CHAPTER 3: THE WIFE’S OBLIGATIONS (3)
Denial Of Intimate Pleasure Is A Major Sin
Since it is a major obligation upon the wife to fulfill her husband’s desire, refusing to do so is a major sin that deserves the angels’ curse and Allah’s wrath. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
‘If a man invites his wife to bed and she refuses to come and he sleeps while angry, the angels curse her till the morning.’ (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
In another report, Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
‘When a woman deserts her husband’s bed at night, the angels curse her until the morning.’ (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
And Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
‘By the One in whose hand is my soul, never would a man invite his wife to his bed and she refuses but that the One who is above the heavens would be angry with her until he (her husband) forgives her.’ (Recorded by Muslim.)
Abu Umamah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘There are three individuals whose prayers do no rise above their ears (i.e., is not accepted): a fleeing slave until he returns (to his master), a woman who spends the night while her husband is angry with her, and a man who leads some people and they dislike him.’ (Recorded by at-Tirmidhi. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 3057).)
No Voluntary Fasting Without His Permission
Since the wife should be ready and willing to fulfill her husband’ desire, she is not allowed to fast voluntarily without his permission. The reason for this prohibition is that her “voluntary” fasting could interfere with her “obligatory” fulfillment of his desire.
Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘If her husband is present, a woman may not fast without his permission – except for ramadan. And if he is present, she may not admit anyone into his house without his permission. And he will surely receive half of the reward for whatever she spends of his earnings without his permission.’ (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Moderateness in Worship
Similar to fasting, a wife should avoid performing excessive worship that may interfere with her obligation toward her husband.
Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the wife of safwan Bin al-Muattil came to Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) while Safwan and others of the sahabah were with him. She said, “O Allah’s Messenger! My husbandSafwan Bin al-Mu’attil hits me when I pray, forces me to eat when I fast, and he does not pray the fajr prayer until the sun rises.” The Messenger (pbuh) asked Safwan about her claims, and he replied, “O Allah’s Messenger! As for saying that I hit her when she prays, it is because she reads two surahs (after al-Fatihah), causing me inconvenience – even though I told her not to do so.” Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘If only one Surah is recited, it would suffice the people.’ (Recorded by Abu Dawud, Ahmad, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 395 & 2172, and Irwa’ ul–Ghalil no. 2004).)
Safwan continued, “As for saying that I force her to break her fast, it is because she frequently fasts (voluntary fasting) — when I am a young man and cannot endure that (because of my desire).” Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘A woman may not fast without her husband’s permission.’
Safwan continued, “As for her saying that I do not pray until the sun rises, it is because I am from a family that is known to be like this. We cannot wake up until it is close to sunrise.” Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘So when you wake up, pray.’ (Recorded by Abu Dawud, Ahmad, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 395 & 2172, and Irwa’ul-Ghalil no. 2004).)
Avoiding Suspicious Situations with Other Men
Married life is based on trust. Depending on her conduct, the wife can be a source of honor or depravity for the whole family. In order to maintain her husband’s trust and safeguard his honor, she must avoid all situations that may cause suspicion to him or to other people.
Avoiding Displaying Her Charms to Other Men
A woman should be modest and plain in her appearance, avoiding everything that could attract the men’s eyes or give them evil thoughts.
Fudalah Bin ‘Ubayd reported that Allah’s Messenger(pbuh) said:
‘There are three (types of) individuals that you need not ask about (because they are doomed): a man who departs from the Jamaah, disobeys his imam (ruler), and dies in a state of disobedience; a female or male slave who runs away from his master and
dies in that (fugitive) state; and a woman that, when her husband is absent — even though he had sufficed her from all worldly worries -she adorns herself in his absence (to other men). So, you need not ask about those.’ (Recorded by al-Bukhari (in al-Adab al-Mufrad) and al-Hakim. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani(Sahih ul-Jami no. 3058 & as-Sahihah no. 542).)
Avoiding Unnecessary Talk with Other Men
A woman should not talk to men without her husband’s permission (whether explicit or implicit). Even then, her talking with other men should be limited, formal, and to the point.
‘Amr Bin al-’As reported:
“The Prophet(pbuh) prohibited speaking to women without their husbands’ permission.” (Recorded by at-Tabarani (in al-Kabir). Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 6813 & as-Sahihah no. 652).)
Avoiding Privacy With Other Men
The woman may not be alone in a private place with a man who is neither her husband nor her mahram.
lbn ‘Umar reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘Let no man enter, after this day, to the privacy of a woman unless he has with him one or two other men.’ (Recorded by Muslim and Ahmad.)
Avoiding Traveling without Mahrams
A woman may not travel without a mahram. In the state of travel a person is weaker and more liable to attacks and temptations – even in today’s modernized travel. Therefore, a woman must have a man with her to protect and help her.
Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘It is not permissible for a woman to travel except in the company of a mahram. ‘ ( Recorded by Muslim.)
And Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘It is not permissible for a woman to travel the distance of a band (one mailing station) (Ibn Khuzaymah defined this as 12 Hashimi miles. Each Hashimi mile is 4000 arm spans (60 cm), or 2.4km, or 1.5 mi. Thus, a barid is about 18 English miles.) except in the company of a mahram who is prohibited for her (to marry).’ (Recorded by Abu Dawud, al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 7302 & as-Sahihah no. 2421).)
AVOIDING UNDRESSING OUTSIDE HER HOME
A woman should not undress outside her home. Some women had the practice of undressing and taking a bath in public facilities for females. The Prophet (pbuh) prohibited that and indicated that a woman who does it would not deserve Allah’s cover and protection.
Abu al-Malih al-Huthaili reported that some women from Hims (A Shami town north of Damascus.) visited ‘A’ishah. She asked them, “Are you from the people who allow their women to go to public baths?” They replied, “Yes.” She then said that she heard Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) say:
‘Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband’s house has indeed broken off the veil between herself and Allah (swt). (Recorded by Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 2710).)
Similarly, Umm Salamah reported that the Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband’s house, Allah (swt) will then remove His cover off her.’ (Recorded by Ahmad, al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 2708).)
The above hadiths also apply to a woman who undresses in public fitting rooms or in any place where there is any chance for men or women to see parts of her body that only her husband may see.
Avoiding Going Out Of The House Without Reason
In general, the woman’s normal abode is her home. It is the arena of her important duties and successful performance. It provides her with protection and security, and keeps her away from suspicious situations. A muslim woman would not go in and out of her home without necessity. She would shy away from any place where she may chance mixing with men or being in their close proximity. Allah advises the Mothers of the Believers, as well as all other Muslim women, by saying:
“And abide in your homes and do not display yourselves as was the display of the former times of Janiliyyah.” (al-Ahzab 33:33)
Financial Responsibility
We have seen in Chapter 1 that the wife shares the responsibility of her home’s financial well-being.
Safeguarding His Possessions
A major right for the man on his wife is that she safeguards his property in his absence. Allah (swt) says:
“So, righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), guarding in (their husband’s) absence what Allah commands them to guard (their husband’s honor, property, secrets, etc.)” (an-Nisa 4:34)
Fulfillment of this responsibility is a good act that the Prophet (pbuh) praised. Ibn ‘Abbas reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) once sought to marry a woman from the Quraysh: Umm Hani’ Bint Abi Talib. She had five or six little boys from her deceased husband. She declined the Prophet’s (pbuh) offer, saying:
“O Allah’s Messenger! You are the most beloved of Allah’s creation to me, and you are dearer to me than my hearing and eyesight. But I would hate for you to be annoyed by these boys in the morning and evening. And indeed, the husband’s right is great. So I am afraid that if I turn my care toward my husband, I would neglect my children’s right; and if I turn my care toward my children, 1 would neglect my husband’s right.”
So Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
‘The best women to ever ride camels are the Quraysh women; they are most caring for their children during their childhood, and most caring for their husband in regard to what he owns.’ (Recorded by Ahmad and Ibn Sa‘d. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 2523). The text of the Prophet’s (pbuh) words is also recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others, from Abu Hurayrah and Muawiyah (see as-Sahihah no. 2524).)
By Muhammad Mustafa al-Jibaly
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