CHAPTER 1: THE BOND (1)
Marriage Is One of Allah’s Laws
Allah (swt) created our world and the laws that govern it. Among Allah’s laws is that we need food to survive, air to breathe, rain for vegetation, and so on.
One of Allah’s important laws is that things are created in pairs; and from these pairs, reproduction occurs. Allah says:
“We have created all things in pairs, that perhaps you may remember.”(Ath-Athariyat 51:49)
This applies to human beings who are made of male-female pairs as well. Humankind started with our father, Adam, and our mother, Hawwa (Eve). From that pair, Allah (swt) created all of the other people, as He (swt) says:
“O people! Revere your Lord who has created you from a single soul, created from it its mate, and dispersed from both of them many men and women.” (An-Nisa’ 4:1.)
And He (swt) says:
“O people! We have created you from one male and one female, and have made you nations and tribes so as to know one another. The noblest among you in the sight of Allah is the most pious. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing and All-Aware.” (Al-Hujurat 49:13.)
This continues to be the way of reproduction for humans, as Allah (swt) says:
“Allah has given you spouses from yourselves, and has given you, from your spouses, children and grandchildren, and has provided you with good things for your sustenance.” (An-Nahl 16:72.)
Islam Urges the Muslims to Marry
Definition
The word commonly used in Islamic texts for marriage is nikah. In the original Arabic language, it means “intercourse”. But it was then applied to the marriage agreement because it is a means to intercourse. ( Lisan ul-Arab.)
Thus the statement, “He performed nikah on the daughter of so and so,” normally means that he executed an agreement for marriage. On the other hand, the statement, “He performed nikah on his wife,” means intercourse. In this book, we will mostly replace the word “nikah” with its English equivalents to avoid confusion.
A Command from Allah and His Messenger
Allah (swt) commands the believers to marry and help those under their charge to marry as well. He says:
“Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His favors. Allah is Bountiful and Knowing.” (An-Nur 24:32.)
Also, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) commanded the young people to marry, and advised those of them who could not afford it to fast as a means of controlling their sexual desire. Ibn Mas’ud reported, “We were with the Prophet (pbuh) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Young men, those among you who can afford marriage should do so, for it helps lower the gaze and guard the private parts (from zina). And those who cannot afford it should fast, for fasting is a repression (of desire) for him.” (Recorded by al-Bukharl, Muslim, and others.)
Similarly, Anas reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said:
“You should marry. And those who cannot afford it should fast, because it restrains their desire.” (Recorded by at-Tabarani (in al-Awsat) and ad-Diya ul-MaqdisT. Verified to be authentic by al-Albanl (SahTh ul-Jami no. 4058).)
And ‘Uthman reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Anyone among you who has the ability should marry, because it helps lower the (lustful) gaze and guard the private parts. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, because fasting is a restraint (of desire) for him.” ( Recorded by an-Nasal. Verified to be authentic by al-Albanl (SahTh ul-Jamf no. 6498).)
Allah’s Promised Help
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) indicates that Allah promises to help any person who aspires to marry in order to avoid sinning. Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“There are three individuals that it is a right upon Allah to help them: a fighter for Allah’s cause, a mukhatib (A slave who makes a contract with his master to purchase his freedom.) who wants to pay himself off, and one who seeks marriage for the purpose of preserving his chastity.” (Recorded by Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasai, and others. Verified to be hasan by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 3050).)
In another report, Abu Hurayrah said that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“It is a right upon Allah to help one who seeks to marry for the purpose of avoiding what Allah has prohibited.” (Recorded by Ibn ‘Adiyy. Verified to be hasan by al-Albanl (Sahih ul-Jami’ no. 3152).)
Danger of Bachelorship
A strange phenomenon has recently developed among Muslims, without being confined to one country or nationality — a phenomenon whose consequences can prove to be most devastating to the Muslim community. This phenomenon is the alarming number of unmarried Muslim men and women.
On an individual level, it may appear that bachelorship poses a very insignificant threat to the Islamic world. However, in Islam, unlike other religions, matters are weighed in light of their benefits or harms to the community as a whole. So, what is the effect of single unmarried men and women on the community? To find the answer to this question, all one has to do is look at the non-Muslim communities. Every day we are confronted by the perversion and sinful practices that the non-Muslims find acceptable in their societies. This occurs because of their unnatural decision to abstain from marriage.
No Muslim would want the Muslim Ummah to fall into lifestyles like those of Pompeii or Sodom and Gomorrah – towns that Allah totally destroyed because of their perversion and disobedience. Protection against a fate similar to that can only be through lawful marriage.
Marriage Is a Practice of the Prophets
Previous Prophets
Previous prophets of Allah have married women, and none of them was known to practice celibacy. Allah (swt) says:
“And We have surely sent messengers before you (O Muhammad) and granted them wives and offsprings.” (Ar-Ra’d 13:38.)
Our Prophet
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) indicated that marriage is part of his Sunnah, and that whoever neglects it is not of his true followers. Even though he derived the greatest pleasure and highest satisfaction from the prayer, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) expressed that he still had the desire for worldly pleasures such as women and perfume. This is only natural for a human messenger. Anas reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Of your worldly life, I have been made to desire women and perfume. But the satisfaction of my eye has been made in the salah.” ( Recorded by Ahmad, an-Nasa’i, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Sahih ul-Jami no. 3124).)
‘A’ishah reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“Marriage is a sunnah (way) of mine; and whoever does not follow my Sunnah and is not of my followers. Marry because I will display your outnumbering the other nations on Resurrection Day. Whoever has wealth should marry, and whoever does not should fast, because fasting is a restraint for him.” (Recorded by Ibn Majah. Verified to be authentic by al-Albanl (as-Sahihah no. 2383).)
Ibn ‘Abbas said to Said Bin Jubayr:
“Marry; indeed, the best of this Ummah (the Prophet (pbuh)) had the most wives.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Ahmad.)
NO MONASTICISM IN ISLAM
Some of the followers of the earlier prophets tried monasticism as a self discipline that could possibly bring them closer to Allah. However, they were not able to fulfill it as well as they had hoped. The reason is simply that it contradicts human nature, and that is why it is not permitted in Islam.
‘A’ishah reported that Khuwaylah, daughter of Hakim Bin Umayyah Bin Harithah Bin al-Awqas as-Sulami (from the tribe of Sulam) visited her. Khuwaylah was married to ‘Uthman Bin Maz un. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) saw her and noticed her messy appearance; so he asked ‘A’ishah, (O A’ishah! What makes Khuwaylah appear so messy?) ‘A’ishah replied, “O Allah’s Messenger! This woman’s husband fasts during the day and prays during the night. So it is as if she does not have a husband, and thus she neglected her appearance.” Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) then summoned ‘Uthman Bin Maz’un and said to him, (O Uthman! Are you doing that because you dislike my Sunnah?) He replied, “By Allah, no, O Allah’s Messenger! Rather, my whole interest is to follow your Sunnah.” Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) then said:
(Verily, I sleep and pray, fast and break fast, and marry women. Thus fear and revere Allah O ‘Uthman, because your family has a right upon you, your guests have a right upon you, and yourself (body) has a right upon you. So, fast and break fast, and pray and sleep.) (Recorded by Ahmad and Abu Dawud. Verified to be authentic by al-Albam (Irwa ‘ ul-Ghalil no. 2015).)
In another report by ‘A’ishah, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said to him:
“O Uthman! Monasticism has not been enjoined upon us. Do you not have an example for me? By Allah, verily I fear Allah and safeguard His boundaries more than any of you.” (Recorded by Ibn Hibban, Ahmad, and at-Tabarani (in al-Kabir). Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Irwa’ ul-Ghalil no. 2015).)
Disliking the Sunnah?
As we have seen above, fulfilling a natural desire in a lawful way is not wrong, and it does not represent a lack of piety. Rather, that is the way of the Prophet (pbuh) who is the most pious of all people.
To the same meaning, Anas reported that a number of men went to the houses of the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives and inquired about the Prophet’s (pbuh) manner of worship. When the Mothers of the Believers described that to them, they thought that he (pbuh) did too little. Then they argued, “How could we reach Allah’s Messenger’s (pbuh) level, when all of his previous and later sins have been forgiven?” So one of them pledged, “I will always pray the whole night without sleeping.” One said, “1 will fast every single day.” One said, “I will abstain from women and never marry.” One said, “I will never sleep on a mattress.” And one said, “I will never eat meat.” When the Prophet (pbuh) heard of that, he addressed them and the other Muslims, saying:
“Indeed, by Allah, I fear Allah and revere Him better than any of you; yet I fast (some days) and break my fast (on others), I pray (part of the night) and sleep (the other part), and I marry women. So, anyone who dislikes my Sunnah is not (a follower) of me.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others.)
By Muhammad Mustafa Al-Jibali
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