PART 2: 150 WAYS TO BE DUTIFUL TO YOUR MOTHER
31. Do not engage in marital disputes in front of her because this will disappoint her; so, part of being kind to her is to try to make her oblivious to this nuisance.
32. Neither praise your wife too much in the presence of your mother, nor tell her about your life with your wife or what you always give to your spouse as a gift; try to maintain a balanced relationship between them.
33. Do not reveal detailed information about your relationship with your mother to your wife. Exalt the status of your mother and do not belittle her. Strengthen the relationship between your mother and your wife.
34. Avoid judging between your parents in their arguments. You need not do so, be neutral outwardly, and work on advising and guiding covertly.
35. Do not criticize her appearance, choices, mood, style or her way of dealing with people; if you become concerned that people would notice, then advise her gently.
36. Maintain a strong relationship with your siblings. And, if there are no disagreements, this should not be in the sight or earshot of your mother as it results in grief and misery for her.
37. Whatever the circumstances of your parent’s marital relationship, don’t support your father in marrying another wife; however, if you deem it necessary to support him to re-marry, then keep your support for this as a secret .
38. Teach her about the religion wisely and in a beautiful way of preaching, either by giving her cassettes, CDs or taking her to associate with religious companions, attending religious study seminars, and beneficial religious lectures.
39. You should help her in attending the sessions of dhikr by transporting her to that place and providing her with the schedule pertaining to these sessions.
40. The best time to be dutiful to your parents is during worship. For example, in pilgrimage be completely subservient to her, be extremely kind to her and enjoy serving her.
41. Apologize to her on behalf of your siblings whenever they do something to upset her, and praise her for the way she brought them up. Anytime something like this happens, try to explain that it is merely the whisperings of the devil.
42. Do not exaggerate the mistakes and faults committed against her by her relatives, friends, or her children, but reduce the effect of these mistakes as this minimizes her pain and it keeps the status of her beloved relatives and friends.
43. Do not tell her about sad news or terrifying catastrophes without preparing her for the bad news in a way to minimize the impact. Also, remind her about the reward of patience.
44. Naturally, women, regardless of their age, love emotional and sentimental words, so do not hesitate to give her the best of what you can in this respect.
45. Do not make her feel that she has grown old or is unable to perform her domestic duties, but inspire her by saying the words that enhance her self-confidence.
46. Do not deprive her of anything loved by women, even if she is old, such as perfumes, cosmetics or evening gowns, and help her to rejuvenate her youth.
47. if your father has more than one wife and they have a disagreement with your mother, don’t praise their decision or support their opinion at the expense of hers; avoid being judgmental or talking in this regard.
48. Do not show a lot of appreciation in your mother’s presence concerning the way other people raise their children because doing so shows that you are dissatisfied about the way she raised you.
49. When she talks, pay full attention and focus your heart and sight on her; smile at her when she tells jokes, and react appropriately in a sad situation.
50. Meet her smiling, joke with her respectfully, caress her gently. Do not be a burden on her, and in difficult situation be serious, concerned and alert.
51. Inform her about any updates surrounding her in this world and narrate to her the best of stories. Tell her what makes her happy because mothers desire conversing with their children.
52. Always praise her for your good upbringing, and be grateful to her for her hard efforts. There is nothing easier than saying thank you.
53. Inform her that you greatly desire for her to live a happy life, and that she is well pleased with you, and that you want to be the source of her happiness.
54. If her parents are alive do not be lazy to support her in being dutiful to them, and if they are dead make more charity and pray for them.
55. Make endowment for her resulting in increasing her rewards in the hereafter such as contributing to build mosques, sponsoring orphans or memorisers of the Qur’an, helping the poor and needy etc.
56. When she mentions any of her wishes or anything she desires, do not wait until she requests it from you but take the initiative and help her achieve her wishes as much as you can.
57. Give her the most priority of anything over your work, and even your children and your wife.
58. Be generous to her in your house, ask her to visit you very frequently and persuade her to sleep in your house – these things all change her life .
59. Take her with you on a journey with your children, your brother and sisters, and seek the way that penetrates the happiness into her heart as it refreshes her in life.
60. From time to time take her with whom you love to have a meal in a luxurious restaurant, but note that this type of activity will not suit every age group. If she rejects, then try to convince her.
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John Doe
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John Doe
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John Doe
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