29. NO WOMAN IS FAULTLESS, SO BE CONTENT WITH WHAT ALLAH HAS GIVEN YOU
Women are the strongest in having physical desires (shahwai). A man might see a woman fully clothed but still think she is prettier than his own wife.
He only thinks about the good parts of a woman, but after he gets married to her, or takes her as a concubine, he continues to ponder upon her faults (‘ayub). He never used to think about those faults in the past, so afterwards becomes bored with this woman, and seeks something different.
Little does he realise that getting a second wife might entail many hardships such as the second wife lacking religion (din), sound intellect (‘aq/), good management (tadrib), or love (mahabbab). So he misses out on more things than what he gains.
This is why fornicators commit this crime. They interact with a woman while all of her faults are hidden, and all of her beauties are apparent. They enjoy her for that moment, then move on to another one. So a wise man must realise that he can never get everything that he aims for:
“You would not accept it save if you close your eyes and tolerate therein.” [al-Baqarah (2):267]
In fact, the women of this world were not condemned by anything more that the verse:
“They will have pure women therein (Paradise).” [al-Baqarah (2):25]
A proud person stays away from the sight of dirt, and the idea of bad manners (‘ayb al-khalq).
So he must be content with what resides inside in terms of religious values, and adequate from the outside— this way he will live with inner contentment (qanaa) and a sound heart (tayyib al-qalb).
Seeking more will cause his heart to become further occupied, and his religiosity less powerful.
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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