9. THE WEDDING FEAST
THE WEDDING FEAST
The wedding feast is a Sunna (whose time never expires, though it is recommended to be after intercourse). The Sunna is for the meal to consist of a sheep or goat (shah), though it is permissible to serve whatever food is readily available.
THE OBLIGATION TO ATTEND
It is obligatory for whoever is invited to attend (and whoever does not respond to the invitation has disobeyed Allah and His messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace), whether fasting or not. If one attends, it is recommended to eat, though not obligatory. If one is performing a voluntary fast and attends, and it is not burdensome for the host, then it is best to complete one’s fast, though if this would weigh on the host, it is better for one to eat. It is only obligatory to respond to such an invitation if the following conditions are met:
a) that the host not have invited the rich to the exclusion of the poor;
b) that the invitation be for the first day of the wedding feast, for if the host celebrates it for three days, it is not obligatory to respond if invited on the second day, and offensive to do so on the third;
c) that the motive for attending not be fear of the host or desire for the prestige of having attended;
d) that no one will be there who will hurt one, or whose company is unsuitable (because of their vileness, for example, such as people devoid of morals or character);
e) and that there will be nothing blameworthy there such as flutes, wine, silk-covered sitting mats, or pictures of animate life on the ceiling, walls, upright pillows (not those lying flat (dis: below», or draperies; or clothing inscribed with something blameworthy, and so forth (since a person who attends in the presence of such things is as though accepting and acquiescing to what is condemnable). But if the blameworthy thing will be removed through one’s attending, or if the above-mentioned pictures are on the ground, a carpet, or pillows people lean upon (or other humiliated deployment, which is lawful), or if the living figures are decapitated, or there are pictures of (n: vegetative life such as) trees, then one must attend.
Strewing sweets and the like around at marriage agreements or picking them up is not offensive, but it is better not to.
(Source: The reliance of the traveller, revised edition, Edited and Translated by Nuh Ha Mim Keller)
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