10. AVOID THE DOUBTFUL
I was able to attain some worldly pleasures by resorting to some concessions that religion allows in certain situations. Yet whenever I used to gain something this way, I felt that I lost a piece of my heart and every time the pathway to such a gain is lit, then darkness settles inside my heart.
I told my ‘self: ‘O evil self! Sins scratch the heart leaving scares on it (al-ithm hawaz al-qulub).
And Allah’s Messenger said, “Seek the advice of your heart” hence nothing in this world is worthy if acquiring it makes the heart disturbed.
Should acquiring paradise (jannah) require one to compromise his religion or negatively affect one’s relation with his Lord, it will not be enjoyable (ladha) It is better to sleep in landfills while having a heart free of disturbance (salamal-qalb), than to lie down tin kings’ couches.
I continually strive to overcome my ‘self but while sometimes I manage to overcome it, at other times it overcomes me further claiming that it must gain what it cannot stay without and argues that it does not go beyond what is permissible.
But I respond, ‘Is it not better to avoid such gain out of piety?’ It replies, ‘Yes it is true.’ Then 1 say, ‘Does not gaining what you want cause the heart to harden?’
And it agrees with me on this and so 1 reply to it that thus therefore is no good in such gain.
Once I was sitting alone and contemplating to my ‘self, ‘Woe to you! Listen attentively as I have something to say to you! If you were to gain some worldly benefit through doubtful means, are you certain you will live long enough to spend it?’
My ‘self responded, ‘No!’
So I said, ‘It is then a calamity that someone else ends up having it, all the while you only get the immediate trouble and the punishment that you cannot guarantee your safety from. Woe to you! Refrain from such dealings that piety directs you to leave for the sake of Allah! You seem to want to refrain only from what is a sin or not correct. Haven’t you heard of the hadith?: “Whoever leaves something for Allah’s sake, He will give him something better instead.”
Why don’t you learn a lesson from people who gathered wealth, yet it was their heirs who took it eventually?
Why do you not take heed from how people hope for some things but never live long enough to achieve them? There are many scholars who have collected many books but never benefited from them, yet some people only have ten volumes and benefit abundantly from them. There are many people who live happily while only owning two Dinars, and others are depressed while having piles of wealth.
Do you not have the wit to notice the state of those who resort to concessions? When they opt for a concession in one matter they become deprived of many things. It happens that when the house owner becomes sick, he spends multiples of what he had gained through concessions; on treatment. Indeed, the one who abstained from delving into this is safe.
This made my ‘self become annoyed with much of the blame I threw at it and said, ‘If I do not transgress against the orders of religion then what is it that you want from me?’
I responded, ‘I do not want you to be fooled as you already know what is in your heart!’ It said, ‘Tell me what I should do.’
I said, ‘You should be mindful of Him Who always sees you for you are [all the time] in the presence of the Great King Who knows your inner self more than what those who praise you can see from you.’
Be on the side of safety and beware of opting for religious concessions to sell your piety and certainty for the sake of your rash desires. If your nature endures a hardship because of that, then say to yourself, ‘Behold! It is not yet over, and Allah will guide you to the best of decisions, and will aid you with assistance.’
(Source: al-Hafiz Abu’l-Faraj ibn al-jawzl [d. 597AH] “CAPTURED THOUGHTS being” a translation of his masterpiece ‘Sayd al-K hatir)
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