18. ANIMOSITY OF RELATIVES IS DIFFICULT
Animosity of relatives is difficult to bear and may last long periods of time, such as the war of Bakr and Taghlub—the sons of Wa’il; and the war of Abs and Zhubian—the sons of Bughaydh; and the war of Al-Aws and Al-Khazraj—the sons of Qaylah.
Al-Jahiz said, ‘This [last] one lasted for forty years.’
The reason for this is that each of them hated to be surpassed by his peer relative, and envy took hold.
Therefore, whoever has an advantage over his relatives must be humble with them, help them whenever possible and be kind to them so that he may be safe.
A man told the Messenger, ‘I have relatives with whom I try to keep the ties of kinship but they sever relations with me.’ He said, “It is as if you feed them hot ashes (i.e. they cannot bear your kindness), and you will have support from Allah as long as you continue to do so.’”
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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