CHAPTER 5: THE ELDERLY – PART 2
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, received the elderly in a respectful manner:
A noteworthy story in this regard is that of the old lady who was one of the friends of Khadeejah (the Prophet’s first wife) who came to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he gave her a warm welcome and a respectful reception. When ‘Aa’ishah (another of his wives) asked him about this, saying: ‘O Messenger of Allah, why were you so friendly and kind with this old lady?’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “O ‘Aa’ishah, she used to visit us during the lifetime of Khadeejah and being kind to old friends is a sign of one’s good faith.”(Reported by Al-Haakim Nasa’i (17/1).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, received her in a respectful and pleasant manner and asked about her condition and how she was doing. The way he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, dealt with this old lady reflects his good and noble manners and the kind treatment he accorded elders.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to joke with them:
Al-Hasan (a Companion) narrated: “An old woman came to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, supplicate that Allah admits me into Jannah (Paradise).’ To which he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “O Umm so and so [the mother of so and so], Paradise will not have old people in it.” The old lady started to cry and walk away, so the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to his Companions: “Tell her that she will not enter it while she is old, because Allah Says (what means): «Indeed, We have produced them [i.e. the women of Paradise] in a [new] creation. And made them virgins. Devoted [to their husbands] and of equal age.» [Quran: 56:35-37]””(Reported by At-Tirmidhi in his book Ash-Shama’il (page 199).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave them hope in the mercy of Allah:
‘Amr ibn ‘Abasah (a Companion) narrated: “An old man came to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, walking using his staff. He said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I have done many evil things (in my young age) so would Allah forgive me?’ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Do you not testify that there is none worthy of worship but Allah?” The man said: ‘Yes, and I also testify that you are the Messenger of Allah.’ Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Your evil deeds are forgiven.”(Reported by Ahmad (18939).) In another narration, the old man left, saying aloud: “Allahu Akbar (Allah is The Greatest), Allahu Akbar!” (Ibn Abu Ad-Dunya in his book Husn Ath-Than Billaah (page 144).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, instructed his Companions not to kill the elderly unless they assisted in the fight against Muslims:
Anas narrated that whenever the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, dispatched troops on a battle, he would say: “Don’t kill old people.”(Reported by At-Tahawi in his book Sharh Ma’ani Al-Athar (5184).)
At-Tahaawi (a scholar) said: “It is a confirmed fact that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, forbade killing old people (during battles) who do not assist the fighters in the battle in any way, whether physical fighting or even giving an opinion to those fighting the Muslims. This is because one may assist in his opinion and be more fatal than those who are actually fighting. The evidence for this is the narration of Rabaah (the brother of Hanthalah; a Companion) which stated that a woman was killed and upon seeing her, the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “This woman was not fighting”(Reported by Abu Dawood (2669)and Ibn Maajah (2842).) meaning, she was not supposed to be killed because she was not fighting.”(Sharh Ma’ani Al-Aathaar (224/3).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave them preference in many matters:
There were many examples that highlight this in the life of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and the following are some of them:
• Giving them preference to speak:
Sahl ibn Abu Hathmah (a Companion) and Raafi’ ibn Khadeej (a Companion) narrated:
“’(Two Companions) ‘Abdullaah ibn Sahl ibn Zayd and Muhayyisah ibn Mas’ood ibn Zayd went out and as they reached Khaybar they were separated. Then Muhayyisah found ‘Abdullaah ibn Sahl had been killed. He buried him, and then came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. They were Huwayyisah ibn Mas’ood and ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Sahl, and he (the latter one) was the youngest of the people (those three who had come to seek an interview with the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) began to talk before his Companions (had spoken). Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The eldest one [eldest in regard to age] should speak.” So he kept quiet, and his companions (Muhayyisah and Huwayyisah) began to speak, and he (‘Abdur-Rahmaan) spoke along with them and theynarrated to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, the murder of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Sahl.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (3173) and Muslim (1669).)
• Giving them preference in offering drink:
Ibn ‘Abbas (a Companion) narrated: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to say (when giving water): “Start with an elder” or “Start with old people”. (Reported by Abu Ya’la (2425).)
• Giving them preference to leading the prayer:
Abu Masood Al-Ansaari (a Companion) narrated: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A man who is well versed in the Book of Allah and can recite it better, should lead the prayer; if [all those present] are equal in this respect, then the man who is senior most in respect of emigration, if they are equal in that respect too, then the oldest of them should lead the prayer.””(Reported by Muslim (673).)
• Giving them preference to his greeting with Salaam:
Abu Hurayrah (a Companion) narrated: “ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The young should greet the elderly; a pedestrian should greet one who is sitting; and a small group should greet a large group [of people].””(Reported by Al-Bukhari (6231) and Muslim(2160).)
• Giving preference to elders is upon the condition that one does not transgress the rights of others.
These narrations show that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave preference to elders over young people owing to their status and rights in Islam, and because they are usually the ones with more experience and knowledge than others who are younger in age. The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave preference to elders, which tells us that we should honour and not humiliate them. When a youngster is given preference over an elder, the latter would be hurt, because it is known to them (as well as to all Muslims) that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave preference to elders.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would lighten verdicts for elders:
Given their old age and their physical weakness, the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would give lighter rulings to elders to make applying them easier. There are many situations demonstrating this, such as:
• Allowing pilgrimage by proxy for elders if they were too weak to perform it themselves:
‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abbas narrated: “A woman of the tribe of Khath’am came to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asking for a religious verdict. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, there is an obligation from Allah upon His slaves in regard to pilgrimage. However, my father is an aged man; he is incapable of riding safely (on the journey to pilgrimage). May I perform a pilgrimage on his behalf?’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Yes.” It was during the Farewell Pilgrimage.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (1513) and Muslim (1334).)
• Exempting elders from fasting when expiating due to their weakness and allowing them to feed the poor:
In the story of Khuwaylah bint Tha’labah (a woman Companion) when her husband pronounced the words: ‘You are like my mother (meaning, you are as unlawful to have intercourse with as my mother is)’. The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “He should set free a slave”. She said: ‘He cannot afford it.’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “He should fast for two consecutive months.” She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, he is an old man; he cannot keep fasts.’ Thereupon he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “He should feed sixty poor people.” She said: ‘He has nothing which he may give in alms.’ At that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “I shall help him with a date-basket.” She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I will help him with a date-basket also.’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “You have done well. Go and feed sixty poor people on his behalf, and return to your cousin [her husband], and be kind to him.” So she did. (Reported by Abu Dawood (2214) and Ahmad (26774).)
This story shows that when he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, found out that the old man cannot fast he allowed him to go to the next form of expiation, which is feeding the poor.
• Instructing those leading the congregation to shorten the prayer out of consideration for elders:
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “When one of you leads the congregational prayer, he should not prolong it because the congregation includes those who are feeble, ill or old.” While offering prayers alone, you may pray as long as you like.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (671) and Muslim (468).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would remind elders of Allah because their time was near:
An old person is closer to death, and thus must be reminded to repent in order to be ready for the meeting with Allah. Allah Says (what means): «But did We not grant you life enough for whoever would remember therein to remember, and the warner had come to you? So taste [the punishment], for there is not for the wrongdoers any helper.» [Quran: 35:37]
Ibn Katheer (a scholar) reported: “Ibn ‘Abbas (a Companion) said: “The warner is (one’s) grey hair.”(Tafseer Ibn Katheer (493/6).)
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A person who lives until he attains the age of sixty years has no excuse with Allah.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (6056).)
Ibn Hajar (a scholar) said: “The term, “has no excuse with Allah” means, he has no grounds for justifying his negligence, or to claim that had he lived long enough he would have fulfilled what Allah commanded him to do. It also means that one was granted the maximum possible excuse to do what he is supposed to do. If one has no excuse to abandon worshipping Allah despite living a long period, then one should exert more efforts in seeking the forgiveness of Allah, perform as many acts of worship as possible, and work for the Hereafter wholeheartedly.” (Fat-h Al-Baari (240/11).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, warned them against running after this transient life:
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The heart of an elderly person feels young for the love of two things; love for long life and wealth.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (6420) and Muslim (1046).)
The narration of Al-Bukhari (a scholar) reads slightly differently: “The heart of an old person remains feeling young in two respects, i.e. his love for the world [its wealth, amusements and luxuries] and his incessant hope [to live longer].”
An-Nawawi (a scholar) said: “This means that the heart of an old man is totally overwhelmed by the love of wealth and controlled by it just like a young person is controlled by his love to his strength during his young age.”(The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (138/7).)
Anas narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The son of Adam grows older and two qualities continue to grow with him; his love to collect wealth and his keenness to live longer.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (6421) and Muslim (1047).)
Al-Mubaarakpoori (a scholar) said commenting on this narration: “The term, “grows older” means he grows to the age of grey hair. The term: “two qualities continue to grow with him” means the presence of these two qualities grows stronger. The term: “his love to collect wealth” means he is keen on collecting it but becomes stingy and hates to spend from it.” (Tuhfat Al-Ahwathi (520/6).)
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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