CHAPTER 4: THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT (3)
Kinds
The dowry can be money, jewelry, clothes, or other material things. It can also be a non-material gift, as we’ll see below.
The amount of the dowry should be in accordance with the husband’s financial ability and with what is reasonable for the bride in her social status. It is normally determined by agreement between the husband and the bride (or her wali).
Sahl Bin Sad reported that a woman once came to the Prophet (pbuh) and offered herself (in marriage) to him. He (pbuh) declined and indicated that he had no need for any (additional) wives. A man who was present with him said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Marry her to me.” The Prophet (pbuh) asked him, “Do you have anything (to give her)?” He said, “No!” The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Give her at least an iron ring.” But he still could not afford it. He (pbuh) asked him, “Have you memorized any portion of the Quran?” He replied. “I memorized such-and-such surahs.” The Prophet (pbuh) then said:
“Go (have her as a wife). I marry her to you for the portion of the Quran that you memorized.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
One may ask, “What benefit did she get from his memorization of the Quran?” The answer is that he would then be expected to teach her some of what he had memorized, and to treat her kindly according to the upright principles learned from what he memorized. All of that would be of much more benefit to the bride than material gifts.
In addition to a cash sum of money that is usually specified as the mahr, some cultures require from the husband other financial commitments toward the bride, such as clothes, jewelry, and so on. In the Islamic law, all of that counts as part of the mahr, and it is best to clearly name it in the marriage contract to avoid future disputes.
Moderateness in Dowries
Islam does not set an upper limit for the dowry; but it is recommended to make it light and easy on the husband. A burdening mahr could be a bad omen of a miserable and non-compassionate marriage.
In many Muslim countries, the woman’s parents request extremely high dowries. That has led many young men to forsake marriage or postpone it for a number of years, which has in turn led to the spread of zina and other sins among the young. Thus, the parents should be considerate and should realize that demanding too much from the husband brings harm to their daughters and the whole Muslim community.
Abu Hurayrah reported that a man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, “I have married a woman from al-Ansar.” (This is the same man that the Prophet (pbuh) asked if he had looked at his bride before marrying her (see p. 38).) The Prophet (pbuh) asked him,
“Four uqiyyahs? It is as though you scoop silver from the side of this mountain! “ (Recorded by Muslim, an-Nasa’i, and others.)
Abu Hadrad al-Aslami reported that he came to the Prophet (pbuh) seeking help in paying a woman’s mahr. The Prophet (pbuh) asked him,”How much did you promise to give her?” He replied, “Two hundred dirhams” The Prophet (pbuh) responded:
“Had you been scooping (silver) from Bathan (Name of a valley in al-Madinah,) , you would not have pledged more than that. ” (Recorded by al-Hakim and Ahmad. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as- Sahihah no. 2173).)
‘Uqbah Bin ‘Amir reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“The best of marriages (or dowries) are the easiest.” (Recorded by Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, and others. Verified to be authentic by al- Albani (Sahih ul-Jamu no. 3279, 3300, as-Sahihah no. 1842, & Irwa ul-Ghalil no. 1924).)
A dowry that is light upon the husband is a sign of blessing for the bride. ‘A’ishah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Verily, a sign of blessing for a woman is that her engagement, sadaq, and womb (i.e., giving birth), are all made easy.” (Recorded by Ahmad, al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 2235 & Irwa ‘ul-Ghalil no. 1928). )
Unspecified Mahrs
If the marriage contract is executed without specifying a mahr, that does not forfeit the wife’s right to it.
‘Uqbah Bin ‘Amir reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said to a man, “Do you agree that I marry so-and-so woman to jou? ” He replied, “Yes.” The Prophet (pbuh) then said to the woman, “Do you agree that I marry you to so-and-so man? ” She replied, “Yes.” So he married them to each other without naming a mahr for the bride or giving her anything. That man was of those who witnessed al-Hudaybiyah Covenant, and he got a share from the battle spoils of Khaybar. When he approached death, he said:
“Indeed, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) gave me so-and-so in marriage but I did not then give her anything. Be my witnesses that I now give her as mahr my share from Khaybar.”
So she took that share and sold it for one hundred-thousand. (Recorded by Abu Dawud, Ibn Hibban, and others. Verified to be authentic by alAlbanl (Irwa ‘ ul-Ghalil no. 1924).)
‘Ulqumah reported that some people came to ‘Abdullah Bin Masud and asked him about a case where one of them married a woman without naming a mahr for her and he died before consummating the marriage. ‘Abdullah said, “Since I departed from Allah’s Messenger (pbuh), I have not been asked a harder question. Go ask someone else.” They kept trying to get an answer from him for one month, at the end of which they said, “Whom would we ask if we do not ask you, and you are one of the most esteemed of Muhammad’s (pbuh) companions in this land, and we cannot find anyone else?” He said, “I will try to give you my best opinion in her regard. If it is right, that would be from Allah alone Who has no partners. And if it is wrong, that would be from me and from Satan, and Allah and His Messenger would be clear from it.” Then he said:
“She should be given a mahr similar to that of other women of her family (or social status), without increase or reduction, and she should accomplish the ‘iddah (of four months and ten days), and she should be given her share of the inheritance.”
Some individuals from the tribe of Ashja were then present, and one of them, called Ma’qil Bin Sinan al-Ashja’i, stood and said:
“I testify that your judgment is similar to what Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) judged in regard to a woman of ours called Baru Bint Washiq.”
Since embracing Islam, ‘Abdullah Bin Masud was never seen as pleased as he was when he heard this. (Recorded by Abu Dawud, an-Nasai, and others. Verified to be authentic by al- Albani (Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 193)
From the above reports we conclude that if, at wedding, a woman was not assigned a mahr, or if her mahr was too small compared to her husband’s situation and the mahrs that are usually given to other women of her status, that does not forfeit her right to a fair mahr. She may then dispute that with the Islamic authorities.
Therefore, extreme care should be taken by the woman’s wall to make sure that his principal is given a fair mahr at the time of marriage. If she then chooses to give up part or all of it to the husband, she should do that voluntarily and knowingly.
By Muhammad Mustafa Al-Jibali
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John Doe
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