27. THE OLD MAN AND THE YOUNG WOMAN
An old man complained to me saying, ‘I have become old and weak, but am eager to get a young concubine. I know they want to have a lot of sexual intercourse that I will not be able to provide. And my housewife has become old and I am not satisfied with her.’
I said, ‘I have two responses:
The first is the general response: ‘You should busy yourself with remembering death, rather than worry about getting a concubine whom you will not be able to preserve. She will dislike you, and if you exert harder effort, you will hasten your own demise.
In addition to the fact that she will not want an old man anyway:
Muhammad Al-Tamlml said [in poetry]:
Wake up my heart from your love,
and listen to the words of someone who worries for you
You have become attached to a girl whose heart is attached to other than
you, so you are attached to that which is not firm,
You have become chained, and she is free, what a difference between
someone who is chained and another who is free.
Know that she is counting the days for your death, and she seeks your money in preparation to connect with someone else.
She might resort to killing you, so be careful. Safety lies in abstinence and in contentment of what life brings to you.
The second response: ‘At any given time, you are either able to have sexual relations or not. If you are unable, then it is best for you to refrain. You might be able to compensate her with money and good manners, but it is a risk.
And if you are able to do so sometimes, then marry a young woman, because they do not know much about sex. Shower them with money and good treatment, and prevent them from mixing with other women.
And try not to ejaculate until the woman reaches climax! And admonish her regarding the Hereafter, and mention stories of nonsexual nature. Remind her of the righteous people and apply good scent and clothes. Spend much on her so this will make the caravan continue the journey safely.’
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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