CHAPTER 2: WIVES – PART 1
How Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, dealt with his family, relatives and those around him
Section One
How the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, dealt with his wives
Introduction:
Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, maintained healthy, mutually fulfilling and harmonious relationships with his wives such that his treatment of them is considered exemplary of all times.
Upon studying the biography of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and narrations, we learn that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was very kind and tolerant towards his wives. They could not envisage life without him, even when he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave them the choice to be released from the matrimonial bond due to their straitened circumstances, because of his generosity and kindness, consideration and compassion.
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, consulted them when making decisions and took their advice. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, encouraged people through his enlightening words to behave kindly to women and declared that the most perfect of believers is the best of them in character and the one who is kindest to his family. Following the example of Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, costs a man nothing and earns him reward from Allah, as well as his wife’s love and happiness.
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, provided humanity with the most equitable and humane laws to build family relationships and to cement them with feelings of mutual love, affection and kindness. They have taken into consideration the natural instincts of both husband and wife and given them appropriate and reasonable opportunities to obtain the satisfaction of their natural desires within the lawful ties of marriage and forbidden all possible sources of temptation and also means of gratification of one’s self outside the fortress of marriage. At the same time, it has tried to protect the lawful interests of both the parties in wedlock on the basis of justice, without favoring any one party, and provided sufficient safeguards for each against exploitation and aggression by the other party. Thus, it has made every effort to enable them to lead a good and peaceful life in marriage.
If in spite of all efforts, the two parties find it impossible to live together as husband and wife, it has given them the way to leave the fortress of marriage without injuring or harming the interests or feelings of the other party. In this matter also, it has treated them equally with justice and benevolence. Both of them are equipped with the proper means to leave their marital relationship with mutual agreement or through the intervention of the Islamic Sharee’ah (laws and legislations), thus giving full consideration to their interests in marriage and in separation, without unduly burdening either of them against their natural desires.
Allah The Almighty commanded us to emulate the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and take him as the exemplar in whose footsteps we should follow. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): «There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern [example] for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.» [Quran: 33:21]
Therefore, all Muslims (each according to his position) must know the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in order to be able to emulate him. A husband cannot afford not to know the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam; a ruler cannot afford not to know the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who was just when ruling; a leader cannot afford not to know the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who was a stellar example in his leadership.
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was a leading example in the manner he dealt with his wives, and a beacon of light that guides people to the best way of treating their wives which would reflect on their marital life and on the community as a whole.
Consequently, this book will focus on the aspect of the marital life of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and how he dealt with his wives.
Examples from the marital life of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had eleven wives, namely, Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid, ‘Aa’ishah bint Abu Bakr, Hafsah bint ‘Umar, Sawdah bint Zam’ah Al-’Aamiriyyah, Zaynab bint Jahsh Al-As’adiyah, Zaynab bint Khuzaymah Al-Hilaaliyyah, Umm Salamah Hind bint Abu Umayyah Al-Makhzoomiyyah, Umm Habeebah Ramlah bint Abu Sufyaan Al-Amawiyyah, Maymoonah bint Al-Haarith Al-Hilaaliyyah, Juwayriyyah bint Al-Haarith Al-Mustaliqiyyah and Safiyyah bint
Huyay An-Nadhriyyah.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, died while being married to nine of them. However, Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid died before him.
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, lived a joyful life with his pure wives, which reflected a practical example to the saying of Allah (which means): «And live with them in kindness.» [Quran: 4:19] Kindness here is a general term that encompasses all actions, sayings and noble manners.
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the best of people in the way he treated his wives. How can this not be the case while he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the one who said: “The best amongst you are those who are the best in treating their wives. Indeed I am the best in treating my wives.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi (3895) on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah.)
The Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was kind in his treatment, and this is evident in his biography. If people today were to emulate the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, in his treatment of his wives, many marital problems which we often hear about would be solved.
Due to the increase in the rate of divorce resulting from marital problems, we must look into the marital life of the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and see how he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, lived his marital life which resulted in a harmonious joyful life. How did he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, treat his wives? How did he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, overlook some of their mistakes? We must do so because he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is the best example for us to follow and emulate.
He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would spend time with his wives and socialize with them daily:
Ibn ‘Abbas (a Companion) narrated: “Whenever the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, prayed the dawn (Fajr) prayer he would sit in the place he prayed, and people would sit around him until the sun had risen, then he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would go to his wives, one by one, greet them and supplicate for them. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would then stay in the house of the wife whose turn was on that day.” (Reported by At-Tabaraani in his book Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsat (5216).)
Notice that the narration says that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did this daily, and the first thing in the morning.
His wives never felt that he, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was not around, because they saw him daily; compare this with those who desert their wives for days and nights, rather for months on end!
Some people spend hours with their friends daily and stay with them until late at night so that by the time a man returns home, he would be completely exhausted; his family will have gone to sleep and he would simply throw himself on bed and fall into a deep sleep.
By Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
Comments
John Doe
23/3/2019Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
John Doe
23/3/2019Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
John Doe
23/3/2019Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.