CHAPTER 6: THE WALIMAH (1)
Definition and Ruling
The walimah (or wedding feast) is a meal offered by the husband to the friends and family after the consummation of marriage.
The walimah is wajib (obligatory) upon the husband. Buraydah Bin al-Hasib reported that when ‘Ali married Fatimah, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Indeed, a wedding (or a bridegroom) must have a walimah.”
So Sa’d said, “I will bring a ram.” And another man said, “I will bring some corn.” (Recorded by Ahmad and an-Nasai. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 2419 & Adab uz-Zifaf pp. 144-145).)
When ‘Abd ur-Rahman Bin ‘Awf migrated to al-Madmah, the Prophet (pbuh) made him brother (In the early years of Hijrah, the Prophet (pbuh) paired the Muslims as brothers, with one of the pair from the Muhajinn and one from the Ansar, The Ansar, being the original residents of al-Madinah, were ready and willing to accommodate their brothers from Makkah who had left everything behind them when they made Hijrah) with Sa’d Bin ar-Rabf al-Ansari. Sa’d told ‘Abd ur-Rahman, “My brother! I am the wealthiest man of al-Madinah, so I will divide my wealth in half between us; and I have two wives while you, my brother, have none; so see which of them you prefer: I will divorce her for you to marry after she concludes her ‘iddah” ‘Abd ur-Rahman replied, “By Allah no! May Allah bless your family and wealth for you. Just show me the way to the market.” Thus, he went to the market, traded, and soon made profit and brought home some aqit (dried yogurt) and butter.
A while after that, the Prophet (pbuh) saw ‘Abd ur-Rahman wearing yellowish garments (which were commonly worn by the newlywed). He (pbuh) asked him, “What has happened?” He replied, “I have married a woman from the Ansar.” He (pbuh) asked him, “What did you give her (as mahr)?” He replied, “A date stone’s weight of gold.” The Prophet (pbuh) then said:
“May Allah bless it for you. Offer a walimah — even if it is with only one goat.”
‘Abd ur-Rahman later said, “It then came to that, should I raise a stone, I would expect to find gold or silver underneath it (by virtue of the Prophet’s (pbuh) supplication).” And Anas, the narrator of this hadith, concluded, “After ‘Abd ur-Rahman passed away, each one of his wives got a share of one-hundred-thousand dinars.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Regulations and Recommendations
The following additional regulations apply to the walimah:
The Walimah’s Time
Following the Prophet’s (pbuh) practice, the walimah should normally be held on the wedding night or within the first three days following it.
Anas reported:
“Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) once consummated his marriage with one of his wives, so he sent me and I invited some men for food.” ( Recorded by al-Bukhari and al-Bayhaqi.)
Anas also reported:
“When the Prophet (pbuh) married Safiyyah, her freedom was her mahr. And he held the walimah for three days.” (Recorded by Abu Ya’la. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Adab uz-Zifaf p. 146).)
In a similar report, Anas said:
“The Prophet (pbuh) camped between Khaybar and al- Madinah for three nights, consummating his marriage with Safiyyah. I invited the Muslims to his walimah, which had no bread or meat. Leather sheets were spread on the ground, dates and aqit (dried yogurt) and butter were tossed over them, and the people ate their fill.”(Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
And Anas reported:
“When Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) had his wedding with Zaynab, he offered a walimah in which the Muslims ate their fill of bread and meat. Then (in the morning) he went out to the Mothers of the Believers, gave them salam, and supplicated for them. In return, they gave him salam and supplicated for him. This was his practice on the morning following his wedding.” (Recorded by an-Nasa’i and Ibn Sa’d. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Adab uz-Zifaf pp. 137-138).)
Types of Food
We conclude from the above reports about ‘Ali and ‘Abd ur-Rahman Bm ‘Awf that it is recommended to include meat in a walimah, with a minimum of one sheep or goat — if that be affordable.
Anas reported:
“I never saw Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) offer as much food in any of his wives’s walimahs as he did in Zaynab’s. He slaughtered a goat and fed the people bread and meat until they were full.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
However, meat is not a condition for a walimah. We saw above (and will see again below) that the Prophet’s (pbuh) walimah when he married Safiyyah did not include any meat.
Helping with the Cost
The walimah is the husband’s obligation. However, it is permissible for other Muslims to help him in its cost or preparation. We have seen above that a number of Muslims helped ‘Ali in preparing his walimah.
Similarly, giving additional details of the Prophet’s (pbuh) marriage with Safiyyah, Anas reported that during the trip back to al-Madinah, Umm Sulaym prepared Safiyyah for the Prophet (pbuh) and presented her to him during the night. On the morning following his consummation of the marriage, he (pbuh) said:
“Anyone who has extra provision, bring it to us.”
Thus, people brought aqit, dates, and butter, and made hays (name of a dish) with them, and everyone ate of that hays and drank from rain water that gathered in basins next to them. (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Whom to Invite
A newlywed should invite to the walimah his Muslim relatives, friends, and acquaintances, especially the righteous among them. Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Do not accompany except a believer, and do not feed your food except to a pious person.”
Sinful individuals and non-Muslims should largely be excluded from the invitation — unless there is an important benefit in inviting them, such as exposing them to da’wah, provided that their presence would not influence the attendees in a negative way.
In inviting a walimah, there should not be a distinction between the poor and rich. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Messenger (pbuh) said:
“The worst food is that of a walimah to which the rich are invited but the poor are not. And he who rejects the invitation (to a walimah) has surely disobeyed Allah and His Messenger.) ” (Recorded by Muslim and others from Abu Hurayrah, Ibn ‘Abbas, and Ibn ‘Umar. Some of the reports in al-Bukhari and Muslim indicate that this is mawquf, being the saying of Abu Hurayrah. But other authentic reports prove that it is stated by the Prophet (S) (see Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 1947 and as-Sahihah no. 108)
In another report from Abu Hurayrah, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“The worst of food is that of a walimah to which those who come (because of hunger) are turned away, and those who are invited do not wish to attend (because they have no need for food). And he who does not answer the invitation (to a walimah) has surely disobeyed Allah and His Messenger.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others. See the previous footnote.)
Manners for the Host
There are certain etiquettes that should be implemented by a host when he invites people to a wedding walimah or any other meal. Some of them have been included in the previous section. In what follows we include some additional important ones.
Sincerity
One should realize and remember that feeding is an act of worship. Thus it should be performed with sincerity — only seeking Allah’s reward for it.
‘Abdullah Bin ‘Amr Bin al-‘As reported that a man asked Allah’s Messenger (pbuh), “Which acts are superior in Islam?” He (pbuh) replied:
“They are: feeding the food, and greeting with salam those whom you know and whom you do not.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Suhayb reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“The best among you are those who feed the food (to others) and respond to the salam.” (Recorded by Ahmad, al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 3318).)
Avoiding Extravagance and Show-off
Some people like to impress others about their wealth and status by holding extravagant banquets and receptions in expensive hotels, and by offering costly food and services that are often beyond their means and are extremely straining to their resources for a long time to follow.
This is prohibited in Islam. It reflects an imitation of Satan as Allah (swt) says:
“Do not waste your wealth senselessly. Those who spend wastefully are the brothers of the devils; and the Devil is ever ungrateful to his Lord.” (Al-Isra 17:26-27.)
And Allah (swt) says:
“Eat and drink, but do not be excessive; verily, He does not like the extravagant.” (Al-A’raf 7:31.)
Al-Mughirah Bin Shu’bah reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Allah verily hates three qualities for you: gossiping, wasting money, and begging.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Jundub Bin ‘Abdillah and Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Whoever does things for others to hear, Allah will make people hear about his sins (on Judgment Day). And whoever does things for others to see, Allah will show his sins to others (on Judgment Day).” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Once two men visited Salman. Salman brought before them bread and salt, which was all that he had at home, and said:
“Had Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) not prohibited us from being excessive in what we offer to our guests, we would have burdened ourselves for your sake.” (Recorded by Ahmad, al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani ((Irwa ‘ul-Ghalil no. 1957).))
Avoiding Impermissible Utensils
One form of extravagance that some people practice in banquets and walimahs is serving food in gold or silver plates or using silverware made of or plated with gold or silver.
Huthayfah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Do not wear silk or dibaj (an expensive garment with silk lining and borders), nor sit on it; and do not eat or drink in silver or gold utensils; such things are for them (the disbelievers) in the worldly life, and will be for us in the Hereafter” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Umm Salamah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Indeed, he who eats or drinks in gold or silver utensils only echoes in his stomach some of the Hell-fire.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Many scholars permit using silver-plated silverware — provided that the silver layer is so thin that it is negligible compared to the overall substance. However, even then, using that kind of silverware is a source of shubhah (doubt), and is better to be avoided.
Inviting Many People
Within what is reasonable, the newlywed should try to bring to the walimah as many people as possible. Jabir Bin ‘Abdillah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“The most beloved food to Allah is that on which many hands gather.” (Recorded by Ibn Hibban, al-Bayhaqi, and others. Verified to be authentic by Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 171 & as-Sahihah no. 895))
By Muhammad Mustafa Al-Jibali
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