24. THERE IS NO LIFE BUT THAT OF THE AFTERLIFE
I pondered upon myself and found it to be bankrupt of everything.
If I relied on my wife, she turns out not to be like what I had hoped; If she looks pretty, her manners would not be good, and if she had good manners, she would be occupied with her children, not at me. She might even be awaiting my departure.
Similarly, if I relied on my child, he is the same!
And so is the servant. If they gain no benefit from me, they would not want me! There is no good friend! And acquaintances who visit good people are not present!
I am left alone. Even my own self is rarely clear of disgust, and is rarely in a sound state! So all there is left is the Creator— If I rely on His Bounty, I am never safe from His testing. And if I hope for His Forgiveness, I am never safe from His Punishment.
O how my sorrow and O how my sadness!
There is no comfort and no stability! I am worried because of my worry! And I feel a burning from my burning!
By Allah, life is only that which is in Paradise, where certainty {yaqin) is accomplished through contentment (rida), and partnership with those who do not betray or harm.
As for this world, it is not that good of a place.
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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