4. A SUITABLE MATCH
A SUITABLE MATCH (KAFA’A)
(The definition of a suitable match should not be misunderstood as a recommendation for whom to marry. It is merely a legal restriction to protect a woman’s interests when the father or grandfather of a virgin marry her to someone without her consent. As for when she wishes to marry someone who is not a suitable match, and her guardian has no objection, there is nothing wrong or offensive in her doing so.)
Suitability concerns lineage, religiousness, profession, and being free of defects that permit annulling the marriage contract. (As for color, it is of no consideration in suitability.)
The following are not suitable matches for one another:
1. a non-Arab man for an Arab woman (because of the hadith that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Allah has chosen the Arabs above others”);
2. a corrupt man for a virtuous woman (though it is sufficient for the would-be husband to have given up his wrongdoing);
3. a man of a lowly profession for the daughter of someone with a higher profession, such as a tailor wanting to marry a merchant’s daughter (though an Islamic scholar is a suitable match for any level whatever);
4. or someone with a defect that permits annulling the marriage for someone without such defects.
Being wealthy has nothing to do with suitability (for money comes and goes, and those with self-respect and intelligence do not take pride in it), nor does being elderly.
The marriage agreement is invalid whenever a guardian marries his charge to someone who is not a suitable match for her, if done without both her acceptance and the acceptance of all who are eligible as guardians and are on the guardian’s level of relation to her (such as his brothers). But if both these parties agree, then the bride’s relatives further from her than the guardian may not object.
When the father or father’s father see that the best advantage is to be served by marrying a young boy (or girl) to someone, they may do so, though they are not entitled to marry the child to someone with a physical defect that legally permits annulment of the marriage
If a person is foolhardy (safih) or continuously insane, but needs to marry, then his father, grandfather, or the Islamic magistrate may marry him to someone. If they grant permission to the foolhardy person to marry himself, his marriage is valid, though if he does so without their leave, it is invalid.
(Source: The reliance of the traveller, revised edition, Edited and Translated by Nuh Ha Mim Keller)
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