17. MODERATION IN LIFE
It is farfetched to imagine a person focusing on his Hereafter while he is overwhelmed with worldly affairs, particularly in the case of the poor youth who has been in poverty (faqr) all his life; if he got married while having no wealth whatsoever, all his focus will be on working to earn his provision or begging people, both which will distract him from focusing on his Hereafter.
If he begets children he will work even harder than to provide for his family. So he keeps justifying his means of earning until he falls into the prohibited category. All this because of his thinking about what he and his family will eat, the cloth and spend that makes his wife content! If a person has a mind burying itself in all that, how will he have a heart thinking of the Hereafter? Never!
By Allah, a person can never remind himself of the Hereafter while his eyes look at people, his ears listen to people, his tongue talks with people and his heart is being too busy seeking what he needs to have.
If someone asks, ‘What should a person in such a case do then?’ I say, ‘If you can find what suffices you from this worldly life, be content with it so that you can seclude yourself from people as much as possible. And when you wish to marry, opt for a poor woman who will be satisfied and content with the little she will live on. In return you need to accept her appearance and poverty [even if she is not what you wished for]. Do not let yourself aspire to be with a wife who will spend on you from her extra money.
If you are blessed with a pious wife then you will be able to focus on your Hereafter otherwise you will just have to be patient, and this is much better than taking risks. And beware of [marrying] beautiful women because, if you are saved [from their fitnah] you will be like an idol worshipper. If you earn some money do not spend it all, but spare some for the future to help you maintain your attention to the Hereafter [when you are in need of money].’
Beware of this era and its people for today there is no more generosity’ or empathy in people. None of them even care to help a friend, and if someone begs anything from them, he will not give away anything; if he does, he will give away while showing annoyance not only to show favour to the beggar and enslave him with this little give away for the rest of his life— but will also belittle him whenever he sees him, or demand him to serve him because of the help provided to him, and expecting him to visit him often for that reason.
In contrast, in the old times people were like Abu ‘Amr Ibn Najid who heard once Abu ‘Uthman Al-MaghribI saying while standing on the pulpit, ‘I am indebted for one-thousand dinars and that makes me live in distress.’
So, Abu ‘Amr visited him at night giving him one-thousand dinars to settle his debt. Abu ‘Uthman later stood on the pulpit and said, ‘I thank Allah for the good deed of Abu ‘Amr who eased my heart and paid my debt.’ Abu ‘Amr stood up and said, ‘O Shaykh, the money 1 gave you was my mothers who felt sorry for your situation. So if you like to repay it, please do so.’ Then, later in the night, he went to Abu Uthman and said, ‘Why have you made my deed public? I didn’t do it for the sake of people so keep the money and never mention me.’
Stay as far as possible away from those whose concern is worldly affairs and whose effect on you will not be anything but evil. In fact, all whom you see today are those who show friendship while hiding enmity’ in their hearts, envying you for the bounties you have and happy for any harm you endure.
Buy solitude regardless of its price because if a man whose heart is mindful of Allah walks in the markets he will return home with a different heart, so how would it be if the heart was attached to worldly pleasures?
Endeavour to work for your Hereafter by staying far from people, so your heart can be free and devoted to thinking of the final destination!
Let your insight notice the tents of those departing [this life].
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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