CHAPTER 5: WOMEN – PART 3
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was saddened because he did not pray the funeral prayer over a woman who used to clean the mosque:
Abu Hurayrah reported that a black woman used to sweep the mosque, and the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, noticed that he had not seen her, so he asked about her, and was told, “She has passed away.” The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Why did you not inform me?” Abu Hurayrah said: “It was as if they considered the matter not worth mentioning.” They showed him where her grave was, and he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, prayed (the funeral prayer) upon her, then said: “These graves are filled with darkness for those residing in them, and Allah brightens them by my praying on them.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (458) and Muslim (956).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, consoled those who were verbally harmed:
Abu Moosa (a Companion) narrated:
“We were in Yemen when we heard of the migration of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. We also set out as immigrants to him. And I was accompanied by two brothers of mine, I being the youngest of them; one of them was Abu Burda and the other one was Abu Ruhm, and there were some other people with them. Some say they were fifty-three or fifty-two people of my tribe. We embarked upon a boat, and the boat sailed away to the Negus of Abyssinia. There we met Ja’far ibn Abu Taalib and his companions. Ja’far said: ‘The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, has sent us here and has commanded us to stay here and you should also stay with us.’ So we stayed with him and then (after a while) we all travelled (to Madinah) and met the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, when Khaybar had been conquered. “
Abu Moosa continued:
“The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, allocated a share to us, and in the ordinary course he did not allocate the share to anyone who had been absent on the occasion of the conquest of Khaybar but conferred (a share) only on those who had been present there with him. However, he made an exception for the people of the boat (Ja’far and his companions). He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, allocated a share to them, and some persons from amongst the people said to us, the people of the boat: We have preceded you in migration’. Asmaa’ bint ‘Umays who had migrated to Abyssinia and had come back along with them (along with immigrants) visited Hafsah, the wife of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
‘Umar (the father of Hafsah) had been sitting with her (Hafsah). When ‘Umar saw Asmaa’, he asked: ‘Who is she?’
She (Hafsah) said: ‘She is Asmaa’, daughter of ‘Umays.’
He said: ‘She is the Abyssinian and a sea-farer.’1
Asmaa said: ‘Yes, that is so.’
Thereupon ‘Umar said: ‘We preceded you in emigration and so we have more right to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, as compared to you.’
At this, she felt annoyed and said: ‘O ‘Umar, you are not stating the facts; by Allah, you had the privilege of being in the company of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who fed the hungry among you and instructed the ignorant amongst you, whereas we had been far (from here) in the land of Abyssinia amongst the enemies, and that was all for the sake of Allah and the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. By Allah, I will not take food or water unless I make a mention to Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, of what you have said. We remained in that country in constant trouble and dread and I shall talk about it to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and ask him (about it). By Allah, I shall not tell a lie and deviate (from the truth) and add anything to that.’
When the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came, she said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, ‘Umar says such and such.’
Upon this the Messenger Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “What did you say to him?”
She said: ‘I said such and such.”
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “His right is not more than yours; for him and his companions there is one migration, but for you, [i.e. for the people of the boat], there are two migrations.””
She said: “I saw Abu Moosa and the people of the boat coming to me in groups and asking me about this narration. There was nothing more pleasing and more significant for them than this.” Asmaa’ [also] said: “I saw Abu Moosa, asking me to repeat this narration to him again and again.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (4231) and Muslim (2503).)
His dealing with them was based on tenderness and kindness:
Sa’d ibn Abu Waqqaas (a Companion) narrated: “’Umar (a Companion and the second Caliph) sought permission from the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to visit him when some women of the Quraysh were busy talking to him and asking too many questions, raising their voices above his voice. When Umar sought permission, they stood up and went hurriedly behind the curtain. The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave him permission and was smiling. Thereupon, ‘Umar said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, may Allah keep you happy all your life, (meaning to ask why are you smiling?)’ Then the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “I wonder at these women who were with me and no sooner did they hear your voice, they immediately went behind the curtain.” Thereupon ‘Umar said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, you have more right that they should fear you.’ Then Umar (addressing the women) said: ‘O enemies of yourselves, do you fear me and do not fear the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam?’ They said: ‘Yes, you are harsh and strict as compared to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam’.”(Reported by Al-Bukhari (3683) and Muslim (2397).)
We extract from this narration that it is recommended to be lenient, soft, and tolerant unless otherwise (Islamically) needed.
Allah Says (what means): «And lower your wing [i.e. show kindness] to the believers.» [Quran: 15:88]
Allah also Says (what means): «And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.» [Quran: 3:159]
Allah also Says (what means): «And to the believers is kind and merciful.» [Quran: 9:128] (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (165/15).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was kind to widows:
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was extremely kind and merciful towards them and he was never arrogant towards them or refused to talk to any of them.
‘Abdullaah ibn Awfa (a Companion) said describing the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to mention Allah abundantly, and he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, never indulged in idle talk. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would prolong his prayer and make his Friday sermon short. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was never too proud to walk with a widow or a poor person. He would walk with them until he fulfilled the need of one of them.”(Reported by An-Nasa’i (1414).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, clarified the virtue of exerting efforts to fulfil the need of a widow and the virtue of taking care of her affairs. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The one who strives to help the widows and the poor is like the one who fights in the way of Allah or like the one who observes fasts continuously.’’(Reported by Al-Bukhari (5353) and Muslim (2982) on the authority of Abu Hurayrah.)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, made fulfilling their needs a priority:
Anas ibn Maalik narrated that a woman came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have something which I need you to fulfil.” He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “O Umm [mother of] so and so, tell me which of the alleys you want me to stand with you in [so that people cannot hear her questions], so that I may fulfil your need [i.e. reply to your inquiries].” So he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, stood with her in one of the alleys (where people could still see them but could not hear them) and replied to all her inquiries. (Reported by Muslim (2326).)
This shows the humbleness of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and his kindness with this woman who needed to ask him and needed his help. It also reflects his leniency and care for those who needed him.
Anas ibn Maalik said: “A young girl from Madinah would go and take the hand of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he would not take his hand out of her hand until she took him wherever she wished to take him.” (Reported by Ahmad (11530) and Al-Bukhari (6072).)
Ibn Hajar said: “Taking him by his hand and walking with him, shows that the slave was able to lead him to any place she wanted and that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would not refuse, even if she were to take him outside the city boundaries of Madinah if that would fulfil the need. This shows his humbleness and that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was free from any arrogance.” (Fat-h Al-Baari (424/1).)
To reconcile between the narration which mentions a female taking hold of his hand, and other narrations which report that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not touch unrelated women, the scholars said that she was young and had not reached the age of puberty yet.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was especially kind to women who had conferred a favour upon him:
Thuwaybah: He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was especially kind to Thuwaybah, his wet-nurse, who was a female-slave of Abu Lahab ibn ‘Abdul-Muttalib. She breastfed the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, before Haleemah As-Sa’diyah and was his first nurse. She breastfed him, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, while she was feeding one of her sons called Masrooh. She breastfed Hamzah, the paternal uncle of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, before him. After the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, she breastfed Abu Salamah ibn ‘Abdul-Asad. (Usd Al-Ghaabah (8/1).)
Ibn Sa’d (a scholar) said: “He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would maintain ties with her while he was in Makkah. Khadeejah (the Prophet’s first wife) would be kind to her while she was still owned by Abu Lahab, and she requested him (Abu Lahab) to sell her but he refused. When the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, migrated to Madinah, Abu Lahab freed her, and the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would send her money and clothes.”(Al-Isaabah Fi Tamyeez Al-Sahabah (548/7).)
Umm Ayman: He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was also kind to Umm Ayman, his nursemaid. Her name is Barakah bint Tha’labah ibn ‘Amr ibn Hisn ibn Maalik ibn Salamah ibn ‘Amr ibn Nu’maan. She was a female-slave owned by the mother of the Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. (Al-Isaabah Fi Tamyeez As-Sahaabah (291/14) and Taareekh Dimashq (302/4).)
Anas ibn Maalik narrated: “After the death of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, Abu Bakr said to ‘Umar, ‘Let us visit Umm Ayman as the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to visit her’.
As they (Abu Bakr and ‘Umar) came to her, she wept. They (Abu Bakr and ‘Umar) said to her, ‘What makes you weep? What is in store (in the next world) for the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is better than (this worldly life).’ She said: ‘I weep not because I am ignorant of the fact that what is in store for the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, (in the next world) is better than (this world), but because the revelation which came from the Heaven has ceased to come.’ This moved both of them to tears and they began to weep along with her.”(Reported by Muslim (2454).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would honour and act hospitably towards his wives’ friends:
‘Aa’ishah narrated: ‘Never did I feel jealous of the wives of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, more than Khadeejah, although I did not (have the privilege to) see her.’
She added: “Whenever the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, slaughtered a sheep, he would say: “Send it to the friends of Khadeejah.” One day I said to him, ‘(It is) Khadeejah only who always prevails upon your mind.’ Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Her love had been nurtured in my heart by Allah Himself, and she was the mother of my children.””(Reported by Al-Bukhari and (3818) Muslim (2435).) This means that she was the only wife from whom he had children who stayed alive. One of his wives,Maariyah, gave birth to another son whose name was Ibraaheem but he died at the age of six months.
‘Aa’ishah narrated: “An old lady came to the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, while he was in my house, so he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked her: “Who are you?” she replied: ‘I am Jaththaamah Al-Muzaniyyah.’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Rather, you are Hussaanah. How are you and your people? How are you doing? How has life been with you since I saw you last?”(Jaththaamah means a lazy person, while Hussaanah indicates goodness and beauty. It was the habit of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to change the names that had a negative meaning to ones with nice meanings. ) She said: ‘We are just fine, O Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you.’ After she left I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, why were you so friendly and kind with this old lady and gave her such a good reception?’ He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “O ‘Aa’ishah, she used to visit us during the life of Khadeejah and being kind to old friends is from faith.””(Reported by Al-Haakim Nasa’i (17/1).)
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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