17. CHOOSE THE RELIGIOUS WOMAN OR SUFFER
A major source of harm for a man is the multitude of women (nisa).
His attention will primarily be divided in their love, trickery, jealousy and expenses, and he cannot assure that one of them will not dislike him, desire another or have no way out other than to get rid of him.
If he was able to avoid all that, he cannot guarantee earning for them, and if he did, he cannot help that some or all of them will get bored of him. He will then desire from other women that which cannot be attained; even if he had all the women of Baghdad and a strange woman came along, he will think she has what others did not.
There is no doubt that the ‘new’ brings pleasure (ladha), but perhaps what is hidden is then exposed. So if he were to avoid every related harm, he exhausts his body in intercourse—his desire for pleasure blocking the continuation of pleasure. For it may be that one morsel prevents other morsels, and one pleasure causes the cessation of other pleasures.
The wise person is he who confines himself to one if she conforms to his desire, and she must have things others do not, but predominance is what matters. Good traits compensate for the poor ones.
Religiosity must be considered before beauty, because if religion is lacking, she is of no use to an honorable man.
Intercourse is among those things that ruin the man, he should not be deluded by his prowess and the pleasure he feels, because it takes from his strength what does not return. He should not be allured by a meeting, and should avoid women if he had a desire for survival.
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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