CHAPTER 1: THE BOND (2)
Advantages of Marriage for Individuals
Being ordained by Allah the Most Wise and All-Knowing, marriage is sure to have many virtues and advantages. In what follows we list a number of them.
1. Preservation of Faith and Religion
Righteous spouses assist one another in preserving their Din by offering help, support, and advice that enable them to obey Allah and abstain from sinning. Anas reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“When Allah grants one a righteous wife, He has helped him (by that) to preserve half of his religion. Let him then fear and revere Allah in regard to the other half.” (Recorded by at-Tabaranl and al-Hakim. Verified to be hasan by al-Albam (as-Sahihah no. 625))
In another report from Anas, the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“When a servant (of Allah) marries, He has (by that) completed half of his religion. Let him then fear and revere Allah in regard to the other half.” (Recorded by at-Tabarani (in al-Awsat) and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albam (as-Sahihah no. 625 & Sahih ul-jami no. 430).)
Anas also reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“When a person marries, He has (by that) completed half of his faith. Let him then fear and revere Allah in regard to the remaining half.” (Recorded by at-Tabarani in al-Awsat. Verified to be hasan by al-Albam (as-Sahihah no. 625 and Sahih ul-Jami no. 6148).)
2. Preservation of Chastity
Men have a natural desire for women, and vice versa. Satan takes advantage of that to entice men and move their lusts when a woman approaches or moves away from them. He pictures her to them in an attractive and appealing form, which may lead them to various forms of sinning in compliance with their lusts.
Usamah Bin Zayd reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“I have not left after me a trial more harmful to men than women.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
A married person has a quick means of protection against the Devil’s whispers and seduction. Jahir reported that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said:
“A woman approaches in the (tempting) form of a devil, and moves away in the (tempting) form of a devil. When any of you finds in a woman something that attracts him, he should go to his wife, because she has the same as the other woman has, and that satisfies his desire (in a lawful way).” (This is a combined report recorded by Muslim, Abu Dawud, and others (as-Sahihah no. 235).)
3. Enjoying Love, Mercy and Security
Love and mercy are important sentiments that brighten one’s life and give him a feeling of reassurance, security, and happiness. One of Allah’s (swt) great favors is the love and mercy that He instills among the married couple. They dwell into each other, just as one dwells into a house that gives him protection, security, and happiness. Allah (swt) says:
“And among His signs is that He created for you, from yourselves, spouses that you may dwell (in joy and security) unto them, and He set between you love and mercy; surely in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 30:21.)
Furthermore, there is a wonderful feel of closeness between the married couple — similar to the closeness of a garment to a person’s body. They provide for each other protection, comfort, and cover. Allah (swt) says:
“They are a garment for you and you are a garment to them.” (Al-Baqarah 2:187.)
4. Lawful Fulfillment of Desire
As is indicated above, Allah (swt) has instilled in human beings the desire for the opposite gender. This desire may be satisfied in unlawful ways that would have destructive effects on the individuals and societies — as is detailed later in this book.
Alternatively, one of Allah’s great favors on us is that he provided us with marriage as a lawful channel for venting our desires. Ibn Umar and Ibn ‘Amr reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“This life is a temporary accommodation, and the best of its accommodations is a righteous wife.” (Recorded by Muslim, Ahmad, and an-Nasa’i)
“For those who like each other, nothing has proven as good as marriage.” (Recorded by Ibn Majah, al-Hakim, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 624).)
5. Pleasurable Way of Increasing Good Deeds
Not only is marriage a lawful means of fulfilling a person’s desire, but is also a means of increasing one’s balance of good deeds.
Abu Tharr reported that some of the companions of Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) complained to him. “O Allah’s Messenger! The wealthy people have taken away all of the rewards. They pray as we do and fast as we do, and they give charity from their extra monies.” He (pbuh) replied:
“But has Allah not given you that which you may offer as charity? Verily:
-Every tasbih (saying “Subhan Allah — Exalted is Allah”) is a charity;
-Every takbir (saying “Allahu akbar —Allah is the Greatest”) is a charity;
– Every tahlil (saying “La ilaha illallah – There is no true deity except Allah”) is a charity;
-Every tahmid (saying “Al-hamdu lillah – Praise be to Allah”) is a charity;
– Commanding good is a charity;
-Forbidding the evil is a charity;
-And having intercourse (with your wife) is a charity.”
The companions asked, “O Allah’s Messenger, does a person even receive a reward for fulfilling his desire?” He (pbuh) responded:
“Assume that lie directed it toward a prohibition (zina), would that not result in a burden for him?”
They replied, “Yes, indeed.” He (pbuh) deduced:
“Therefore, if he directs it toward that which is permissible (his wife), he gets a reward for it.”
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) then mentioned a number of other things that constitute charities, and concluded by saying:
“And all of that may be covered by two rakat that one would pray in the mid-morning.” (Recorded by Muslim, Ahmad, and others.)
Commenting on this, al-Albani said:
“As-Suyuti said in Ithkar ul-Athkar that one’s intercourse (with his wife) is a charity, even if he did not have any intention in that regard. My opinion is that this may be true for each intercourse, but he should have had a prior intention in that regard at least when he first married her. And Allah knows best.” (Adab uz-Zifaf p.138.)
In a similar hadith, Abu Tharr reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“It is required for every person, every day upon which the sun rises, to offer a charity for himself.”
Abu Tharr asked, “O Allah’s Messenger! How can 1 give charity when I have no money?” He (pbuh) replied:
“That is because among the forms of charity are:
-Takbir (saying “Allahu akbar – Allah is the Greatest”);
-(Saying) “Subhan Allah – exalted be Allah”;
-(Saying) “Al-hamdu lillah – Praise be to Allah”;
-(Saying) “La ilaha illallah – There is no true deity except Allah”;
-(Saying) “Astaghfir Ullah – I seek forgiveness from Allah”;
-Commanding good;
-Forbidding evil;
-Removing thorns, bones, and rocks from the people’s way;
-Guiding a blind man;
-Helping a deaf and dumb man hear and understand;
-Directing a person who lost something to loss – if you know where it is;
-Running, with the power of your legs, to help one who is desperately seeking help;
-Raising, with the power of your arms, an object for a weak person;
-Having intercourse with your wife: you get a reward for this as well.
All of those are forms of charity that you earn for yourself.”
Abu Tharr asked, “How could I get a reward for fulfilling my desire?” The Prophet (pbuh) responded:
“If you had a child who reached puberty, and you expected good from him, but he died, would you seek Allah’s reward for that?”
Abu Tharr replied, “Yes!” The Prophet (pbuh) asked: “Are you the one who created him?”Abu Tharr replied, “No, it is Allah who created him.” The Prophet (pbuh) asked: “Are you the one who guides him?” Abu Tharr replied, “No, it is Allah who guides him!” The Prophet (pbuh) asked: “Are you the one who sustains him? ” Abu Tharr replied, “No, it is Allah who sustains him!” The Prophet (pbuh) then said:
“Thus, place it (your seed) in what is lawful (intercourse with your wife), and avoid for it what is prohibited (zinei). Then, if Allah wills, He will give it life; and if He wills, He will make it die, and you will be rewarded (in both cases).” (Recorded by Ahmad, Ibn Hibban, and an-Nasa’i. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (as-Sahihah no. 575).)
6. Living a Harmonious Life
Marriage allows a person to live in harmony with his human nature, and eliminates from him feelings of conflict and dejection. As indicated earlier, abstaining from marriage is an unnatural act that has been prohibited by the Prophet (pbh). To the same meaning, Sad Bin Abi Waqqas and Samurah Bin Jundub reported:
“Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) prohibited abstinence from marriage.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
7. Following the Way of the Prophets
We saw above that marriage was a practice of the prophets. Since they were all chosen by Allah (swt) as examples for humanity, their practices are good, and it is our duty to follow them as much as we can.
8. Deserving Allah’s Help
We saw earlier (p. 5) that Allah (swt) will surely help anyone who marries intending by that to guard himself against sinning.
9. A Lasting Relationship
When a married couple has a good relationship based on faith and taqwd, their relationship will extend into the next life and the woman will continue to be the wife of the last man to whom she was married in this life.
Abu ad-Darda reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Any woman whose husband dies and she marries after him, she will then be (in the hereafter) for the last one of her husbands.” ( Recorded by at-Tabarani (in al-Kabir). Verified to be authentic by al-Albam (Sahih ul-Jami no. 2704 & as-Sahihah no. 1281).)
‘A’ishah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“A woman will be for the last one of her husbands.” (Recorded by Ibn Khuzaymah, Ibn Hibban, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 6691 & as-Sahihah no. 1281).)
Social Advantages of Marriage
From the above discussion, we can conclude that marriage has many advantages to the society as a whole. In what follows we list a number of them.
1. Preserving Humankind
Marriage fulfills Allah’s law for reproduction, as we have discussed earlier. Thus it constitutes a correct means of preserving humankind — until Allah inherits the Earth and all what is on it.
2. Preserving Kinship Ties
Contrary to zina, marriage preserves and reveres the kinship ties. It establishes the paternal relationships between the children and their parents, giving them all a feeling of dignity and self esteem. That strengthens the feelings of love and care within the society.
3. Safeguarding the Society from Moral Degeneracy
Marriage is the proper way to establish correct and permissible relationships between men and women. This helps maintain chastity, and protects the Muslim individuals from slipping into the filth of zina and other sins related to it (which will be fully discussed in a subsequent chapter). Thus, marriage closes the door in the face of many acts of moral degeneracy and decadence, which are among the major causes for the destruction of societies.
4. Safeguarding the Society from Physical Diseases
Together with zina and its related vices comes a host of destructive diseases. Among those are gonorrhea, syphilis, venereal ulcers, and. most recently, AIDS. Marriage is an important means of protecting the society from these and many other diseases that can be easily transmitted, and that do not even spare children.
5. Establishing the Family Environment
Marriage is a necessary step toward establishing a healthy environment for nurturing and rearing children. Our children are the fruits of our generation and the future men and women of our Ummah. Through good marriages, we furnish them with the love, mercy, compassion, and guidance that they need for proper growth and development.
6. Increasing the Number of Muslims
In Islam, what counts is not quantity alone, but quantity together with quality. Therefore, we are urged to increase the number of GOOD Muslims — not superficial Muslims. Good Muslims are those who live by Allah’s (swt) commands and follow His Messenger’s (pbuh) guidance. Such are the people who should increase and multiply so as to establish Allah’s religion in this life and enter His gardens in the next.
A Muslim should marry with the intention of increasing the number of righteous Muslims. Subsequently, he should strive to raise his family to the true religion. Only then, would they be among the numbers of Muslims who will please and delight Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) on Judgment Day to the extent that he will boast about them in front of the multitudes of nations who will be present.
Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Marry, because I will exhibit your large numbers (on Judgment Day).” (Recorded by Ibn Majah. Verified to be authentic by al-Albam (Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 1514)
Abu Umamah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Marry so that (on Judgment Day) I will be delighted by your outnumbering other nations. Do not practice monasticism like the Christians.” (Recorded by al-Bayhaql and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 2941 & as-Sahihah no. 1782))
7. Strengthening the Muslim Community
When a nation multiplies in the right and lawful way, it preserves the kinship relationships and protects its citizens from diseases — which results in a powerful nation. To the contrary, adultery loosens and severs the kinship ties, and results in the spread of diseases and perversions, which cause the nations to decline and fall. Allah (swt) wants the Muslim Ummah to be a powerful nation capable of establishing His laws and spreading His guidance in a most efficient way. This may only be fulfilled through maintaining chastity with lawful marriage.
By Muhammad Mustafa Al-Jibali
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