CHAPTER TWO : CHILDREN – PART 3
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, guided his daughters to the best of this life and the next:
‘Ali narrated: “Faatimah complained about the effect on her hands from using the mill, so she came to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to ask him for a servant girl. She did not find him, but she mentioned it to ‘Aa’ishah, who mentioned it to him when he came home.”
‘Ali continued, “So he came to us when we had gone to bed. We were going to stand up, but he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told us: “Stay in your places.” Then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sat between us, until I felt the coldness of his feet on my chest. Then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Should I not guide you two to what is better for you than a servant? When you go to bed, then say Allahu Akbar 34 times [Allah is The Greatest], Subhanallah 33 times [Glory be to Allah], and Alhamdulillaah 33 times [Praise be to Allah]. This is better for you than a servant.”” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (3705) and Muslim (2727).)
The reason the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not give them a servant is that he chose to donate whatever came to him to the poor people of the Suffah, and he was of the view that patience was better for his family because it is greater in reward.
It also shows the gentleness used in dealing with one’s daughter and her husband, as he did not ask them to get up when he came to them and left them to stay in bed. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, even sat between them, and taught them what was better than the servant they had asked for. This is a method of teaching a person what is better than what they had asked for, showing them that preparing for the next life, having patience and not being deceived by this worldly life, is more important than what they were seeking. (Fat-h Al-Baari (124/11).)
He also taught her another supplication that would be better for her than a servant. Abu Hurayrah (a Companion) narrated that Faatimah came to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asking for a servant. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told her to say: “O Allah, Lord of the seven heavens, and Lord of the Earth, and Lord of the mighty throne. Our Lord, and the Lord of all things: The one who splits the seed and the date seed, and revealed the Torah, the gospel, and the Quran: I seek refuge in you from the evil of everything that you have taken by his forelock. O Allah, You are Al-Awwal [The First] so there is nothing before You, and You are Al-Aakhir [The Last] so there is nothing after You. You are Ath-Thaahir [The highest] so there is nothing above You, and You are Al-Baatin [aware of the subtlest secrets] so there is nothing closer than You. Settle our debt for us and enrich us from poverty.” (Reported by Muslim (2713).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, advised Faatimah to take responsibility for her actions:
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told her: “O Fatimah, rescue yourself from Hellfire, for I cannot save you from Allah.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (2753) and Muslim (204) on the authority of Abu Hurayrah.)
The wording of this narration as reported by Al-Bukhaari is: “O Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad! Ask whatever you want of my wealth, [but] I cannot save you from Allah.”
Meaning: do not depend on your noble lineage, for I cannot protect you from any harm that Allah intends for you (as a result of your action). (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (80/3).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, ordered her to perform night prayers:
‘Ali ibn Abu Taalib narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came to him and Faatimah one night, and he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked them: “Do you two not pray (at night)?” ‘Ali replied, “O Messenger of Allah, our souls are in the Hands of Allah, when he wishes to make us wake up, he will do so.” The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, left when I said that, and did not reply to me. Then I heard him when he was leaving, hitting his thigh and saying (what means): «But man has ever been, most of anything, [prone to] dispute.» [Quran: 18:54] (Reported by Al-Bukhari (1127) and Muslim (775).)
Ibn Hajar said: “Ibn Battaal said: “This indicates the virtue of praying at night, and waking up one’s family if they are sleeping for that. If the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had not known of the great reward of night prayers, he would not have bothered his daughter and cousin at a time of sleep. However, he chose that virtue for them over laziness, following the command of Allah (which means): «And order your family with prayer.» [Quran: 20:132]” (Fat-h Al-Baari (11/3).)
Ibn Battaal (a scholar) said: “His statement: ‘Then I heard him when he was leaving, hitting his thigh’ was because of the Prophet’s surprise at ‘Ali’s quick reply, and his disagreement with the excuse that he made. He did not like the excuse because he used predestination to leave off a responsibility, which is unacceptable. However, since the night prayers are only recommended and not obligatory, the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, simply left and said the verse, but if it had been an obligatory matter he would not have left without them performing it.” (The explanation of Ibn Battaal on the book of Al-Bukhaari (1156/3) and Haashiyat As-Sindi (205/3).)
From his guidance with his daughters is that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would try to cheer them up:
‘Aa’ishah narrated: “Faatimah came walking one day, and she walked like the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Welcome, my daughter.” Then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sat her down on his right or left, and whispered to her, so she cried. Then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, whispered to her again and she smiled.”
‘Aa’ishah continued, “I have never seen happiness so soon after sadness and I asked her what he said. Faatimah replied, ‘I cannot reveal the secret of the Messenger of Allah.’ After the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, died, I asked her again. She said: ‘He first told me: “Gabriel used to read the Quran with me once every year, and he read it with me twice this year. I think that means my time is near, and you will be the first of my family to follow me.” When I cried, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, whispered to me: “Are you not pleased to be the leader of the women of Paradise, or the believing women?” I smiled when he said that.’” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (2624).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to maintain his relations by giving her gifts:
‘Ali ibn Abu Taalib said: “The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave me an outfit made of silk, so I came out wearing it. The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “O Ali, I did not give this to you for you to wear! Make it into head covers for Fatimah.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (2614), Muslim (2071) and Ahmad (712).)
An-Nawawi (a scholar) said: “The plural of Faatimah refers to: Faatimah the daughter of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, ‘Ali’s mother Fatimah bint Asad, and Faatimah the daughter of (his uncle) Hamzah.” (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (51/14).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to console his daughters and teach them patience:
Usaamah ibn Zayd (a Companion) narrated that the Prophet’s daughter sent for him, saying that one of her sons was near death, and asking him to come to them. The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sent a message to her giving her greetings, and saying: “To Allah belongs what He has taken, and to Him belongs what He gives. Everything has a specified term, so let her be patient and seek the reward from Allah.”
At this, she sent back to him asking him by Allah to come to her. The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, stood up, and with him were Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah, Mu’adh ibn Jabal, Ubayy ibn Ka’b, Zayd ibn Thaabit, and others. The child was lifted to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he (the boy) made a sound as if water was poured into an empty container, so the Prophet’s eyes filled with tears.
Sa’d was surprised (to see him cry), and said: “O Messenger of Allah, what is this!” The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “This is mercy, Allah places it in the hearts of whomsoever He wishes of His slaves. For Allah only has mercy upon the merciful ones from His slaves.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (1238) and Muslim (923).)
An-Nawawi said:
“The words: “To Allah belongs what He has taken, and to Him belongs what He gives. Everything has a specified term” was a way of encouraging her to have patience and submit to the decree of Allah. The meaning of it is that whatever Allah gave you belongs to Him, not you. Thus, He only took what belonged to Him originally. So one should not despair and become disconsolate, just as if he was asked to return something he borrowed.
The words: “To Him belongs what He gives” means that whatever Allah gives you is still part of His kingdom, and He has the right to do with it what He wishes.
The words: ‘The Prophet’s eyes filled with tears. Sa’d said: “O Messenger of Allah, what it this!”’ Sa’d said this because he thought that any kind of crying was not lawful, and he thought that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had forgotten this,
so he reminded him. However, the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, informed him that merely crying is not impermissible or disliked, rather it is a mercy and virtue. The act that is impermissible is wailing loudly while crying.” (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (225/6).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would become sad at the death of his sons and daughters:
A person who is tested with the loss of a child should know that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, lost all of his children during his life, except for Faatimah who died after him.
From his guidance is that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, became sad at their passing away and shed tears, but he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would not say anything except that which pleases Allah.
Anas ibn Maalik narrated that when the Prophet’s daughter Umm Kulthoom died, he saw the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sitting by the grave and he saw tears in his eyes. (Reported by Al-Bukhari (1285).)
These were not the tears of despair or anger at the decree of Allah. They were only tears of mercy and sadness that come from the eye of a merciful person.
Anas ibn Maalik said: “We entered upon Abu Sayf, the blacksmith, whose wife would breastfeed Ibraaheem, the son of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and the Prophet of Allah took Ibraaheem and kissed and smelled him. Then we entered upon him after that while Ibraaheem was dying and the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, started crying.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (1285).)
Abdur-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (a Companion) said: “Even you, O Messenger of Allah!” So he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “O Ibn ‘Awf! It is mercy.” Then he followed it with another one (i.e. another tear after the first one.) He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved, but we do not say except what pleases our Lord. We are saddened by your departure, O Ibraaheem.”
Anas ibn Maalik said: “I have not seen anyone more merciful with children than the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.”
He also said: “Ibraaheem was breastfed in the area of Al-‘Awali in Madinah and the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would go to him and enter the house. The house would be filled with smoke (since the house owner was a blacksmith), so I would hurry to enter before the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and say: “Abu Sayf, the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, has come, stop!” The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would then take Ibraaheem and kiss him, then leave.”
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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