CHAPTER 2: WIVES – PROBLEMS
How the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, trained his wives and dealt with their problems
This section covers two aspects of the dealings of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, with his wives: one is the way he trained them to become leading examples for other believing women to follow, and the second is the way he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, dealt with the domestic problems that occurred between him and his wives.
First aspect: How the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, trained his wives in order to make them leading examples for other believing women:
Even though the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, joked and behaved in a lighthearted manner with his wives, yet he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was keen on training them and making leading examples out of them.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did so owing to the feeling of responsibility he had as a husband and in implementation of his own words where he said: “Allah will call each person to account in respect of the subjects whom He had entrusted to them, did he ruin them or protect them? Until He [Allah] will call the man to account in respect of his household.” (Reported by An-Nasa’i (9174) on the authority of Anas ibn Maalik.)
Ibn `Umar (a Companion) narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian and responsible for his family.’’(Reported by Al-Bukhari (893) and Muslim (1829).)
The man is responsible for teaching his wife, guiding her and instructing her. There have been evil consequences in the lives of many women when their husbands abandoned their role in teaching them matters of religion and things that benefit them in the Hereafter.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, instructed his wives to be devout worshippers:
Umm Salamah (the wife of the Prophet) narrated: “One night the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, got up and said: “Glory be to Allah! How many afflictions Allah has descended tonight and how many treasures Allah has sent down [disclosed]! Who will go and wake the sleeping lady occupants of these dwellings [referring to his wives] up for prayers. A well-dressed [soul] in this world may be naked in the Hereafter.”” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (7069).)
When Allah disclosed to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, the afflictions and treasures (rewards) that were sent down in one night, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, got up in a state of astonishment and terror, because of the extent of good and evil that descended.
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was astonished at the fact that people were heedless of the extent of rewards and afflictions, because this should stimulate them to rejoice (for the reward) and fear the punishment awaiting those who commit the evil. This is why he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked that his wives be woken up. This was an indication from him to his wives that they should not be heedless of performing acts of worship, and that they should not simply rely on the fact
that they are the wives of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. This narration encourages husbands to wake their wives up to pray at night, especially during the times when a celestial event is happening (i.e. like strong winds, hurricanes, tornadoes, eclipse and so on).
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, taught them how to seek refuge in Allah from evil:
‘A’ishah (the wife of the Prophet) narrated: ‘The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, took me by my hand (one night) and pointed to the moon and said: “O ‘Aa’ishah, seek refuge in Allah from this, for it is what is meant by the saying Allah (which means): «And from the evil of darkness when it settles.» [Quran: 113:3]”’ (Reported by At-Tirmidhi (3288).)
Ibn Katheer (a scholar) said: “The reason he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, commanded her to seek refuge from the darkness of the night is that evil usually spreads during it. There is another narration which specified it to the moon, which does not contradict this verse, because the moon is the sign by which night is recognized and it only appears during it (night).” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer (536/8).)
This narration shows how keen he was on teaching his wives, by taking her by the hand, showing her what he wanted to teach her and then asking her to perform an action based on this knowledge while explaining the reason behind it.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, taught them beneficial supplications:
Juwayriyyah (the wife of the Prophet) narrated: The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came out from my room in the morning as I was busy observing my dawn prayer in my place of worship. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came back in the forenoon and I was still sitting there. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to me: “Have you been in the same position since I left you?” I said: ‘Yes.’ Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “I recited four words three times after I left you and if these are to be weighed against all what you have recited since morning
these would outweigh them and [these words] are: “ Glory be to Allah and praise is due to Him according to the number of His creation and according to the pleasure of His Self and according to the weight of His Throne and according to the ink [used in recording] words [for His Praise].”” (Reported by Muslim (2726).)
As-Sindi (a scholar) said: “This means that there are some supplications better than others, because they are more comprehensive and include the names and attributes of Allah. Therefore, shorter and fewer supplications would be more rewarding than others that are more or longer.” (The explanation of As-Suyooti and As-Sindi on the book of An-Nasa’i (78/3).)
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, guided and taught her what to say so that she could get more reward by exerting a lesser effort.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, guided them to the easiest and best worship:
‘A’ishah narrated: “I used to like entering the Ka’bah and pray inside it, and one time the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, took me by my hand and led me inside the Hijr (the semicircular fence attached to the Ka’bah) and said: “Pray in the Hijr if you wish to pray inside the Ka’bah because it is part of it.””(Reported by Abu Dawood (802) and An-Nasa’i (2912).) So he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, guided her to an easier way of praying inside the Ka’bah.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, instructed them not to be hard on themselves in worship:
Anas (a Companion) narrated that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, entered the mosque and found a rope tied between two of its pillars; so he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked: “What is this?” People said: ‘It is for Zaynab. She prays and when she slackens or feels tired she holds it.’ Upon this the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Untie it. Let one pray as long as one feels fresh but when one becomes tired one must stop it.”” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (1150) and Muslim (784).)
An-Nawawi (a scholar) said: “This narration is evidence that one should not be hard on himself in worship and should be balanced, and that one should perform the acts of worship when they are energetic and as soon as one feels tired, they should stop and resume once they regain energy.” (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (73/6).)
When ‘A’ishah informed the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, about a woman who prays the entire night and does not sleep at all, he disapproved of it. ‘Urwah ibn Az-Zubayr (a Companion) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told him that once Al-Hawlaa’ bint Tuwayt (a woman Companion) passed by her at the time when the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was with her.
‘A’ishah said: “I said to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, people claim that Al-Hawlaa’ bint Tuwayt does not sleep at night.’ Upon this the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “She does not sleep at night! Choose an act that you are capable of doing [continuously]. By Allah, Allah would not grow weary, but you will grow weary.””(Reported by Al-Bukhari (43) and Muslim (785).)
An-Nawawi said: “The term, “She does not sleep at night” was said by the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to show his disapproval of the act and to express how difficult she is on herself.” (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (73/6).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, encouraged them to perform continuous deeds even if they were little:
‘Aa’ishah narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The dearest deeds to Allah are those which are continuous, even if they were little.” Al-Qaasim ibn Muhammad (a Follower belonging to the generation succeeding the Companions) said: “Whenever ‘Aa’ishah performed a deed, she would never stop performing it.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (6465) and Muslim (783).)
Ibn Al-Jawzi (a scholar) said: “Allah The Almighty loves continuous deeds because of two things; first, is that stopping a deed after having performed it is like abandoning it. Second, is that one who performs a deed continuously is like a servant who continuously serves his master. The one who always stands by the door of his master for some time during the day is not like one who stands by the door a full day and then leaves the place.” (Fat-h Al-Baari (103/1).)
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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