CHAPTER 5: WOMEN – PART 6
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, selected pious women as wives for his Companions:
Anas ibn Maalik narrated:
“The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, went to ask for the hand of a girl from the Ansaar for Julaybib (an extremely poor Companion). The man requested time to consult her mother.
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Alright, then do so.”
They went home and told his wife, to which she said: “No by Allah, did the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, find no one else to ask for her hand for other than Julaybeeb!” Their daughter was behind the screen and heard their conversation. The father got up to go and inform the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, of their reply, but the girl came out and said to her parents, “Do you want to turn down the request of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam? If he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, accepted this (man) for us, then marry me off to him.”
It was as if she woke her parents up from heedlessness and they immediately said: “You are right.”
Her father went to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said: “Since you are satisfied with this man as a husband for our daughter, then we accept him.”
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Yes, I am satisfied with him as a husband for her, so marry her off to him.”
Then a battle took place and Julaybeeb was amongst the Muslims who fought, and people found him martyred at the end of the battle.
Anas ibn Maalik said: “I saw her (Julaybeeb’s widow) after that, and she was one of the richest ladies in Madinah.”(Reported by Ahmad (11944).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would not marry a woman off unless she approved:
‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (a Companion) narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to a man: “Would you agree to marry so and so?”
The man said: “Yes.”
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said the same to the woman (whom he mentioned to the man): “Would you agree to marry so and so [referring to the man whom he asked]?”
She said: “Yes.” So he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then married them to one another.
Anas continued: “The man consummated the marriage with her, but he did not fix any dower for her, nor did he give her anything. He was one of those who participated in the expedition to Al-Hudaybiyyah, and the one who took part in the expedition of Al-Hudaybiyyah was entitled for a share in Khaybar. When he was nearing his death, he said: ‘ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, married me to so and so, and I did not fix a dower for her, nor did I give anything to her. I call upon you as a witness that I have given my share in Khaybar as her dower. So she took the share and sold it for one lakh (an amount of silver coins known as Dirham). Thereupon, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The best marriages are those that are facilitated and made easy.””(Reported by Abu Dawood (2117).)
Al-Manaawi (a scholar) said: “Meaning, the marriage that is least expensive, facilitated and approval is made easy for the man. This is because marriage should be a source of compassion and comfort for the man and the woman, and thus should be made easy and facilitated in order for blessings to prevail. A sign of facilitating marriage is not to ask for a large dowry, and facilitating all matters related to the marriage ceremony and feast.”(Faydh Al-Qadeer (482/3).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would refuse a marriage which the father conducted without the girl’s approval:
Al-Khansaa’ bint Khidaam Al-Ansaariyyah (a female Companion) narrated that her father married her off when she was a Thayyib (a woman who was married before and is a widow or divorced), but she did not approve of the marriage. She went to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and informed him of that, so he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, revoked the marriage. (Reported by Al-Bukhari (5139).)
Al-’Atheem Abaadi (a scholar) said: “The narration proves that it is impermissible to marry off a previously married woman (either divorced or widowed) without her consent, and that if the father marries her off without her consent, then she may get the marriage revoked.”(‘Awn Al-Ma’bud (90/6).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, listened to their complaints:
Khuwaylah bint Tha’labah (a female Companion) narrated:
“I swear by Allah, the first verses of Chapter Al-Mujaadilah, were revealed about me and my husband, Aws ibn As-Saamit.
I was married to him, and he was an old man with bad manners and was hot-tempered. One day he entered upon me and I discussed a matter with him, and he became angry and pronounced the words: ‘You are like my mother (meaning, you are as unlawful to have intercourse with as my mother is)’.
He left and sat with his friends for a while, and then came back and wanted to have intercourse with me.
I said to him, ‘No by The One in Whose Hand the soul of Khawlah is, you will not come near me and will not fulfil your desire after what you had said until Allah and His Messenger give me a ruling on our matter.’
He tried to force himself but I refused and I overcame him, given his old age and weak body, and I was a younger woman, so I pushed him away and left.
I went to one of the neighbours and borrowed a garment from her and went to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and sat in front of him and narrated to him what happened, and I started to complain about my husband’s bad manners and hot temper and how much I was suffering.
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “He is an old man, so fear Allah about him.”
I continued complaining until the Quranic verse was revealed and the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, experienced what he experienced whenever he received revelation. Then he went back to his normal state and said: “O Khawlah, Allah has revealed the Quran about you and your husband.”
Then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, recited the first verses of Chapter Al-Mujaadilah (which mean): «Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues [i.e. pleads] with you, [O Muhammad] concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah. And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing. Those who pronounce Thihaar [i.e. the saying of the husband to his wife, ‘You are like my mother’] among you [to separate] from their wives, they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving. And those who pronounce Thihaar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said, then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allah is Acquainted with what you do. And he who does not find [a slave] then a fast for two months consecutively [uninterrupted except for an Islamically valid reason, as in Ramadan] before they touch one another; and he who is unable — then the feeding of sixty poor persons. That is for you to believe [completely] in Allah and His Messenger; and those are the limits [set by] Allah. And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment.» [Quran: 58:1-4]
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then said: “Tell him that he should set free a slave.”
I said: ‘I swear by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, he cannot afford it.’
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then said: “Then he should fast for two consecutive [uninterrupted] months.”
I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I swear by Allah, he is an old man; he cannot keep fasts.’
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then said: “He should feed sixty poor people.”
I said: ‘He has nothing which he may give in alms.’
At that moment an araq (i.e. date-basket holding approximately equals to 3.15 kg or 6.94 lbs) was brought to him, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “I shall help him with a date-basket [‘araq].”
I said: “I shall also help him with another date-basket.”
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “You have done well. Go and feed sixty poor people on his behalf, and return to your cousin [i.e. her husband].”
Khawlah said: “I implemented the instructions of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam”(Reported by Ahmad (26774) and Abu Dawood (2214).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, allowed them to participate in battles to treat the injured and prepare food:
Ar-Rabee’ bint Al-Mu’awwith (a female Companion) said: “We used to attend the battles with the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and give water to the fighters, serve them and take the injured back to Madinah.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (2670).)
Another narration reads: “We used to attend the battles with the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and give water to the fighters, treat the injured amongst them, and take those who were killed back to Madinah.”
Anas narrated: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to go on battles accompanying Umm Sulaym and other women from Madinah. They would give water to the fighters and treat anyone who was injured amongst them.”(Reported by Muslim (1810).)
Anas also narrated: “I saw ‘Aa’ishah and Umm Sulaym (on the day of the battle of Uhud); they were carrying water containers and putting water in the mouths of the (injured) people, and would go back and fill the containers again, and then return to give water to people again.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (3811) and Muslim (4064).)
Umm ‘Atiyyah Al-Ansaariyah (a female Companion) narrated: “I took part with the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in seven battles. I would stay behind in the camp of men, cook their food, treat the wounded and nurse the sick.”(Reported by Muslim (3380).)
An-Nawawi said: “The narration proves the permissibility of women participating in battles; using them to get water and treat the wounded. The treatment would be only for her husband or men who are a Mahram (relative whom she can never marry due to blood relations, and marriage of suckling), unless there is a dire need for her to treat others, then she should not touch them unless treatment requires that as a necessity.”(The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (188/12))
Mahmood ibn Lubaid (a Companion) said: “When the ankle of Sa’d (a Companion) was injured during the Battle of the Trench and he was unable to walk, he was sent to a woman called Rufaidah who used to treat wounded people.
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to pass by him and ask: “How are you feeling tonight?” and he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to pass by him again in the morning and ask: “How are you feeling today?”and he (Sa’d) would tell him.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (1129) in his book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad.)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to forbid killing women during battles:
It is narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar (a Companion), “A woman was found killed in one of the battles fought by the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. He disapproved of it and forbade the killing of women and children.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (3015) and Muslim (1744).)
Conclusion:
The Quran tells us that men and women all originated from one couple; Adam and his wife Eve, who was created from him. Over the centuries, the woman lost her role as a partner and helper of man and her status and role in the community and home was reduced to that of a possession or a cheap commodity that men can freely enjoy, without granting them any rights.
Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came to honor women, elevate their status and make them important members of the community. Certainly, the one who set the highest and best example in the way women should be treated was the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, himself. At a time when they were treated very badly, the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave women honour and dignity equal to men. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, opposed all forms of oppression and discrimination against women and abolished several cruel practices of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance. Not only that, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, also trained them to become leading examples for the upcoming female generation to learn from.
Today, we are witnessing a similar era where ignorance and oppression flourish, and need to follow the example and guidance of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, more than ever.
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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