1. WHO SHOULD MARRY
WHO SHOULD MARRY
(The legal basis for marriage, prior to scholarly consensus (ijma’), is such Quranic verses as.
“Marry such women as seem good to you” (Quran 4:3), and hadiths such as,
“Marry one another, that you may increase,” which was related by Shafi’i.)
A man who needs to marry (because of desire for sexual intercourse) and has enough money (for the bride’s marriage payment (mahr), for clothing for the season of the year in which he marries, and the expenditures of one day) is recommended to do so (to protect his religion, no matter whether he is occupied with religious devotions or not). One who needs to marry but does not have enough to pay for these expenses is recommended not to marry, but rather to suppress his sexual desire by fasting (and if it is not suppressed by fasting, then he should marry, borrowing the money to pay the bride’s marriage payment if she will not accept his owing it to her).
It is offensive for someone who does not need marriage (being undesirous of it because of a physical defect or other reason) to marry when he does not have enough money to cover the expenses. Marriage is not offensive for a man who has enough money, even when there is something that might prevent him from doing so such as old age or a chronic illness, though it is superior for him to devote himself to worship instead. If he does not devote himself to worship (being occupied with enjoyments and not thinking of worship at all) then marriage is better (since someone whose lack of sexual desire is not due to a physical defect may later have such desire, as opposed to someone whose lack of desire is because of such a defect, to whom this will not happen).
As for a woman, if she needs to marry, it is recommended for her to do so, though if she does not, (not feeling any sexual desire within herself, and she is engaged in worship,) then it is offensive for her to do so. (Though such a woman needs a husband or unmarriageable relative to travel and so forth.
DESIRABLE CHARACTERISTICS IN A BRIDE
It is recommended for a man to marry a virgin (unless there is a reason not to, such as sexual incapacity or needing someone to take care of his children) (though it is permissible to marry a nonvirgin even if she has not previously married who is fertile (which in a virgin is inferable from her relatives), attractive, intelligent, religious, of a good family, and not a close relative. (In Sharh al-Minhaj, Ibn Hajar notes that when one must choose between the above characteristics, the order of preference should be:
1. religiousness, which takes precedence over anything else;
2. intelligence;
3. a good character and disposition;
4. fertility;
5. a good family;
6. virginity;
7. beauty;
8. and then that which fulfills some other relevant interest.)
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John Doe
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John Doe
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