CHAPTER 8: FORBIDDEN MARRIAGES (2)
Aishah’s Hadith
‘A’ishah mentioned some forms of marriage that were common duringJahiliyyah times. ‘Urwah Bin az-Zubayr reported that ‘Aishah told him that, during Jahiliyyah, marriage was of four different types:
1. The first was like the people’s marriages today, whereupon a man would ask for another man’s daughter or woman under his custody He would give her a sadaq and marry her.
2. The second was that a man would tell his wife, after she is clean from menses, ‘Invite so and so, and get impregnated by him ‘ Her husband would stay away from her and avoid touching her until it became clear if she was pregnant from the other man. If she became pregnant, her husband would have intercourse with her if he wished. They only did that seeking a noble descent for the child.
3. The third was a group of men, less than ten in total, who would all go to a woman and perform intercourse with her. If she became pregnant, she would wait until she delivered the child. A few nights later, she would summon all of them and none of them may refuse to go to her. When they arrive, she would say, “You know what you have done; and I have given birth, so this child is yours, O so-and-so.” Thus she names whomever she wishes of them, and that man may not refuse annexing that child to him.
4. The fourth was that a large number of men would go to one woman, and she would not reject anyone who came to her. Those were the prostitutes who raised over their doors flags as signs for those who wished to go to them. And if one of them became pregnant, she would wait until she delivered, summon all the men who had intercourse with her, and have those who specialized in detecting likeness determine the man whom the child resembled the most so as to appendix to him; and he would not have the option to refuse that.
Aishah concluded:
“So after Muhammad (pbuh) came with the Truth . he revoked all forms of Jahiliyyah marriages – except tor the marriage of the people today.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Abu Dawud.)
The second, third and fourth forms of marriage mentioned in this hadith are all clearly prohibited, and will be briefly discussed below.
PARTIALLY OPEN MARRIAGE
This is the second type in the above hadith. A man would urge his wife to have intercourse with another man who is distinguished with courage, nobleness, etc. His purpose is to have her bear a child carrying some noble qualities from that man. Needless to say, this is outright zina, and a man who does it is clearly a dayyuth.
Marriage of a Group
This is the third type in the above hadith. A number of men would all be “married” to the same woman and simultaneously have intercourse with her. That represents a clear degeneracy and deviation from the pure human nature and values. It further shows how disgraced and despised women were before Islam.
Public Prostitution
The fourth type in the above hadlth is a form of public prostitution. A woman would have a clear sign on her house indicating that she welcomes any man who wishes to have her for a brief period of time, in exchange for an agreed pay. Unfortunately, that kind of multiple “marriage” or “profession” is still practiced in most of the so-called “civilized” nations of our time.
Other Prohibited Marriages
There are other forms of marriage that were practiced during Jahiliyyah or the early years of Islam, but were subsequently prohibited. Among them are the following.
Marriage of Mutah
The mutah (enjoyment) marriage is a temporary marriage. Its duration is specified at the time that the contract is executed. At the end of the term, the two spouses leave each other without divorce. Furthermore, the two partners do not inherit from each other.
This type of marriage was common during Jahiliyyah. Its purpose was to merely fulfill a physical need for the man. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) permitted it for some time, and finally prohibited it permanently.
Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Mut’ah has been abolished by marriage, divorce, iddah, and inheritances.” (Recorded by Ibn Hibban, ad-Daraqutni. and al-Bayhaqi. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 7022 & as-Sahihah no. 2402).)
The ‘ulama’ differ as to whether the mut’ah marriage was prohibited during the fight of Khaybar or the Conquest of Makkah. The latter position appears to be stronger, and is adopted by most of the ‘ulama’.
Sabrah Bin Ma’bid reported that at the time of the Conquest of Makkah, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“O people! I had previously permitted you to have women by way of mutah. But indeed, Allah has now prohibited that until the Day of Resurrection. Thus, anyone who has any such women should let them go, and do not take any of what you gave them.” (Recorded by Muslim and Ibn Majah.)
Sabrah also reported:
“On the year of the Conquest, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) permitted us to enjoy women (with mutah) as we were entering Makkah. But he later prohibited it for us — even before we left Makkah.” (Recorded by Muslim, Ahmad, and al-Bayhaqi.)
Ibn ‘Abbas did not know that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) prohibited the mutah marriage, so ‘Ali reproached him and said to him:
“Indeed, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) prohibited enjoying women (mutah) on the day of Khaybar, and he prohibited eating the ordinary donkeys (contrary to zebras). (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. )
Marriage of Tahlil
If a man divorces his wife three times, he may not take her back unless she first marries another man.(Check al-Baqarah 2:229.) If the second husband divorces her she may then marry the first husband.
The woman must have intercourse with the second husband before she becomes permissible to the first husband (if the second husband willingly divorces her).
Ibn ‘Umar reported that a case was presented to Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) as follows, “A man divorced his wife three times Another man then married her, closed the doors, and dropped the curtains (i.e., he had full privacy with her), but divorced her without performing intercourse with her. Would that make her permissible to the first husband?” He (pbuh) replied:
“She does not become permissible for the first (husband) until the second performs intercourse with her.” (Recorded by an-Nasa’i, Ahmad, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani(Sahih ul-Jami no. 7253 & Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1887).)
Similarly, ‘A’ishah, Anas, and ‘Ubayd Ullah Bin ‘Abbas reported that Rufa’ah al-Qarzi divorced his wife three times, after which she married ‘Abd ur-Rahman Bin az-Zubayr. But she did not allow him to approach her and came to the Prophet (&) claiming that he was impotent, and she requested divorce. ‘Abd ur-Rahman refuted this, saying that she actually wanted to go back to her first husband Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) then told her that this may not happen unless she had intercourse with the second husband. (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. Review Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1997 for the various reports of this hadith.)
In order to overcome this restriction, some people apply a trick to make it possible for the woman to go back to her husband. Another man (called muhill or muhallil) would marry her, and include a condition in the marriage contract that, as soon as he copulates with her, their marriage becomes terminated. This is a form of mut’ah marriage, because it includes the temporary factor. In addition, it represents a clear defiance to Allah’s commands and instructions. Because of this, it deserved Allah’s curse.
‘Ali Bin Abi Talib, ‘Abdullah Bin Masud, and Jabir Bin ‘Abdillah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Allah curses the one who performs tahlil, and the one for whom it Is performed.” (Recorded by Ahmad, an-Nasa’i, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1897 & Sahih ul-Jami no. 5101).)
‘Uqbah Bin ‘Amir reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Shouldn’t I tell you about the borrowed billy goat? It is a person who performs tahlil. May Allah curse the one who performs tahltt, and the one for whom it is performed.” (Recorded by Ibn Majah, al-Hakim, and al-Bayhaqi. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani(Sahih ul-Jami no. 2596 & Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1897).)
Naff reported that a man said to Ibn ‘Umar, “Is it permissible for me to marry a woman to make her lawful for her (previous husband, even though he did not ask me to do it, and I did it without his knowledge.” He replied:
“No! The marriage should only be based on real interest: if you like her you keep her, and if you dislike her you divorce her. We indeed used to consider this (tahM) as zind during Allah’s Messenger’s (pbuh) time. And those who do it will continue to be in a state of zind, if his intention was to make her lawful to the other man, even if they stay together for twenty years!” (Recorded by al-Hakim, al-Bayhaqi, and at-Tabarani. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1898).)
Marriage of Shighar
Shighar is a process whereby two men inter-marry each others’ daughters or women under their custody without either one giving a mahr. Nafi explained:
“Shighar is that a man would marry his daughter to another man with the condition that the other man would marry him his daughter. And they would not require any mahr in between them.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. )
Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet (pbuh) prohibited shighar marriages (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.) and said:
“No shighar (is permissible) in Islam.” (Recorded by Muslim and others.)
Even when dowries are specified, this inter-marriage remains as a source of doubt that should be avoided.
Al-A’raj reported that al-‘Abbas Bin ‘Abdillah Bin ‘Abbas gave his daughter in marriage to ‘Abd ur-Rahman Bin al-Hakam, and ‘Abd ur-Rahman gave his daughter to him in marriage, and they named some mains. Yet, Mu’awiyah (who was the khalifah then) wrote to Marwan Bin al-Hakam commanding him to separate between them and saying:
“This is the shighar marriage that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) prohibited.” (Recorded by Ahmad, Abu Dawud and Ibn Hibban. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1896).)
Marriage with the Intention of Divorce
Some men may marry a woman for a specific purpose, intending within themselves to divorce her as soon as that purpose is accomplished. An example of this is a common practice in some Western countries where a foreigner marries a native woman in order to obtain residency in her country, planning to divorce her as soon as he achieves his goal.
If the marriage contract sets a term for this kind of marriage it becomes a prohibited form of mutah marriage. If it does not, the majority of ulama consider that this marriage is valid but the man sinful because he deceives the woman by hiding his initial intention from her.
Marrying Non-Muslims
General Rule
Allah(swt) prohibited marriage with the mushriks, males and females:
“And do not marry pagan women until they believe (in Allah alone). Indeed, a believing female slave (of Allah) is better than a pagan, even though she (the pagan) might appeal to you. And do not marry pagan men until they believe. Indeed, a believing male slave (of Allah) is better than a pagan, even though he might appeal to you. Those (mushriks) invite (you) to the Fire, whereas Allah invites to Jannah and to forgiveness, by His permissions.” (Al-Baqarah 2:221.)
Every non-Muslim is a mushrik. This includes the People of the Scripture (the Jews and Christians) if they worship anyone besides Allah (like Jesus or ‘Uzayr) or hold other wrong beliefs about Allah (swt).
Exception to the Rule
Allah (swt) made exception to the above rule by permitting Muslim men to marry Jewish and Christian women — with an important condition: they must be chaste, which means that they are not promiscuous and have not previously had illegitimate sexual relationships with men. Allah (swt) says:
“This day all good foods have been made lawful for you; and the food of those who have been given the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them; and (lawful for you for marriage are) chaste believing women and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you — when you have given them their due compensation — desiring by that chastity, not illicit relationship or taking secret lovers. And whoever denies the faith — his deeds have surely become worthless, and he will be, in the Hereafter, among the losers.” (Al-Maidah 5:5.)
Who “the People of the Book” Are
Some of the companions took the position that the above permission only applied to the “unitarian” People of the Book. They argued in regard to a Trinitarian Christian woman, “What form of shirk is worse than her claim that her Lord is Jesus?” For example, ‘Ali said:
“The Arab Christians’ slaughtering may not be eaten, because they do not hold to (true) Christianity —besides drinking alcohol.” ( Recorded by ‘Abd ur-Razzak and al-Bayhaqi. Verified to be authentic by Mustafa al-Adawi (Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:125))
On the other hand, ‘Umar was asked whether it was lawful to eat from the slaughtered meat of a group of Jews who read the Torah and observed the Sabbath but do not believe in resurrection. He said:
“They are a group from the People of the Book.” (Recorded by ‘Abd ur-Razzak and al-Bayhaqi. Verified to be authentic by Mustafa al-Adawi (Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:126).)
Ibn ‘Abbas said:
“Eat from the slaughtering of the Taghlib (An Arab Christian tribe.) and marry their women.” (Recorded by Ibn Abi Shaybah. Verified to be authentic by Mustafa al-‘Adawi (Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:126).)
Az-Zuhri was asked about the slaughtering of the Arab Christians. He replied that it was lawful, and said:
“Whoever embraces a religion is considered one of its people.” (Recorded by ‘Abd ur-Razzak. Verified to be authentic by Mustafa al-‘Adawi (Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:127).)
Ash-Sha’bi said in answer to a similar question:
“Allah has made their slaughtering lawful, and your Lord is never forgetful.” (Recorded by ‘Abd ur-Razzak. Verified to be authentic by Mustafa al-‘Adawi (Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:127).)
There are many other similar authentic reports from the salaf considering that the Christians and Jews are from “the People of the Book” regardless of their beliefs. This appears to be the stronger of the two opinions. ( Review Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:122-128.)
A Difficult Condition
The condition of “chastity” does not usually hold in our time. A chaste woman is one who has been preserved within her house like a jewel, never having been involved in kissing, touching, petting, or any form of promiscuous relationships with men other than her husband.
A non-Muslim woman has no faith that would prevent her from committing the sin. Added to that is today’s open Western culture that has permitted zina with the approval and encouragement of the parents and relatives. It is seldom to find a girl pass her teenage years without being involved in sexual relationships. Virginity is now a rarity among Westerners.
Some people may ask, “What if a Christian woman repented from her former promiscuous behavior? Would it then be permissible to marry her?” The answer is that repentance is an act of worship specific to the Muslims. Its first condition is ikhlas (sincerity) to Allah. How could a non-Muslim fulfill this? Her only repentance, then, is by embracing Islam (for the sake of Allah, and not for marriage).
Even at the peak of the Islamic power and dominance, ‘Umar was against marrying from the People of the Book. Abu Wail reported that Huthayfah married a Jewish woman. ‘Umar wrote to him, “Divorce her.” He wrote back, “If this is unlawful, I will divorce her.” Umar wrote:
“I do not claim that it is unlawful, but 1 fear that you (Muslims) will soon partake of Aeir whores (if everyone takes this matter lightly).” (Recorded by al-Bayhaqi and Said Bin Mansur. Verified to be authentic by Mustafa al-‘Adawi (Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:122).)
Jabir was asked about marrying Jewish and Christian women. He replied:
“We used to marry them during the times of fighting when we were with Sad Bin AbT Waqqas in al-Kufah. That was because we could then hardly find any Muslim women. But when we came back (from the fights), we divorced them.” (Recorded by ash-Shafi’i (in al-Umm) and al-Bayhaqi. Verified to be authentic by Mustafa al-‘Adawi (Jami’u Ahkam in-Nisa 3:124).)
Conclusion
In our times, the Muslims are weak and have the lower hand, even in their own countries. If one marries a non-Muslim woman, he will not be able to enforce an Islamic environment in his own house. He will see her wear the cross, pray to Jesus, eat pork, and raise his children upon disbelief. This, by itself, is a major act of disobedience that he would bring about for himself and his own offspring. What sin is greater than this sin? This alone is a sufficient reason for the prohibition of such marriages under the current circumstances.
The excuse that some people give, “This marriage is better than committing zina„” is absurd. First, such a marriage is not permissible to start with. Second, its outcome is worse than the worst outcome of zina.
Therefore, young men should fear Allah and only marry Muslim women who will be good companions for them in this life and would help raise their children upon Islam.
By MUHAMMAD MUSTAFA AL-JIBALI
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