CHAPTER 5: WITH THE PROPHET & HIS WIVES (2)
The Prophet Deserts His Wives for One Month
Text of the Hadith
Ibn ‘Abbas reported that for a whole year he wanted to ask Umar Bin al-Khattab about an ayah, but could not do that because of the feeling of awe that he had toward him. At one point, Umar went out for Hajj, and he accompanied him. Along their return trip, they stopped for rest. ‘Umar went toward some arak (A desert tree from which the miswaks are made.) bushes to relieve himself, and Ibn ‘Abbas waited for him with a pitcher of water. After he finished and came back, Ibn ‘Abbas poured water for ‘Umar, and he performed wudu. Then he walked with him and said, ‘O Commander of the Believers! Who were the two of Allah’s Messenger’s (pbuh) wives who cooperated against him?”(He is referring to what is mentioned in Surah ut-Tahrim (66:1-5). ) He replied, “They were Hafsah and ‘A’ishah. That was because of the secret that he entrusted to Hafsah and she disclosed to ‘A’ishah, which resulted in his anger and decision to desert them — until Allah admonished him.”
Ibn ‘Abbas said, “By Allah, I have wanted to ask you about this for a whole year, but could not because of my feeling of respect toward you.” Umar said, “Do not do that. If you expect that I have knowledge about a matter, ask me. If I know, I will tell you.” Then Umar told him the following:
“By Allah, during the time of Jahiliyyah, we did not give any importance to women, until Allah revealed in their regard what He revealed, and allocated for them what He did. And we, the Quraysh people, used to overcome our women, and did not allow them to interfere in our affairs. When we came to al-Madinah, we found that the Ansar’s women overcame them. So our women started learning some of the manners of the Ansar’s women.
One day I was doing something, and my wife argued with me and suggested, ‘Why don’t you do such and such?’ I said, ‘And what do you have to do with this; and why do you interfere in my decisions?’ She responded, ‘I am amazed at you, O Son of al-Khattab! You do not want to be questioned! By Allah, the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives surely argued with him, and would sometimes desert him the whole day until the evening! And even your daughter surely argues with Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) until she makes him angry for the rest of the day!’ This shocked me, and I said, ‘Anyone of them who does this is indeed a loser!’
I then immediately wrapped myself in my garments and went to Hafsah’s house and said, ‘O my daughter, indeed, do you argue with Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) until he becomes angry for the rest of the day?’ Hafsah replied, ‘Yes indeed, by Allah, we do argue with him! I said, ‘Indeed, you must understand, you are lost and ruined (by that)! Do you feel secure of Allah’s anger and punishment when you disturb His Messenger? Daughter, do not argue with the Prophet (pbuh) about anything, nor desert him, nor ask him too much but ask me whatever you wish. And do not be misled by your co-wife who is prettier than you and more beloved by Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) (He refers to ‘A’ishah).
Then I left and went to Umm Salamah, to whom 1 am closely related, and spoke similarly to her. She replied, ‘I am amazed at you, O Son of al-Khattab! You want to interfere in everything — even between Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) and his wives! Yes, by Allah, we argue with him. If he allows that, he does not mind it; and if he forbids it, he would still be more lenient to us than you.’ When she said that, she cooled some of my anger, and I left.”
‘Umar continued:
“My house was among the dwellings of the tribe of Umayyah Bin Zayd in the district of al-‘Awali (al-Madinah’s heights). I had a neighbor from al-Ansar. We used to take turns going to the Prophet (pbuh) — He would go one day and I the other day. When I went, I would tell him of what happened on that day, of revelations or other things; and when he went, he would do the same.
There were rumors at that time that the Ghassan (A large Arabian tribe who mostly embraced Christianity and was supported by the Romans.) tribe was preparing their horses to attack us, and our chests were filled with anxiety because of this. My neighbor went on the day that it was his turn. In the evening, he came pounding hard on our door, yelling, ‘Is he there?’ I was terrified, and rushed out to him. He said, ‘A very grave incident took place today!’ I asked, ‘What is it? Has the Ghassan attacked us?’ He replied, ‘No, it is even more grave and horrible. The Prophet (pbuh) divorced his wives!’ I said, ‘Hafsah and ‘A’ishah are then truly lost and ruined! I was expecting this to happen sooner or later.’
In the morning, I wrapped myself in my garments and went to pray the fajr prayer with the Prophet (pbuh). After the prayer, the Prophet (pbuh) entered into a room that he had above the Masjid’s level, with a (steep) stair made from a palm tree’s trunk leading up to it. He stayed there in seclusion.
I went out (into the Masjid) and walked toward the minbar. I found around it a group of men sitting and (regretfully) playing with the pebbles, some of them weeping and exclaiming, ‘Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) has divorced his women!’ I sat with them for a short while, and thought to myself, ‘Today, I will find the truth in this regard.’
This happened prior to the command of hijab that came to the Prophet’s wives ’(See al-Ahzab 53 and 59.). Feeling overwhelmed by emotion, I went to ‘A’ishah’s house and said, ‘O daughter of Abu Bakr! Has your position reached that you would hurt Allah’s Messenger (pbuh)?’ She replied. ‘What have you to do with me, O son of al-Khattab! Go deal with your own shame (i.e., your daughter).’ I went into Hafsah’s house and found her weeping. I said, ‘O Hafsah! What makes you weep? Haven’t I warned you of this? Has your position reached that you would hurt Allah’s Messenger (pbuh)? You know that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) does not like you; and had it not been for me he would have divorced you.’ She started weeping very hard. I asked, ‘Did the Prophet (pbuh) divorce all of you?’ She replied, ‘I do not know. There he is secluding himself in that loft.’
I stood beneath the Prophet’s (pbuh) loft. A black youth called Rabah was guarding the door, sitting on the doorstep with his legs dangling down to the palm stair. I said to him, ‘Seek permission for Umar.’ He Went in, spoke to the Prophet (pbuh), and came back saying, ‘I spoke to the Prophet (pbuh) and mentioned your request, but he remained silent.’ So I went back and sat with the group who were by the minbar. I was again overwhelmed by emotion, so I went to the youth and said, ‘Seek permission for ‘Umar.’ He went in and came back saying, i spoke to him and mentioned your request, but he remained silent.” So I went back and sat with the group by the minbar. I was again overwhelmed by emotion, so I went to the youth and raised my voice saying, ‘O Rabah! Seek permission for ‘Umar. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) may think that I came for the sake of Hafsah; but by Allah, if Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) commands me to chop her head off, I will.’ He motioned me to lower my voice, went in, and came back saying, ‘I spoke to him and mentioned your request, but he remained silent.’ As I started moving away, the youth called me and said, ‘The Prophet (pbuh) has given you permission to enter.’
I entered into the Prophet’s (pbuh) presence and found him lying on a straw mat — the straws leaving marks on his side. He was reclining on a leather pillow filled with luffa (rough fiberish plant). Still standing up, I gave him Salam and said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! Why should you be upset about women? If you have divorced them, then Allah is on your side, and His angels, and Jibrll and Mikail, and I and Abu Bakr and the believers are on your side as well. And rarely did I say a statement — praise be to Allah — but hoped that Allah would confirm my statement. So Allah revealed:
“If you two (Aishah and Hafsah) repent to Allah, (it is best), for your hearts have deviated. But if you cooperate against him — then indeed Allah is his protector, and Jibril and the righteous of the believers and the angels, moreover, are his supporters. (at-Tahrim 66:4)
And He (pbuh) revealed:
“Perhaps his Lord, if he divorced you (all), would substitute for him wives better than you — submitting (to Allah), believing, devoutly obedient (to Allah), repentant (O Allah), worshiping (Allah), and migrating (for Allah’s cause) — non-virgins and virgins.” (at-Tahrim 66:5)
Then I asked him, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! Have you divorced your wives?’ He replied, ‘No!’ I said, ‘Allahu Akbar! O Allah’s Messenger, when I entered into the Masjid I saw the Muslims (regretfully) playing with the pebbles and exclaiming that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) has divorced his wives. Should I go down and inform them that you did not?’ He replied, ‘Yes, if you wish.’ So I rushed to the door leading to the Masjid and shouted as loud as I could, ‘The Prophet (pbuh) did not divorce his wives!’ Also, the following ayah was revealed:
“And when there comes to them some information concerning security or fear, they spread it around. But if they had referred it back to the Messenger or to those of authority among them, then the ones who can draw correct conclusions from it would have known it. And had it not been for Allah’s favor and mercy upon you, you would have followed Satan — except for a few (among you).” (An-Nisa 4:83.)
And I was the one who was able to draw that correct answer.
Still standing, I tried to cheer the Prophet (pbuh), ‘O Allah’s Messenger! You should see how we, the Quraysh people, used to overcome our women. But when we came to al-Madinah we found people whose women overcame them. So our women started learning from their women. One day I became angry with my wife, and she started arguing with me. I disapproved of that. Her response was that, by Allah, the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives surely argue with him, and would sometimes desert him a whole day until the evening! I then went and said to them, “Anyone of you who does that is indeed a ruined loser! How can any of you have security from Allah’s wrath when she disturbs His Messenger? That could surely bring her destruction.’” The Prophet (pbuh) smiled showing his teeth — and his smile was among the best of the people. Then I said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! You should have seen me when I went to Hafsah and said, “Do not be conceited because of your co-wife who is prettier and more beloved to the Prophet (pbuh).” ’ The Prophet (pbuh) smiled a second time.
When I saw that, I sought his permission to sit and continue talking to him. He said, ‘Yes!’ I sat down and raised my eyes examining the contents of his dwelling. I only saw three half-tinted pieces of leather, and a handful of barely in a corner. I tried, and he asked me, ‘O Son of al-Khattab! What makes you cry?’ I said, ‘How can I not cry when I see this mat leaving marks on your side, and your room as empty as it is? Why do Kisra and Qaysar (Caesar) enjoy rivers and fruits while you, Allah’s Messenger and His chosen one from among His creation, are in this tight living? O Allah’s Messenger! Supplicate to Allah to ease the living of your Ummah for the Persians and Romans have indeed been given ease of living and have been given the possessions of the worldly life, even though they do not worship Allah.’
The Prophet (pbuh) sat up from his recline and said:
‘Is this what concerns you? Do you have any doubt (about Allah’s promises), O Son of al-Khattab? Those people have received their pleasure too soon — in this worldly life.’
I said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! Ask Allah to forgive me.’
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) then descended from the loft and I followed him. Whereas I was carefully holding to the palm trunk, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) descended (elegantly) as if he was walking on a flat surface, and without even touching the trunk.
Thus, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) abandoned his wives and remained in his seclusion for twenty-nine nights. He had vowed to desert them for a full month, saying, ‘I will not approach them for a full month.’ I asked him about that, ‘O Allah’s Messenger, you remained in the loft only for twenty-nine nights.’ He replied, ‘A month can be twenty-nine days.’ “ (This is a combined report recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
NOTES
In the above narration, Ibn ‘Abbas asked Umar about the two women who cooperated against the Prophet (pbuh). He clearly indicated that they were Hafsah and ‘A’ishah Then ‘Umar went on to mention another incident that led the Prophet (pbuh) to desert his wives for a full month.
Thus it should be understood that ‘Umar mentioned two different incidents.(See Fath ul-Qadir by ash-Shawkani.) He intertwined them because they had something in common: they both represented misbehavior by the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives toward him, and both resulted in revelations defending the Prophet (pbuh) and reproaching the Mothers of the Believers. The second incident will be further detailed in the next section.
A Difficult Choice?
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) chose to live a modest life, reserving his pleasures to the Hereafter. This is indicated in his words to ‘Umar in the previous section. It seems that he (pbuh) saw signs of discontent from his wives, and that greatly distressed him.
Text of the Hadith
Jabir Bin ‘Abdillah reported that Abu Bakr went to the Prophet’s (pbuh) house and sought permission to enter. There were many People sitting outside, none of them permitted to enter. Abu Bakr was admitted. Umar then came, sought permission to enter, and was admitted. They found the Prophet (pbuh) sitting in silence, with his wives around him. Abu Bakr decided to say something to cheer the Prophet (pbuh), so he said, “O Allah’s Messenger! You should have seen when Bint Kharijah asked me for (additional) support: I was about to strike her neck.” (This expression is not always meant literally, but is often used to express a mere threat for misbehavior.) Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) then smiled and said:
‘Here they are – as you can see – around me, asking me for (additional) support.’
So Abu Bakr jumped at ‘A’ishah to hit her, and ‘Umar jumped at Hafsah, both of them saying, “How dare you ask Allah’s Messenger for that which he cannot afford?” They replied, “By Allah, we are not asking Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) for anything he cannot afford.”
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) then deserted his wives for a month (or twenty nine days), and Allah (swt) revealed:
“O Prophet! Say to your wives, “If you should desire the worldly life and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you and give you a gracious release. But if you should desire Allah and His Messenger and the home of the Hereafter — then indeed, Allah has prepared for the doers of good among you a great reward.” (Al-Ahzab 33:28-29)
The Prophet (pbuh) started by ‘A’ishah and said:
‘O A’ishah! I want to propose something to you, and would like you not to hasten in your decision and you should consult with your parents.’
She asked, “What is it, O Allah’s Messenger?” And he recited to her the above two ayat. She said:
“Do I need to consult my parents in regard to you,O Allah’s Messenger!? I surely choose Allah, His Messenger, and the home of the Hereafter. I further request you not to tell any of your other wives about what I just said.”
He replied:
‘No woman among them would ask me but I will tell her. Indeed, Allah did not send me as one who makes things hard for himself or others. Rather, He sent me as a teacher who facilitates things.’
All of the other wives made the same choice as ‘Aishah, and this pleased Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.).
By Muhammad Mustafa al-Jibaly
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