6. SUPPRESSING RESENTMENT
If you ever resent a person because of his harm, beware of showing such resentment. By doing so, you will make him act cautious with you and provoke him to argumentation, thus trying by all means to harm you.
You should instead be kind with him if you are able to, and treat him as well as possible, so that his enmity and hatred dissolves with his shyness from hating you. If you are unable to bear behaving in such a manner, then you should avoid him in the best manner possible, without showing any sign of resentment that may harm him.
And if you were to hear a bad word coming from him against you, let your answer be good and gentle for that will be the strongest weapon to stop him from abusing you any further.
The same is applicable to all everything else you fear to show; beware of showing it to others because you may utter a word that may insult or degrade the pride of a ruler or a person in authority that reaches him and causes you severe problems.
Such words may also reach a friend of yours and thus cause his enmity. It may put you at the mercy of the person who heard it from you, fearing that he may narrate it to someone else— so be resolved and well determined by hiding your feelings of love and hate.
You should also hide your age for if you are that old, they will treat you as if you are an aging person and if you are young, they will belittle you. And you should also hide the value of your wealth because if it is much, they will consider the amount you spend as a sign of your miserliness and if it’s little they will avoid you.
Do not reveal what Madhhab you are upon either; because if you show it, one of your opponents may learn of it and hence declare you a heretic.
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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