CHAPTER 2 – WIVES – SPEND TIME
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to race with his wives:
‘A’ishah narrated: “While I was on a journey along with the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and I had not gained weight yet. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to the people: “Proceed [ahead of us]”, so they did and then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to me: “Come so that I would race with you.” We did, and I outstripped him on my feet. He left me for some time, and then when I became fleshy (gained weight) and forgot about this race, and was with him on a journey, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to the people: “Proceed [ahead of us]”, so they did and then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to me, “Come so that I would race with you.” We did, and he outstripped me. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, started to laugh and said: “This is for that.”” (Reported by Ahmad (25745), Abu Dawood (2578) and Ibn Maajah (1979).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, meant that I won this race in return for your winning the first race, so it is one for one. Despite the overwhelming responsibilities he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had, yet he made time to entertain his wives and attend to their needs and do things (like the race) to bring joy to their hearts.
Nowadays, many men feel embarrassed to do things like this with their wives, even if they were in an open desert.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would talk with his wives while on a journey at night:
‘A’ishah narrated: “Whenever the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would set out on a journey, he used to cast lots amongst his wives. Once the lot came out in my favour and that of Hafsah’s. We (Hafsah, and myself) both went along with him. The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to travel (on camel), and when it was night he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would walk along with me and talk with me. Hafsah said to me: ‘Would you like to ride upon my camel tonight and allow me to ride upon your camel and you would see (what you do not generally see) and I would see (what I do not see) generally?’ I said: ‘Yes’. So I rode upon the camel of Hafsah and Hafsah rode upon my camel. The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, came near my camel (whereas) Hafsah had been riding over that. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, greeted her and then rode with her until they came down. I thus missed (the company of the Prophet) and when they sat down, I felt jealous. I put my foot in the grass and said: ‘O Allah, let the scorpion sting me or the serpent bite me. And so far as the Messenger is concerned, I cannot say anything about him because he is Your Messenger.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (5211) and Muslim (2445).)
‘A’ishah uttered these words because of her extreme jealousy, and things that women say due to jealousy should be overlooked.
Out of his perfect compassion, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, instructed the man driving the camel to do so slowly.
Anas ibn Maalik reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was on a journey and he had a black slave called Anjashah, and he was driving the camels (very fast, and there were women riding on those camels). The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “O Anjashah! Drive [the camels] slowly with the glass vessels [women riding on them]!” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (2323) and Muslim (6161).)
Scholars said that the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, likened women to glass vessels because they are delicate, are easily affected, cannot (usually) tolerate hardship, and are weak. This is how glass vessels are, they are fragile and cannot tolerate much pressure or else they break easily.
An-Nawawi said: “This means to drive camels slowly, because this fast speed of the camel would exhaust the one riding on them, and since women are weak in general, they would get weaker if the camels were going fast. Consequently they could get harmed and could even fall, and this is why he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, instructed him not to go fast.” (The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (81/15).)
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would watch his wives joke together and smile:
‘A’ishah narrated: “Sawdah bint Zam’ah (the Prophet’s wife) visited us one day. The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, sat between me and her, placing one of his legs in my lap and the other in her lap. I had cooked Hareera (soup made from a variety of vegetables with lentils, chickpeas, and coriander) for her. I said to her, ‘Eat.’ but she refused, so I said: ‘By Allah, you will eat or I will splash it on your face.’ She still refused to eat, so I took from of it and splashed it on her face. The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, started laughing and protected Sawdah with his thigh and said to her: “Splash her face” so she did, and he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, started to laugh again. Suddenly, we heard ‘Umar saying, ‘O ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar (his son), O ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar’! The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to us: “Get up and clean your faces, because I think ‘Umar will come in now.”” (Reported by An-Nasa’i (8917) in his book As-Sunan Al-Kubra and Abu Bakr Ash-Shafi’i (112) in
his book Al-Fawa’id.)
If something like this were to happen nowadays between two wives while their husband was present, he might divorce them. These wrong reactions or behaviours usually happen due to the lack of knowledge regarding Prophetic guidance, and how the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, dealt with his wives and how he was humorous and joked with them.
This narration highlights the justice of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, between his wives even in their lighter moments. Even though he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, loved ‘Aa’ishah more than the rest of his wives, yet this did not make him an unfair husband. He did not incline towards her and act in her favour and helped the other wife splash her face as she had splashed hers. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, succeeded in making the gathering a fun one and they all laughed joyfully.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, listened to the humour of his wives:
‘A’ishah narrated: “I said to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, O Messenger of Allah! Suppose you landed in a valley where there is a tree of which something has been eaten and then you found trees of which nothing has been eaten, of which tree would you let your camel graze?” He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “[I will let my camel graze] of the one of which nothing has been eaten before.” (The sub-narrator added: ‘Aa’ishah meant that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had not married a virgin besides herself).” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (5077).)
Conclusion:
The family life of Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was shaped around Islamic principles and he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, implemented in his own life the principles he preached to his nation. His marriages, which involved a multitude of situations and aspects, were models for Muslims in all respects. While his marriage to Khadeejah introduced to us an example of monogamous life, his other marriages bring up a rich variety of his attitudes towards his different wives, each with a different personality.
In return for his wives’ loyalty and commitment to him, the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, always observed their rights.
Observing the rights of one’s spouse is a principle set by the Quran itself, which can be seen in the following verse (which means): «…And they [women] have rights similar to those [of men] in kindness…» [Quran, 2: 28]
Likewise, all the wives of Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, observed his rights over them both as a husband and a Prophet. Love and respect between spouses is integral to happiness and peace in family life, which finds expression in many Prophetic narrations and in actual examples from his life. In a narration, he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The best among you are those who behave best toward their wives.”(Reported by At-Tirmidhi (1082) on the authority of Abu Hurayrah.)
In other narrations he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A believing man should not hate a believing woman [his wife]; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”(Reported by Muslim (2672) on the authority of Abu Hurayrah.) and he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, also said: “Take my advice with regard to women: Act kindly towards women.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari (3331) and Muslim (1468) on the authority of Abu Hurayrah.)
These, and many other narrations, are all commands to foster love and respect between spouses, which leads to a stable family and community.
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
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