HADITH THIRTY SIX: LOVING WHOM THE PROPHET LOVED
‘Amr ibn al-‘As asked, “O Messenger of Allah, which person do you love the most?” He صلى الله عليه وسلم asked, «Why?» He replied, “So I would love whom you love.” He answered, «‘A’ishah.» He asked, “From among the men?” He replied, «Abu Bakr.»
Reported by al-Tabarani in al-Mu‘jam al-Kabir (116) and Ibn Hibban (4540). Al-Albani declared it sahih (al-Ta‘liqat al-Hisan, 4523)
Commentary
Loving the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم naturally means loving whom and what he loved. This love unveils and guides to the best of this life and the next.
Seeking to love
Many of us turn cynical with all the hardship we see. We become convinced that there is little good left in the world and that all people are selfish and hurtful. And though there is indeed plenty of betrayal and ingratitude on earth—and we should protect ourselves from it—painting everyone with the same brush blinds us to the good that is still there. It deprives us of the beneficial company of the righteous. There are people out there who are still worthy of our love and kindness. We just have to find them. Not everyone out there will be worthy of our love. But some are. Do not give up.
When ‘Amr ibn al-‘As asked his question in the Hadith, he was seeking the people he should love, the ones most worthy of love. And there are none better than the ones that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loves. They are the best because the best loves them.
Each in this world is attracted to their ilk. Allah said in the Quran:
Evil [women, words, or deeds] are for evil men, and evil men are for evil [women, words, or deeds]. And good [women, words, or deeds] are for good men, and good men are for good [women,words, or deeds].
An-Nur (Q24:26)
Virtue seeks virtue, and evil seeks evil. Humans are attracted to what agrees with their nature. Since the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is the best of the best, his nature seeks and is comfortable with the best. Discovering his likes—and dislikes—grants us invaluable
insight. It is, therefore, of the utmost benefit for us to know this. Whom and what he loved leads us to Jannah. Consider the following hadith. Abu Dharr said:
My khalil commanded me to do seven things. To love the poor and be close to them. And he commanded me to look at who is below me [in worldly riches] and not to look at who is above me. And he commanded me to be kind to my kin even if they are not closely related [or even if they turn away from me]. And he commanded me not to ask anyone for anything. And he commanded me to speak the truth even if it is bitter. And he commanded me not to fear any criticism in the cause of Allah. And he commanded me to say La hawla wa quwwata illa bi Allah often, for it is from a treasure from underneath the Throne.
Reported by Ahmad (21415). Al-Albani declared it sahih (Sahih al-Targhib, 2525), and so did Shu‘ayb al-Arna’ut
If we love whom he loves, we would be close to the righteous, which helps us emulate them and learn from their wisdom. They would be the best companions, mentors, and friends. And if we love what he loved of food, places, and attire, we would be embracing the most healthful, honorable, and balanced lifestyle. His love unveils and leads to virtue.
Loving what the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loved brings us great benefits in this world and the Hereafter. It is also a natural consequence of loving Him. Whenever we love someone, we move closer to what they love. (This is why it is dangerous to love the wrong person.) We are naturally inclined to what brings happiness to our beloved. What they love also carries their imprint and evokes their memory, becoming an extension of them. It makes us smile whenever we see it. Just think of how much you love the things that make your beloved (parent, spouse, child, or dear friend) happy. Love is a canopy that covers whom we love and what they love. The Companions did not only love the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, but they loved what he loved too. Anas ibn Malik said:
A tailor invited the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم to a meal he prepared, and I went along with the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم to that meal. He presented to the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم barley bread and soup with gourd and cured meat in it. I saw the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم picking the gourd pieces from around the plate—and I have loved gourds ever since—so I collected the gourd pieces for him.
Reported by al-Bukhari (5439)
Anas loved the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم so much that he started loving gourd because of the Prophet’s love for it. And so would we if our love for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was strong enough: we would love what he loved. It is not really about loving a specific food he liked. But if he asked us to do something or to stay away from another, we would do it because we love him. If he practiced a Sunnah, we would imitate him without hesitation or delay. For instance, ‘A’ishah said:
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم liked to begin with the right in wearing his shoes, combing his hair, purification, and all of his affairs.
Reported by al-Bukhari (168) and Muslim (268)
Loving the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم would move us to behave like him, even in the smallest of details. His Sunnah (i.e. way of life) would become our way of life. We would not be asking if an act of worship he maintained is obligatory or voluntary, for love would blur those distinctions and propel us to the joy of companionship. It would not be a burden or a chore to follow him but a delight, for it would emotionally bring us closer to him. And as we get closer to him in this world, we get closer to him in the Hereafter. This is why we should strengthen our love for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. It is easier to follow him when you love him.
Following the Prophet and loving him form a loop. If we want to love him more, we must follow him. And when we do, our love for him will grow. When we practice what he taught, he will be close to us all the time. When we read his hadith, he would be talking to us all the time. When we adjust our lifestyle—in small and big issues—to live more like him, we would be inviting him into our lives and hearts. When we send Salah
and Salam for him, we become connected to him and he to us. Some understand loving the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as the mere repetition of nasheed on special occasions. But loving him is much more than what we sing; loving him is living his message and spreading it. We must love him enough for it to change us. If love does not change us at all, is it truly love?
Loving whom they love
Once love starts, it does not stop. It moves you to other loves. This is its nature. The Prophet’s love for his late wife Khadijah spread to the people she loved.
When the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم was given a gift, he would say, «Take it to so-and-so for she was a friend of Khadijah, take it to so-and-so for she used to love Khadijah.»
Reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad (232) and al-Albani declared it hasan (Sahih al-Adab al-Mufrad, 172).
This is why ‘A’ishah became jealous of Khadijah even though she never met her. She said:
I was never jealous of the wives of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as I was jealous of Khadijah, and I never met her. When the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم would slaughter a sheep, he would say, “Send some of it to the friends of Khadijah.” I upset him one day when I said, “Khadijah?” to which he said, «I was gifted her love.»
Reported by Muslim (2435)
Khadijah J held a special place in the heart of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. His spirit would be lifted when he was reminded of her. When Halah, Khadijah’s sister, came to visit the household of the Prophet, her voice and speech reminded him of Khadijah, and that comforted him (Muslim, 2437). When we love someone, our love extends to what they love. This is proof that our love is strong and true. And this is what makes the question of ‘Amr ibn al-‘As so important. You cannot love the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم without also loving whom and what he loved.
There is another narration of the Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim that explains when this incident took place and adds another name to the list of people that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loved the most.
‘Amr ibn al-‘As said that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم appointed him to command the army to Dhat al-Salasil. So, when I returned I asked him, “Whom do you love most?” He said, «‘A’ishah.» I asked, “From the men?” He replied, «Her father.» I asked, “Then whom?” He replied, «Then ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab.» And he enumerated other men.
Reported by al-Bukhari (3662) and Muslim (2384)
The Hadith of the chapter adds to this narration the important reason behind asking these questions. ‘Amr ibn al-‘As sought to know whom the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loved so he could love them too. This is the natural consequence of Iman and the dictate of wisdom. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم himself made the link between loving him and loving whom he loved.
When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم prayed, al-Hasan and al-Husayn would jump on his back when he prostrated. When they would attempt to stop them, he would signal to them to let them go. When he concluded his Salah, he put the two in his lap and said,
«Whoever loves me, let them love these two.»
Al-Albani declared it hasan (al-Silsilah al-Sahihah, 312)
He صلى الله عليه وسلم also said about them:
«O Allah I love them, so love them and love those who love them.»
Reported by al-Tirmidhi (3769) and al-Albani declared it hasan (Sahih al-Tirmidhi, 3769)
He صلى الله عليه وسلم said something similar about Usamah ibn Zayd.
«If someone loves me, they should love Usamah.»
Reported by Muslim (2942)
Loving the ones the Prophet loved is an extension of our love for him. If we love him, we would surely love the ones he urged us to love. But even if he did not ask, we would willingly love them because they were close to his heart. This is how the Companions were. They put him before themselves, and they put what he loved before what they did. The following story is weak because of its chain. But I wanted to share it with you because the sentiments it conveys are true nonetheless.
‘Umar assigned three thousand and five hundred [dirhams] as a stipend for Usamah and three thousand as a stipend for his son Abdullah. Abdullah asked, “Why did you give him more? By Allah, he did not get to any battle before me.” He replied, “It is because the Messenger of Allah loved his father more than yours, and the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم loved him more than you. So, I put the love of the Messenger of Allah before mine.”
Reported by al-Tirmidhi (3813) and al-Albani declared it weak (Da‘if al-Tirmidhi, 3813)
The incident may not have happened exactly as mentioned, and it may be missing some key details. But there is immense beauty in its last sentence, “I put the love of the Messenger of Allah before mine.” This is the desire of every Muslim. Loving the Prophet leads to more righteousness and liberates from personal weaknesses. Putting what he loved ahead of ours is how we escape the clutches of our desires and are transformed into servants of Allah. Doing this becomes easier when we are convinced that—because of his piety—what he loved is better than what we love. And if we love as he did, we will be happier and more content.
The virtue of Abu Bakr and his daughter
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is the closest person to Allah, and he loves the closest people to Allah. So, when he revealed that he loved ‘A’ishah and her father the most, he was announcing and confirming their excellence. Anyone who loves the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم must also love Abu Bakr and his daughter. Those who hate them stand in plain and direct opposition to the Prophet himself, choosing to oppose and hate the people he loved the most. And what does that say about the love they have for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم? You cannot claim to love him while hating his wife and his closest Companion.
Our love is the product of our Iman. Hating the Companions and those who championed the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is a sign of ignorance or weak Iman. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«The sign of Iman is loving the Ansar, and the sign of hypocrisy is hating the Ansar.»
Reported by al-Bukhari (17) and Muslim (74)
One would love the Ansar because they helped the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and the Migrants who were in desperate need of shelter and support. Hating them comes only from a heart that hates what they did, and this reveals hypocrisy. If this is the status of loving the Ansar, it is even more so with the Migrants and the Rightly Guided Caliphs. Hating Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, and ‘A’ishah is a clear sign of hypocrisy.
The virtue of Abu Bakr and his daughter was well established among early Muslims. Now, between the two, why did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم put ‘A’ishah before Abu Bakr? Al-Qurtubi wrote commenting on this:
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم first began with the love of ‘A’ishah because her love was [both] natural and religious, while other loves were religious and not natural. So, the natural [or original love] came before the newly acquired.
Al-Mufhim lima ‘Ashkal min Talkhis Kitab Muslim (vol. 6, p. 244)
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم had multiple reasons to love ‘A’ishah. She was his most beloved wife, very close and dear to his heart. She had an amazing personality, and she was outstandingly smart and kind. She was also very devout and exceptionally knowledgeable. He loved her for worldly and religious reasons.
Abu Bakr I outranks his daughter religiously. He is the best of this Ummah right after the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Even though the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loved him on a personal level, he had greater worldly love for his wife. The combination of the religious and worldly loves brought her closest to the Prophet’s heart. But on the religious side, there was no doubt that Abu Bakr deserved the greatest religious love and praise. The following hadith explains the uniqueness of Abu Bakr in Islam.
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم gave a speech from the minbar and said, «Allah gave someone the choice between giving him what he wished from the beauty of this life and what He had [for him], and he chose what He had [for him].» Abu Bakr cried and said, “We would sacrifice our fathers and mothers for you.” What he said surprised us, and people said, “Look at this elderly man! The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم spoke about someone whom Allah gave a choice between the beauty of this life and what He had [for him], and he said we would sacrifice our fathers and mothers for you!” But it was the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم who was given a choice, and Abu Bakr was the one who knew him best among us. The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «The most generous one with me in his companionship and wealth is Abu Bakr. If I were to take a khalil [i.e. dearest loved one] from my Ummah, I would take Abu Bakr. But he has the love of Islam. There should be no [personal] door leading to the masjid except the door of Abu Bakr.»
Reported by al-Bukhari (3904)
A khalil is the closest lover to the heart. Love at that stage penetrates the heart to such depths that it fills all of its crevices. It is as if that love soaks the entire heart. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم loved Allah to that degree, and Allah adopted him as a Khalil, like he did with Ibrahim. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«If I were to adopt a khalil, I would adopt Abu Bakr as a khalil. But he is my brother and companion. Allah has adopted your companion [i.e. the Prophet] as a Khalil.»
Reported by Muslim (2383)
When the love of Allah fills the heart, it leaves no space for another khalil. This is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم could not take any human khalil. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم could love other humans, and he did. But that comprehensive love, the greatest love of the heart, was reserved only for Allah. But if that space in the Prophet’s heart was not occupied, Abu Bakr would be the only one to fill it. This is how outstanding he was: to be the only human candidate who could fill that space and come that close to the heart of the greatest Messenger humanity ever knew.
Worldly love and religious love
We have seen so far how religious love interacts with worldly love. At times, they complement each other, while at other times they clash. And as long as the worldly (or personal) love is not forbidden and does not lead to a forbidden act, such love is permissible and natural. The following story explains this further. ‘A’ishah said:
Abu Bakr once said, “By Allah, there is no one on this earth that I love more than Umar.” When he left and came back, he asked, “What did I swear to, my daughter?” I told him what he said. He then said, “No, dearer to me. One’s child is closer to the heart.”
Reported by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad (84) and al-Albani declared it hasan (Sahih al-Adab al-Mufrad, 61)
‘Umar was the best person right after Abu Bakr. Abu Bakr’s Iman and piety created this intense love for ‘Umar. But no matter how strong our religious love for someone may grow, the worldly love we have for our spouses and children keeps them closest to our hearts. And there is no contradiction between the two loves. Each has different causes, and each can exist and grow independently of the other (i.e. we can love another personally but not religiously or religiously but not personally). Love is strongest, however, when both types of love combine, such as when we love our pious family members or personally like righteous friends. But as these loves can combine, they can
also clash and diverge. When our instinctual love—meaning what is embedded in our nature—pulls us away from Allah, our religious (acquired) love must be strong enough to favor Allah. This is what the following ayah is referring to. Allah said:
Say, “If your parents, children, siblings, spouses, your family, the wealth you collected, the business you fear its decline, and homes you cherish are more beloved to you than Allah, His Messenger, and Jihad in His sake, then wait until Allah brings His punishment.
At-Tawbah (Q9:24)
This is why we must strive to love Allah. If we do not, we will not have the strength to choose Him. The good news is that if we strive, we can reach the point where our love for Him can surpass loving our children and wealth, even loving ourselves. Our religious love has this power and this great potential. It just needs nurturing. And if we do, what happens next will amaze us.
DR. ALI ALBARGHOUTHI
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