HADITH FIVE : ALLAH LOVES GENTLENESS
HADITH FIVE : ALLAH LOVES GENTLENESS. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «Allah loves gentleness in all matters.»
Reported by al-Bukhari (7027) and Muslim (174)
And in another narration by Muslim (6766), «Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness. And He grants through gentleness what He does not grant through harshness or anything else.»
Commentary
One of the common misconceptions about God is that He is harsh. This assessment extends to religion and the religious, conceiving of each as demanding, judgmental, and unmerciful. Yet, this is not the character of God we encounter in Islam, and it is not the feature of the religion of Islam that He revealed.
Allah is Gentle
One of the names of Allah, as the hadith attests, is the Gentle (Al-Rafiq). This Gentleness encompasses all of creation, as His Mercy encompasses all. Allah has a myriad of Names that show His Care and Kindness for His creation. Another one is:
Allah is Latif with His servants.
Ash-Shuraa (Q42:19)
Al-Latif combines the meaning of profound kindness and subtlety. Allah recognizes the most subtle of things (e.g. what is in the hearts and all secrets) and delivers His decrees in the subtlest and the gentlest of ways (e.g. relief and victory coming unexpectedly).
We observe the Gentleness of Allah in His creation and revelation. Allah answers the supplication of the distressed and removes their hardship. When everyone turns their backs on us, Allah never closes His door. When no one wants to listen to us, Allah is always there, ready to remove our pain and restore our happiness. When no one has the time to help or does not care enough to help, Allah engulfs us with His mercy and rescues us from distress. When we experience a drought, He sends down the rain, reviving the land and our hope. Allah said:
And it is He who sends down the rain after they have lost hope and spreads His Mercy.
Ash-Shuraa (Q42:28)
Allah presented this as a living example of how He comes to our aid. He feeds us, quenches our thirst, and gives us shelter and security even when we disobey and upset Him. He multiplies the good we do by ten to seven hundred times and more, but sin is written as one and is erased once we repent. He created us for Heaven, prepared it for us, and sent Messengers and books to invite us to it. He keeps the door of repentance open until the last moment before our death.
We see evidence of Allah’s Gentleness even in times of hardship. It is because of hardship that we return to Allah and reassess our lives. It is because of hardship that we start to notice and appreciate the rest of Allah’s blessings. When we contemplate the extent of our difficulty, we realize that it could have been much worse, but Allah was Gentle. At the very moment of suffering, we feel Allah’s proximity and care when we call on Him from our hearts. We then know—not theoretically but practically and emotionally—that He is always there, and His door is always open. Hardship itself carries in it signs of His Care and Love.
Some complain about Allah when they experience loss. They see in life’s difficulties evidence of the Creator’s harshness. But they forget that what they lost was a gift from Allah: they had it in the first place because Allah gave it to them. They forget that Allah’s blessings are like a flood that never stops. At any point in time and even during dark times, we are enjoying innumerable blessings. In our distress and desperation, we tend to focus on the negative until it grows to occupy our entire world. But if we were to step back, we would see how minuscule it is compared to the blessings of Allah and what awaits us in the Hereafter.
Allah told us in His revelation that this life is a test. Anyone who has lived long enough—whether they believe in God or not—will attest to the difficulties of this life. But the question is, do these difficulties preclude Allah’s Mercy and Gentleness? The fact is that they are part of it. Allah is Infinite. Knowing Allah well requires experiences that include these tests: having to choose between right and wrong and the consequences that follow. How would one begin to comprehend the extent of Allah’s Forgiveness, Patience, and Mercy without sin and rebellion? How could we have a glimpse of the extent of His justice until we see how He treats those who oppose Him? How could we learn justice and forgiveness until we are faced with situations that demand them? This earthly journey is a gift from Allah. It allows us to grow, and it brings us closer to the Divine in ways that would not be possible otherwise.
Tests and hardship also mold us to be better humans. They teach us the meaning of loss and suffering. As a result, we set out determined to help others because we understand their pain. These challenges teach us compassion, mercy, altruism, humility, and many other virtues. This is learning through practice. We may think that we understand patience, forgiveness, and sacrifice—to give but a few examples—but theoretical knowledge is quite different from practical experience. It is through practice that we test (and improve) our character and gain a fuller understanding of virtue.
Those with insight and wisdom will detect in hardship salvation from worldly intoxication and attachments. As long as things are going well in our lives, we will stray away from Allah, running after the trivial in this world. It is an intoxication mightier than any other intoxication—hard to resist. If we lack the will and wisdom to wake up voluntarily, Allah sends us a problem. And when we encounter a difficulty, we wake up: we pause to reassess our life and run back to Allah.
When we know that Allah is Gentle, we will start seeing reflections of His Gentleness in everything around us. We will love Him and expect nothing but the best from Him. The following is a moving story about how knowing Allah well makes a world of difference.
Humayd reported saying: I had an ignorant nephew who got sick, so his mother sent for me and [when I came] she was next to his head crying. [My nephew] asked me, “Uncle, why is she crying?” I replied, “Because of your condition.” He asked, “Is she not doing it out of mercy?” I replied, “Yes.” He then said, “Allah is more Merciful to me than she is.” So when he died, I and another man lowered him into his grave, and as I was about to start placing the bricks [to seal the side grave], I looked in the side grave, and it was spacious as far as the eye could see. So I asked my companion, “Do you see what I see?” He replied, “Yes. Be happy about it!” So I suppose this was because of that statement [the boy] uttered [before his death]. Kitab al-Muhtadirin by Ibn Abi al-Dunya (p. 35)
He may have lived less than the ideal life, and may have done things that Allah hated. But what he had was a connection to Allah that refused to die or be diminished. He knew, nay he believed with all of his heart, that Allah is more merciful than his own mother. So, he met Allah with a heart full of faith and hope. And Allah wanted to honor him, and so He showed those two men a sign: a spacious grave indicative of Allah’s pleasure. This is how Gentle and Loving Allah is. We just have to believe.
Islamic Law
Contrary to what some believe, Islamic law is not difficult and restrictive. If Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, then the law He revealed will reflect this gentleness. We have seen in Hadith Three that Allah desires ease, not hardship. All the prohibitions in Islam are there to save and protect us, for everything that Allah prohibited is either harmful or leads to harm. And all that Allah obligated is necessary to establish a good and balanced life and edify us individually and collectively. All of Allah’s commands and prohibitions are within the capacity of the average individual. And with all that, Islamic law has an internal mechanism for ease. In cases of necessity and incapacity, exemptions kick in to allow prohibitions that cannot be avoided and reduce or drop obligations that are hard to perform. Allah loves it when we take advantage of His allowances and exemptions. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«Allah loves that His exemptions be followed as He hates for what He prohibited to be committed.»
Reported by Ahmad and al-Albani declared it sahih (Sahih al-Targhib, 1059). And in another narration, «Allah loves for His exemptions to be followed as He loves for His commands to be followed.» Reported by Ibn Hibban (3568) and al-Bayhaqi (5415) and in Sahih al-Targhib (1060)
Why does Allah love that His exemptions be taken advantage of as He loves following His commands and avoiding His prohibitions? First, they are all from Allah, and the exemptions are His gift to us. He also loves ease, and He wants us to be comfortable in our practice of Islam. In addition, our consistency in worship and love for it will be adversely affected if the exemptions were not followed. When changing circumstances introduce new burdens, regular practice becomes too difficult to maintain. If this burden is not alleviated, practitioners will naturally come to a point where they cannot continue and will develop negative feelings towards Allah’s command. So, in essence, the Law has to respond to people’s needs to survive, and this is what the ease of exemptions does.
This, of course, should not be subject to whim or convenience. It should be a genuine effort to realize the Will of Allah and maintain a righteous balance between revelation and reality.
Allah loves gentleness
Allah is so Gentle that He commands gentleness between people and loves those who embrace it. When we embrace gentleness, it turns everything beautiful. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
Gentleness adorns anything that it is added to, and blemishes anything it is removed from.
Reported by Muslim (2594)
Gentleness is the secret ingredient that enhances and beautifies everything it touches. It is the quickest key to people’s hearts. Teaching is far more effective with kindness, advice is more likely to be accepted, discussions are more fruitful, and relationships prosper. But when it is missing, our relationships suffer, our advice gets rejected, and our discussions turn into quarrels and fights. If we could only insert more gentleness into our words and actions, we and everyone around us would have better lives.
Gentleness is the quickest way to reach our objectives. Allah grants through it what would not be possible without it. Consider the following incident.
A group of Jews came to the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and said, “Assam [death] be upon you.” ‘A’ishah understood what they said and replied, “Death and curse be upon you.” So the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «Be patient, O A’ishah. Allah loves gentleness in all matters.» She said, “O Messenger of Allah, did you not hear what they said?” The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم replied, «I already said, “And upon you.”»
Reported by al-Bukhari (6024)
And in another narration:
A group of Jews came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said, “Assam [death] be upon you.” A’ishah replied, “Upon you and may Allah curse you and be angry with you.” The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, «Be patient, O A’ishah. Be gentle and beware of harshness and coarseness.» She said, “Did you not hear what they said?” He said, «Did you not hear what I said to them? I replied to what they said. What I said to them will be accepted and what they said to me will not.»
Reported by al-Bukhari (6024)
‘A’ishah J had every right to be angry. After all, this is a verbal attack on the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, who is also her husband. But even in response to this blatant insult, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did not condone harsh words or actions. His reply, “And upon you,” was sufficient: if you had uttered virtue, then may that be for you; and if you chose foul language, that should return to you. This is justice. He handled their insults in the gentlest way so as not to antagonize them any further, not to give them an excuse to reject the truth, and for them to witness nobility and magnanimity firsthand. Perhaps this could change their hearts. Kindness is transformative. And if it does not convince them to embrace Islam, at least it stops further escalation of evil. He صلى الله عليه وسلم did not have to overpower his opponent in every verbal exchange; he was confident in Allah’s power that he could leave matters for Him to settle. Power is not in overpowering our opponents. He صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«The powerful is not the one who overpowers people with his physical strength but the one who controls himself when angry.»
Reported by al-Bukhari (6114) and Muslim (2609)
What is even greater than withholding our anger is to receive insult with kindness, as he used to do .صلى الله عليه وسلم
We, at times, seem to be lacking gentleness and kindness in our discussions and exchanges. Once we disagree with someone, we turn the issue into personal attacks and vendetta. We complicate the disagreement with harsh words, mockery, ad hominem attacks, belittling opponents, challenging motives and intentions, exaggerating mistakes, and backing the other into a corner. Our goal becomes winning at any cost and defeating the other by any means. But harsh words and insults are not the keys to a solution. The key, as the hadith affirms, is gentleness. It is through it that people feel respected enough to review their stance and arguments. Should this not be our goal? If we intend to reach a person’s heart so they can change, we have to be gentle. Harshness will only push others to dig in their heels out of indignity and self-defense. This is why the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«Whoever is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good.»
Reported by Muslim (2592)
The harsh corrupt more than help, even if they happen to be preaching the truth. It is the gentle who change people and society, and it is they who earn people’s love. Gentleness should find a permanent home in our households. Our family relations and interactions should be based on gentle words and acts, forgiveness, and support. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
«If Allah loves a household, He bestows gentleness upon them.»
Al-Albani declared it sahih (Sahih al-Jami‘, 1704)
We want Allah to love us and to bless our homes. Kindness will do all that. Be gentle, and Allah will love you.
DR. ALI ALBARGHOUTHI
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