi (Sahih al-Tirmidhi, 666)
This is how much he gave him.
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم gave Safwan ibn Umayyah one hundred livestock animals, then another hundred, and then another hundred.
Reported by Muslim (2313)
Another narration provides more details of the event and the moment of transformation.
It was said that Safwan joined the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as the latter was inspecting the spoils of war. They passed by a valley that was full of sheep and camels with their shepherds, which was what Allah had given to him from the spoils of war. Safwan admired it and kept staring at it. The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم asked him, «Abu Wahb, do you admire what is in this valley?» He said, “Yes.” He said, «It is all yours.» Safwan said, “I testify that only the soul of a Prophet could be comfortable with such giving. I testify that you are the Messenger of Allah.”
Maghazi al-Waqidi (vol. 3, p. 946)
Only a Prophet could give like this! Safwan was still a polytheist, and his heart was attached to this world and its pleasures. What amazed him was that someone like the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, who had next to nothing, could give this much. His generous giving convinced Safwan that the Prophet was unlike anyone he had seen or heard about. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was not seeking this world, and his generosity showed how little regard he held for it. This impressed Safwan. Everyone else, kings and powerful men, lived and died for this world except Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. Safwan received something he loved with this gift—plenty of livestock—but also received a dose of selflessness, generosity, love, and Iman. And this combination changed him. And it changed others too.
A man asked the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم for sheep [that filled the valley] between two mountains, and he gave it to him. So, he returned to his people and said, “My people, embrace Islam. By Allah, Muhammad gives like someone who does not fear poverty.”
Anas I said, “One would embrace Islam at first, only desiring this world. But as soon as they became Muslim, Islam would be dearer to them than this world and what it contains.”
Reported by Muslim (2312)
Gifts are the gateway to the heart. But they are not the end. When the hearts are clinging to the world, giving them the world removes their need and comforts them. Once they are satisfied, they can see the beauty behind the gift and the beauty of the giver. They move from the material to the spiritual. This is our transformation too. We love gifts because we love this world. But a gift has the power—with the right intention—to transport us into a higher realm.
Righteous giving
As right intentions inspire and bless giving, wrong motives contaminate it. Some give to show off their wealth and broadcast their generosity. Some do it to get something back: return gifts, favors, worldly advancement, and so on. Some reluctantly give out of embarrassment and social obligation. These are not good reasons to give since love is not the motive. Rather than promoting love, these gifts do the opposite: increase resentment and greed.
Gifting as worship—as done by the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم—is for the material benefit of the recipient, not the giver. Allah said:
And do not confer a favor expecting more in return.
Al-Muddaththir (Q74:6)
One of the common practices in Arabia was to give gifts to receive more favors and gifts. This defeats the purpose of giving. It turns the gift into an exercise in greed, a burden, and a cause for conflict. Thus, Allah forbade it in the Quran.
A gift is supposed to say to others that you value them more than money, that you are thinking about them, and that you love them. It is to assist them, to remove their hardship, to put a smile on their face, and to bring them closer to the love of Allah. It is an act of Ihsan that expects nothing in return except from Allah. So when you give, make it for Allah. And do not reduce your reward by demanding human appreciation and reciprocation.
The receiver should also remember that a gift—with the right intention—is an act of love. Someone voluntarily gifted you something: the goodwill in their heart moved them to do so. Appreciate it and do not belittle any gift of love. The Prophet
صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«O Muslim women, a woman should not look down on a gift she receives from her woman neighbor, even if it were a sheep’s hoof.»
Reported by al-Bukhari (2566) and Muslim (1030)
This is a very modest gift, with the least meat, and yet the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked us to appreciate it. It is not what you receive but the sentiment that matters: there is someone out there who loves Allah and loves you. If all we can see is the monetary value of the gift, then we have not yet escaped the material clutches of this world. A gift is a gesture to increase your love for Allah and the believers, not feed your greed and materialism. If you find yourself in the latter category, consistently give more gifts and charity until you find the sweetness of giving. And reward gift-givers with gifts. It is the Sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم used to accept gifts and give presents in return.
Reported by al-Bukhari (2585)
When done for Allah, receiving and rewarding a gift becomes a sweet act that brings about the love of Allah. It links human love to divine love: one leads to the other.
Following the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is essentially an act of love: we do it because we love him and we want Allah to love us. Practicing his Sunnah and spreading it should be the same: done with love and so people would love him.
Project
Find someone you love, and give them a gift for the sake of Allah.
DR. ALI ALBARGHOUTHI
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