5. CONJUGAL RIGHTS
CONJUGAL RIGHTS
THE WIFE’S MARITAL OBLIGATIONS
It is obligatory for a woman to let her husband have sex with her immediately when:
a) he asks her;
b) at home (home meaning the place in which he is currently staying, even if being lent to him or rented);
c) and she can physically endure it.
d) Another condition that should be added is that her marriage payment (mahr) has been received or deferred to a term not yet expired.
As for when sex with her is not possible, such that having it would entail manifest harm to her, then she is not obliged to comply.)
If she asks him to wait, she is awaited, to a maximum of three days. (She does not ask to wait because of not having finished her period or postnatal bleeding, for there is no physical harm entailed in her complying as she is, though if she fears that such foreplay with him will lead to actual copulation (which is unlawful under such circumstances), then she may refuse, as that is not obligatory).
THE WIFE’S RIGHT TO INTERCOURSE
(Imam Ghazali:) One should make love to one’s wife every four nights, as is fairest, since the number of wives one may have is four, and one may wait this long to do so, though one should make love to her more or less than this, according to the amount she needs to remain chaste and free of want for it (if one is able), since it is obligatory for a husband to enable her to keep chaste (Ihya’ ‘uium ai-din (y39), 2.46)
THE WEDDING NIGHT
The first time they sleep together, it is recommended for the husband to grasp his bride’s forelock and supplicate Allah for an increase in blessings (baraka) (such as by saying, “May Allah bless each of us in their partner”).
THE HUSBAND’S RIGHTS
A husband possesses full right to enjoy his wife’s person (from the top of her head to the bottoms of her feet, though anal intercourse is absolutely unlawful) in what does not physically harm her.
He is entitled to take her with him when he travels.
The husband is permitted to practice coitus interruptus in lovemaking with his wife (meaning to make love to her until he feels an impending orgasm, when he withdraws to ejaculate outside the vagina) though it is better not to (it being considered offensive in our school because it is a means to prevent reproduction).
The husband is entitled to insist that his wife undertake both the measures necessary for having sex with her such as the purificatory bath (ghusl) after her monthly period, and those necessary to full enjoyment of her such as the purificatory bath after major ritual impurity Ganaba), shaving her private parts, and removing filth.
(Source: The reliance of the traveller, revised edition, Edited and Translated by Nuh Ha Mim Keller)
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