CHAPTER 2: THE HUSBAND’S OBLIGATIONS (2)
A Highly Rewardable Charity
Besides being an obligation upon the man, spending on his wife and family counts as charity for him.
‘Amr Bin Umayyah ad-Damri reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Whatever a man gives to his wife is a charity (in his record).” (Recorded by Ahmad. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 1024 & Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 5540).)
Abu Mas’ud al-Ansari reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“When a Muslim spends on his family, thereby seeking Allah’s reward, it is regarded as sadaqah for him.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Sa’d Bin Abi Waqqas reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Indeed, whatever money you spend on your family, you will be rewarded for it — even for a morsel of food that you raise to your wife’s mouth.”(Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
Al-Miqdam Bin Ma‘di Yakrib reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Whatever you feed yourself is a charity for you, whatever you feed your child is a charity for you, whatever you feed your wife is a charity for you, and whatever you feed your servant is a charity for you.” (Recorded by Ahmad, at-Tabarani (in al-kabir), and al-Bukhari (in al-Adab ul-Mufrad ). Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 452).)
The Best Form of Spending
A man’s concern should first be about reasonably sufficing his wife and family — even before giving money for Allah’s cause. Jabir Bin Samurah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“When Allah gives one of you some good (i.e., sustenance), he should start by (spending on) himself and his family members.” (Recorded by Muslim, Ahmad, and others.)
Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said;
“A dinar that you spend for Allah’s cause (ie.,Jihad), a dinar that you contribute toward freeing a slave, a dinar that you give as chairty to a needy person, and a dinar that you spend on your family: the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spend on your family.” (Recorded by Muslim.)
Adequate Support Is an Earned Right for the Wife
If a man does not financially support his wife in a manner compatible with his financial resources and her needs, she would be justified to take, without permission, a portion of his money that would suffice her and her children.
‘A’ishah reported that Hind Bint ‘Utbah came to Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) and said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Indeed, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man. He does not give me what would suffice me and my children – except for that which I take without his knowledge.” He (pbuh) said:
“Take of his money, in a reasonable manner, as much as would suffice you and your children.” (Recorded by Muslim.)
The Great Sin of Neglect
It is a great sin for a man to neglect appropriately supporting his wife and dependents. ‘Abdullah Bin ‘Amr reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“A sufficient sin for you would be that you hold (support) off those whom you are responsible for feeding.”(Recorded by Muslim.)
In another report, ‘Abdullah Bin ‘Amr reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“A sufficient sin for a person would be that he neglects those whom he should feed. “ (Recorded by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 4481 & Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 894).)
Providing Her with Food, Clothing, and Other Basic Needs
The wife’s right for financial support includes food and clothing. Allah (swt) says in regard to the nursing mothers:
“Upon the father is their (the mothers’) provision and clothing according to what is reasonable.” (al-Baqarah 2:233.)
The same meaning is seen in the above hadith of Jabir (p. 27). Similarly, Muawiyah Bin Haydah al-Qushayri reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“A woman’s right on her husband is that he feeds her when he eats, clothes her when he clothes himself, avoids hitting her face, avoids despising her (by words or actions), and avoids deserting her except within the same houses.”(Recorded by at-Tabarani (in al-Kabir), al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 3149 & Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 2033).)
In another report, Mu’awiyah Bin Haydah said that he asked the Prophet (pbuh), “O Allah’s Messenger! What is the right of one’s wife upon him?” He (pbuh) replied:
“(Her right upon you is) that you feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, avoid disgracing her face, avoid hitting her, and avoid deserting her except within the same house – especially that you have come to be so intimate with each other — except in things that would make it permissible to punish her.” (Recorded by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Majah. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih Abi Dawud no. 1875-1877 & Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 2033).)
Providing a Reasonable Dwelling
It is a right for the wife to be reasonably housed — in accordance with her husband’s capability. Allah (swt) says:
“Lodge them (the divorced) according to what you reside out of your means, and do not harass them in order to make life difficult for them.” (At-Talaq 65:6.)
Even though this ayah directly applies to the divorced women during their waiting period, its meaning is more general. It also applies to all those for whom a man is responsible; most importantly: his wife and children.
The Dowry
The sadaq or mahr (dowry) is the first financial right of a woman upon her husband. It becomes due as soon as the marriage contract is performed. We have discussed this subject in the first book (See “The Quest for Love & Mercy” by the author.) of this series, so we refer the reader to it for more details.
Kind Treatment and Compassion
AN OBLIGATION UPON THE HUSBAND
The wife has the right to be respected and treated kindly This is nor an optional favor from her husband. It is an obligation established through a divine command. What a man cannot control (the heart’s inclination) must not affect the way he treats his wife. Allah (swt) commands:
“Live with them (your wives) in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.” (An-Nisa 4:19.)
Token of His Good Nature
Rendering kindness to the wife is a sign of good nature and righteousness. The Prophet (pbuh) gave the perfect example of how a righteous believer should treat his wife. ‘A’ishah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“The best of you are those who are best to his family, and I am the best of you toward my family.” (Recorded by at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 285).)
Abu Hurayrah, Ibn ‘Abbas, and others reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“The best among you are those who are best to their women (or family).” (Recorded by Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 3265, 3266, 3316).)
Abu Hurayrah also reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) Said:
“The believers who are most complete in faith are those of best manners; and the best among them are those who are best (in treatment) to their women.”(Recorded by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibban. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani(as-Sahihah no. 284).)
Understanding the Woman’s Fragile Nature
The woman has a fragile nature, both physically and emotionally. Understanding this enables the man to treat her with consideration and compassion.
Anas reported that once Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) was on a journey, and had his wives with him. An Abyssinian camel-driver called Anjashah was driving the women. He would sing lyrics as he drove the camels, and his singing would cause the women’s camels to go faster. So Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) told him:
“Woe be to you, O Anjashah! Go slow in your (singing while) driving the (fragile) vessels (Note that we derived this book’s title from this hadith).”(Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim and others.)
According to a number of scholars, including al-Bukhari, al-Qurtibi, and al- ‘Asqalani (As in Fath ul-Bari), Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) meant two things by this:
1. Women have a delicate nature and build, and driving them too fast could harm them or make them fall.
2. Women have an emotional nature, making it easy for them to be moved by singing and poetry, which could affect their hearts and bring fitnah to them.
By Muhammad Mustafa al-Jibaly
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